Teachers Pet

16: Not Like This

        I kept thinking of my Saturday with Nolan. If I had given him my number, we would've talked afterward. I just wasn't ready too yet. I don't want to do that to him. To get his hopes up when I was fooling around with my teacher. I'd be leading him on, but wasn't I already?

       "You look distracted."

       "Stop staring and you won't notice," I suggested. Even I could hear how harsh that came out. I put my pen down and looked up to Jake. I'd stayed after school to help him with grading papers, but I was too distracted by my thoughts of Nolan and the guilt I felt. I also know that I didn't come to grade papers. I wanted to spend more time with Jake, but the guilt was still there. He obviously could tell something was bothering me too. "I'm sorry."

       "We can take a break if you want..." I shook my head. I didn't need one.

       "No, it's okay. I just have a few more papers."

       "Blair..." I looked at him, feeling confused by his change of tone. He set his pen down too as he leaned back in his desk chair. Sitting at the front table felt so far away from him. I wanted to sit next to him, but I didn't want to risk someone walking in and making assumptions. Maybe they wouldn't think anything of it though.

       "What?" I asked quietly, still confused. He searched my face for something before looking frustrated.

       "I mean, a break from what we're doing. This thing me and you have." A break.

       "Oh... "

       "If it's too much for you- "

       "It's not." I stood up, knowing I was being distant with him. I had to put Nolan out of my mind and focus on what I really wanted. On what I already had. I walked over to his desk and sat on it right next to him. With a small smile, I felt the atmosphere start to change around us. He smiled back, but it wasn't wholehearted.

       "Are you sure?" Over the last couple of weeks, I found myself getting much more comfortable with Jake. Thinking his name didn't make me feel as dirty. Being around him felt almost natural sometimes. I almost felt the same way with Nolan...

       "I'm sure." I touched his cheek and felt my heart flutter when he reached up to keep it there. He smiled more genuinely at me, turning his face to kiss my wrist before letting my hand go. I rubbed my thumb against his cheek as I leaned down to kiss him. When our lips met, I felt myself about to get carried away. I didn't know how to stop myself sometimes. When I was with him, I felt like someone else entirely. And I liked who I was when we were together.

       "I still have to grade papers," he mumbled against my lips. I shook my head slightly, trying not to break the kiss.

       "Pass everyone. It's just art." Jake turned in his chair to face me somewhat.

       "The only person with wrong answers I pass in this class is you, Miss Harper." I stopped kissing him but kept my lips hovered by his. As I opened my eyes, I noticed his were just opening. He smiled at me, waiting for my response.

       "I don't get wrong answers in art," I argued. He laughed as he pecked me. When he pulled away, I couldn't help but feel irritated by him picking up his pen.

       "Then why did you put on your test that Picasso painted the piece 'David'?" I shrugged, thinking that it had sounded right.

       "That's not right?" He laughed as he slid a paper in front of me, showing me a perfect 'A' on my test we had earlier this week.