Teachers Pet

71: A Leash

        "So... Duquette's then?" Dean pushed the loose strands of hair out of his face. He smiled at me anxiously, waiting for my response. I know he wanted this more than anything. All of us hanging out... with Bailey. I had told him how I would try to help better the situation. That I wanted to make things easier for them. I meant it at the time, I genuinely did. But now, part of me wanted to revoke the offer.

       I couldn't do that though. Not if I still wanted Dean in my life, which I do. We were friends. I wanted to protect that friendship. If hanging out with Bailey at Duquette's made things easier for her and Dean, then okay. If it made things easier for me and Dean, then okay. I was happy that Dean was happy. Helping him is the least I could do. He has already done so much for me.

       Hanging out at the diner my mom worked at, however, seemed like it would be an awkward situation. My mom loved Dean. She never stopped. I can't imagine how that would make Bailey feel. I know exactly how it would make me feel.

       "Why does it have to be Duquette's? Why not a different diner?" Dean smiled, just happy I didn't object to hanging out I think. He looked over his shoulder to Jill who was ignoring us altogether. I knew she was listening, but she was obviously still annoyed with me. She was on the floor watching TV with her back to us. The only reason I knew she was paying attention to us? She was watching the news. Jill didn't watch the news.

       "We can go wherever. Any suggestions?" Dean tried to include her in the conversation, but she just shrugged. She didn't even look our way. I rolled off her bed, getting annoyed with her silence. The entire drive back to the house had been quiet and tense. The only time she spoke was when we stopped to get Tanya's milkshake.

       She hadn't asked me any questions or showed any interest in hearing what happened between Jake and me. I wasn't sure how much I would tell her anyway. But I still wanted to talk to her. I needed to vent to my best friend. Especially after my talk with Jake. When I left his car, I felt this emptiness that I couldn't explain.

       My time with him had felt so short. I wanted more, but his time was not mine to want. I was fooling myself to think he wanted more of my mine as well. Still, the way his questions and his responses felt drawn out... It wasn't hard to imagine we both were trying to steal more of each other's time.

       When he sighed after looking at the clock on his dashboard, I tried to not smile at the disappointment on his face. I knew he needed to get back... to her. I cleared my throat and thanked him for meeting me. He told me any time without any hesitation or regret. My heart tugged at that, but I didn't let it show. I had hoped he couldn't see how much he still affected me. Though I was more than certain he already knew. He had to know deep down that what I wanted more than anything was a second chance at us.

       But a second chance was already in play. Vanessa was the one who would get to do it all again. I envied her, and if I was being honest, I hated her as well. She didn't deserve a second chance. Nolan had said she was crazy. Jake had said she hurt him both physically and emotionally. How was she any better than Nolan? No, Vanessa did not deserve a second chance.

       These were the things I wanted to talk about with Jill, but I didn't want to be the first to speak. Maybe it was me being stubborn, but I felt like she was just waiting or me to apologize. What exactly would I need to apologize for? I did nothing wrong. I told her how I felt and I shouldn't be sorry about that. So I said nothing.

       When we got back to the house, she led the way to her room where Dean had been. She never said he would be here, so I didn't bother hiding my surprise from him. He smiled in greeting and asked how I was feeling. I lied and said I was good. I was nowhere near good. Then he asked if he could talk to me about something. That something had been Bailey.