Teachers Pet

59: Fifteen Hours and Thirty-Three Minutes

        "What about this one?" I made a face at the dark shade of yellow Jill held up. The color swatch was unpleasant to look at. Jill seemed to like this one, though she liked the soft brown from earlier as well. Asking for her help in deciding on a paint color for my room probably wasn't the best idea. Jill's room was a very loud orange that she always said would make her mornings brighter. Not to mention that it didn't really matter what we painted the room if we were trying to move... But it was a distraction. And I really needed a distraction right now.       

       I think I could use that... Something to make my mornings brighter. It sounded nice. I just couldn't decide on a color. We had been sitting on my bed for a while now just going through color schemes with different swatches.

       "This," I said as I took the swatch in my hand. "Looks like pee." Jill shook her head, her messy blonde bun falling a bit out of place from atop her head. She snatched back the small paper and pointed at it.

       "This is Chartreuse Yellow and it was highly recommended by the lady at the store." She said the words as if they would change my mind. They did not. I shook my head at her with a smile.

       "Throw it in the reject pile with the poo color." Jill rolled her eyes as she tossed the swatch to the side. I laughed a bit at that. She shuffled through the leftover swatches in her hand thoughtfully. I wasn't paying any attention to the ones in my own hand. My mind was all over the place. It was hard to focus and Jill knew this. She knew how I would be the night before my trial.

       My mind wandered back to David holding my hand in his car. He'd let me cry without any explanation. He still hasn't asked and I was grateful for it. If he did ask, I would tell him. Perhaps not everything, but enough. We'd sat in his car for a long while after the laughter had faded into a comfortable quiet. It hadn't been awkward either. The silence that lingered in the air hadn't felt like it needed to be filled. All I needed was for someone to be there and I didn't mind that it had been him. I think I would have preferred it that way.

       Before I had felt okay to leave, David gave me his personal cell phone number. He told me that I could call or text him no matter the time of day, that he would answer no matter what. I didn't have to ask why because I remembered his earlier words. Let me help you and It'll be okay. I had told him things I never wanted to share with anyone. But now he knew I was constantly on the verge of not trying anymore... Of just giving up completely. And he wanted to help.

       David had walked me back inside and straight to my next class. He had let my teacher know that my time was excused and if they had further questions he would address them. None were asked. Not when David spoke with such assertiveness. I'd thanked him under my breath as I made my way to my seat. David's only acknowledgment of my gratitude was a slight dip of his chin in my direction.

       After class, David had fulfilled his usual errand of walking me to lunch. I had done just as Cassie had said and saved her a seat. The look on Jills' face had been as expected. It hadn't been long before news of the fight spread. I only wondered how much she heard about it. I begged Jill to hear Cassie out and she did. Not without complaint though.

        Cassie had explained everything to Jill and apologized as well. Not to me, but to her. She apologized again for not having said anything. She apologized for not seeing what was right in front of her. Jill hadn't said anything for what felt like forever. Cassie and I just stared at her as she picked up an apple and took a big bite from it. Once she was finished chewing, she narrowed her eyes at Cassie. She only said, "You better not back out," before taking another big bite of her apple.