Teachers Pet

45: I'm Not A Victim

        "Nolan is full of life. He's always smiling, he makes everyone laugh. He's the best quarterback our school has and he's a lead in our school play. The guy does school plays... Everyone knows who he is and we know he isn't this person he's being made out to be. He could never be that person."

       "He's one of my closest friends. When I need him, he's there. He's the first person I go to when I need help. Nolan's my go to person. Nolan Pierce is innocent, I know he is."

       "As a teacher at the school, it's my job to know all of my students. Believe me when I tell you, I know Nolan Pierce. He's always got this goofy smile on his face, he makes all the other kids laugh. This kid had plans for his future. He had plans and now that's being taken away from him. He's a smart kid... He isn't stupid to throw all of that away."

       I turned the TV off, not wanting to hear another word. The news was worse than ever now. I didn't anticipate for it to get worse... not like this. Earlier today, my mother's trial took place and we won. It was quick and nothing like ripping off a band-aid. The entire time the trial was happening, I felt and heard people judging me. I sat right behind my mother in the first row. I watched and listened as she told the jury everything Marcus had done to her and me. She told them everything that had happened these last twelve years. Every time she said his name, I could see her want to cry. She wanted to break but she wouldn't allow herself to do so. Not with him in the same room as her. She would not let him see her weak ever again.

       When Marcus was sentenced to twenty-five years, I waited for the wave of relief to wash over me. But there had been no sense of victory of justice when the judges' gavel sounded. Jill, Tanya and their mother had been sitting next to me and had sighed with relief. I wondered what that feeling must have felt like. When Marcus was taken away in handcuffs, I noticed an older woman watching until the doors closed behind him. That's when she turned to look at my mother who was still standing next to her lawyer. My mother had been in shock it seemed. We both had worried about what would happen after the trial. Marcus's mother owned the house we lived in and we're the reason he just got twenty-five years. That hadn't stopped her from approaching my mother after we left the courtroom to ask us over for dinner tonight. My mother agreed to it without hesitating. I wanted to make an excuse as to why I couldn't go, but one look at my mother and I knew where I needed to be tonight. She wouldn't make me go, but she needed me right now. I think my mother was ready to fall and I needed to be there to catch her.

       "You look beautiful, Blair." I looked over my shoulder. My mother was wearing a black dress that was modest in every way. Her hair lightened up her face. She replaced her long black hair with a short light brown color. She sported bangs that covered her scar along her hairline too. Her hair brushed against her shoulders, making her appear younger almost. She looked so happy with the change, but it didn't hide her anxious feelings about tonight. I'd spent an hour just staring at all the dresses I owned. All three of them that is. One was red with a black velvet belt. The second was a short black dress that was not appropriate for tonight. The last dress was a short grey dress that I had worn to a funeral for Jill's grandfather. It zipped up in the back with a button at the top. The top was fitted but the bottom was loose. The sleeves were thick straps that felt appropriate to me. It showed my collar bones but that was it. It was the dress I chose to wear and it felt anything but appropriate now. I felt like I was in mourning for Marcus.

       "You too," I told her. I had left my hair down, not wanting to show that small part of my shaved head where I had gotten stitches. I wanted to wear makeup, but I wasn't sure if I should. I had settled on cheap eyeliner that would probably smear later on. My mother seemed to have had the same thought because she wore simple eyeliner too. I watched as she smoothed out her dress repeatedly, fixing wrinkles that weren't even there.