Smile For The Camera ✔️ ~ trixya

The Things We Ignore

Katya was already on set by the time Trixie arrived, much to the singer's surprise. She stood outside of her trailer, wearing a black robe with the letters KZ embroidered onto it over her costume, a cigarette in hand as per usual. She looked stunning, her hair already styled, her purple shimmering eye shadow sparkling in the sunlight, her deep red lips puckering slightly each time she blew out another puff of grey smoke.

"It's not nice to stare, dollface." Katya stated in a slightly raspy voice. 

"Shouldn't I be allowed to stare at my girlfriend?" Trixie replied jokingly. 

The answer took Katya by surprise though, causing her to start coughing dramatically. She knew Trixie was only joking, of course she knew, but hearing the singer use the word girlfriend still affected Katya more than it should. 

"Careful, Chainsmoker, you'll kill yourself." The doll joked again. "Seriously though, are you okay?"

"Ye-yeah I'm fine, no worries." Katya said as she cleared her throat, trying to get her breathing under control again. 

"The producers loved the interview by the way, Mrs. Waters called me this morning. Clips are already going viral and everyone's saying how we look cute together." 

"Oh good, that's good... Trixie, I meant to tell you after the interview, but I really appreciate what you said about me yesterday. You don't owe me anything, seriously, but you still spoke very warmly of me and defended my past, and well... I really appreciate that." Katya said in a more serious tone. 

She rarely got honest, she was so used to constantly putting on a persona, both on and off screen. It felt strange to her, to speak honestly and seriously without hiding behind jokes, innuendos, or costumes.

"I only said what I believe to be true. I meant every word I said about you, and about the industry. I may have my issues with you, but I still don't think the industry has treated you fairly. With the way the media talks about you, you'd think you'd killed someone." 

"Sometimes I think I might as well have... I still don't fully know what I did to start it all..." Katya said sadly as she sat down on the staircase in front of her trailer. 

"Well, did it start right away?" Trixie asked. 

"Not the hate, but the rest of it... yeah... I was only thirteen when I started in the industry, but I can't ever remember not being sexualized or treated like an object. My managers only cast me in roles that sexualized me, roles I wasn't even really ready for. But I did them, 'cause you have to, you know?" Katya said.

She wasn't sure why she was even telling Trixie, she never talked about it normally, but something about the girl just made her feel safe. Perhaps it was the words Trixie had said the day before, the safety in knowing that the doll didn't view the industry as flawless despite initially seeming like another naive, young industry product. 

"Yeah... I know what you mean." Trixie said, memories of uncomfortable situations her own company had put her through filling her mind.

"The way they presented me... it was only a matter of time until people started believing that who I was on screen was who I was in real life. From then on it didn't really matter what I did, it was all viewed through that lense... I could be hanging up Christmas decorations with a friend and they'd twist it into me somehow being a slut. It didn't matter what explanations I had, no matter what I was always framed as the problem, the bad influence, the homewrecker. At some point you get tired of fighting against it all..."

"So you started playing into it instead?" Trixie asked, feeling like she was finally being handed the missing pieces of the puzzle that was Katya Zamolodchikova. 

"Yeah... It made it easier, you know? I could be the strong one that way, I could stay in control." Katya said, lighting up another cigarette as she stared out at all the people setting up the scene that they would be filming later.

"Katya... getting hurt doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human." Trixie said softly.

Katya looked up towards her, finding only honesty and care in her eyes. Suddenly she was filled with an unfamiliar feeling, a feeling of being naked in a whole knew way. She'd slept with countless people, had often thrown off her top in public without a care in the world, but now it was her soul and not her body that felt bare, and that in turn frightened her. 

"I... I should go get ready." Trixie nearly whispered, the curious and vulnerable look in Katya's eyes nearly making her reach out and kiss the other woman with all the passion she could muster.

"Yeah... Yeah, of course.. you should... I'll see you later..." Katya whispered, confused by her own feelings and thoughts, most of all by the way her heart was beating louder and louder by the minute. 

"See you later, Katya." Trixie said before storming away towards her own trailer. 

The country-singer swiftly shut the door behind herself, leaning against it as she held a hand over her heart, feeling it beating quickly beneath her palm.

"It's nothing... nothing at all." Trixie whispered.