You're not the only one with a secret

It's for charity

Today (outfit 65) we were in theatre class which means its the only class I can be in since its not a core class its an elective. Our teacher told us to close our eyes and to find our happy place. But that was the problem. What is my happy place? Is it here with my family or back at home where I was born and raised? Is it on stage with my cousin? Or maybe it's a person like with my best friend or my probably future boyfriend? Or could it be some place IDK of yet? Is it not a place or a person? Maybe its a thing like music. Or in my own mind. That's a place right? Maybe its my bedroom. Maybe my happy place is imagining someone that's not with me anymore. Being with my mom. When she died did my happy place go with it? A happy place is where you feel safe isn't it?

I mean there's a reason I came here instead of staying at home. Isn't there? What if my happy place is with the people that leave me? Jake was my best friend he was mine and no one else's he didn't belong to anyone he was my friend. Lukas is the only person I can see myself with but he came and went. Maybe they're both my happy place. Who knows when I'll see either of them again. Maybe I have more than one. Maybe its with any of my loved ones. Maybe its all of the above. I was born and raised in TN I came to CA both halves of a whole. The city and the country are both a part of me. Also I.E. Jake and Lukas. Farrah = TN Sabrina = CA. Jake = CA Lukas = TN TN= born and raised CA = Needing to be away after my mom died and I wasn't ready to go home.

I am two halves of a whole. City and country. TN and CA. Farrah and Sabrina. Jake and Lukas. My mom wasn't around but she is my happy place. I loved music enough to make a career out of it. I wasn't sure so I focused on the next part he told us to imagine all the good things in our lives. And Amber and Ashley had to ruin it all for everyone by doing their in sync thing putting their annoying into Miley's happy place. He told us to open our eyes and now that we had the chance to think about what we had it was time for us to think about people who aren't as lucky as us. He told us it was time once again to raise money for untied peoples relief fund. He said we were gonna help the less fortunate. And then a girl walked in late to class. She said she had to wrestle a cat away from a baby bird. But then she felt bad for the cat so she stopped at the pet store to get it some food. And it didn't stop there she said she saw a dog with a sore paw and dot dot dot.

He told her that every time he talks to her he feels the need to donate blood and call his mother. You should call your mother I wish I could call mine. I told him. I would give anything to talk to my mother again. He said that whoever raised the most money got a day off of school and their picture in the paper and a $300 gift card to the mall. I *scuffed* rolling my eyes because I knew if there was something in it for them that's when they try their hardest to raise money and someone would get a $300 gift card that $300 gift card could be going to the people we were supposed to be raising money for. And instead it was going to someone selfish for their own personal gain. The bell for lunch rang the kids in class talked about what they would with that money. Things they "needed" like Lily with her new "deck" for her skateboard. Sure she "needed" these things.

I couldn't believe the things people do to "raise money" for people who actually need it. As long as there's something in it for them. Not to mention that Miley wanted to beat Amber and Ashley. I don't understand why people can't just be good people because they want to be without having in it for themselves. They thought that if they didn't win Amber and Ashely would gloat like they did last year apparently and then they came over to rub it in their faces talking about how they did happen to gloat last year. They acted all fake nice saying they wouldn't do it again and that they felt really bad about it and wished them luck but we knew something didn't smell right with them doing that. They are up to something and we're gonna have to watch each others backs Miley warned us. Once they stood up they walked out with signs that said they were dorks. If they had more hands they would've put on my back.