Teachers Pet

70: The Truth

"I don't... I don't know where to start." Jake held my hands firmly in his. I wanted to stay like this just a little while longer. He tilted his head, trying to read the expression on my face. I assume he saw the guilt there. Whatever he saw there, he gave me a small smile. I smiled back, but it was weak. He lifted a hand to brush away a tear I hadn't known had fallen down my cheek. I wiped away any remnants left behind.

"Start wherever is easiest for you," he suggested. I shook my head, biting my bottom lip.

"None of this is easy." He nodded, trying to understand. I was being vague and this was all probably so confusing to him. Jake turned in his seat to face me better. I did the same. I looked down at my hands, starting to fiddle with my fingers.

"It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay." I could hear the concern in his voice. It made this all that much harder. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

"I thought he was you." I looked up to see the confusion on his face. I might as well have spoken to him in a completely different language. I tried again. "That night... The Halloween party. I thought it was you."

Jakes eyes shifted about as he tried to undertsand what I was trying to say. That night had been a horrible experience for me. I tried to forget all about it, but I knew one day we would need to have this conversation. I grabbed ahold of his hands in my own. It was what tethered me to the present, a lifeline. I don't even think he realized how much I needed him right now.

"I had been drinking while I waited for you. When you finally showed up, I was dancing. And then you came from behind me and I kissed you and I can't remember what we said... But then I was in your arms and you were carrying me up the stairs. Then we were in a room and it was dark and quiet." Jake continued to look confused by my words. He was trying to recall that night the way I was explaining, but that isn't what happened. Not for him at least.

"Blair, I didn't take you up to any room. What- "

"I pulled you closer." I continued, not letting him finish. "I laughed when you picked me up and put me on the dresser. Then you stood between my legs and kissed me in a way you'd never kissed me before. When your hand started going up my thigh... under my dress... I told myself I wasn't afraid.

I wanted to be with you in that way. So when your hand made its way to my underwear-" I sucked in a sharp breath. The tears were coming faster than I had anticipated. Jake didn't move as I spoke. He was as still as a statue. There was this moment of realization on his face that settled into a sort of anger I don't think I have ever seen him have before.

"You thought it was me." His words sounded like he was almost choking.

"Before anything else could happen, my phone went off and I thought it was my mom. But it was you and you were asking me where I was. Before I could really understand what was happening... Nolan saw the text and he just. He snapped. He pinned my wrist above my head and... He was just so angry. Then the door opened and you saw us." Jake nodded, more to himself. That anger and realization was still there. It almsot radiated off of him.

"Coincidental or convenient. That's what he said to me when he asked why I was there." I wasn't sure if Jake was talking to me or to himself. I remembered those words though. I remembered the way Nolan had said them and how confused Jake had been. Things started to make sense for him now.

"I wanted to tell you right there and then what was happening, but he was listening. I wanted to tell you about the first time he hurt me. It was the morning I was supposed to meet you at Bella's. Nolan had held my face in his hand and didn't loosen his grip... Not even after I told him he was hurting me. But nothing bad happened after that... Not until he saw your text that night. Not until we left the party."