Teachers Pet

61: Silently Freaking Out

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts... In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Everything will be okay. I will be okay. I will be -

"Do you need more time?" I laughed nervously in response to my mothers' question. I'd already spent more than enough time in this car trying to calm my nerves. And not only was my heart racing, it felt like it would break out of my chest from the intense pounding. I was on the verge of hyperventilating, but controlling my breathing was helping.

Another glance out the window and I wanted to empty the contents of my stomach. My lawyer wasn't kidding about reporters being here. He just hadn't specified on how many. It wasn't just a small crowd either. They pushed against police officers in an attempt to get closer to the car. Camera flashes went off every second it seemed. The way they yelled incomprehensible nonsense in my direction made me want to shrink into the car seat. I wasn't sure how clearly they could see me through Dean's back window, but it didn't stop me from avoiding making eye contact with any of them.

The lack of sleep didn't help my nerves. I'd woken up on the futon with aches in my lower back from the frame. There had been no missed calls on my phone and I wasn't sure how bothered I was by it. I shouldn't have expected Jake to try and call back. There was no reason for him to. Still... It didn't stop me from moping about it. I just wish it had been enough to distract me from all of this.

"I'm ready," I lied. My mother grabbed my hand and squeezed. I met her stare and felt my heart crumble a bit. Is this how she felt before going against Marcus? I'd squeezed her hand the same way and told her -

"No matter what, we'll be okay." I smiled through fresh tears. I think out of everyone, my mother is who I needed the most right now. No one knew more about what I was going through than her. Her hand was the one I needed in mine. Her words were the ones I needed to hear. I just needed my mom. I needed her more than anything because right now I felt like a helpless child.

"I'm ready," I said again. This time, it didn't feel so much like a lie. Not when she held my hand. She nodded and moved a strand of hair away from my eyes and behind my ear. When she cupped my face, I couldn't help but lean into her hand. My nerves eased just the slightest at the brush of her thumb against my cheek.

"Look." I and my mother turned to see where Dean pointed. Ahead of us, parked at least five cars away, Jill and Tanya were stepping onto the sidewalk. Their eyes widened as they took in the sight of the reporters. Tanya grabbed Jill's hand and walked fast behind them and up the stairs. They completely avoided any interaction. They slid right through the front doors with ease.

"Lucky them," I mumbled. With one last deep breath, I reached for the door handle. I couldn't open it though. My hand stayed frozen on the handle as I stared out the window. The cameras flashing, the reporters yelling, the questions I actually did hear, the police pushing back against them, the microphones and recorders they stretched out towards the car-

"Oh," I gasped. The door opened to Dean holding out a hand. When did he get out? He smiled at me encouragingly though I could see the tension behind it. The air was so brisk, but at least it wasn't snowing. The light jacket I wore, thanks to Jill, was enough this time.

"Harper!"

"Blair Harper!"

"Miss Harper!"

The yelling was louder now. It was a little disorienting. I reached for Dean's hand and let him basically pull me out of the car. My mother was already out of the car and making her way around to meet us. Her face was hard and unkind as she looked over everyone.