Smile For The Camera ✔️ ~ trixya

Like A Fool

Trixie had known heartbreak, she was used to sacrificing relationships for the sake of her career, used to crying into her pillow behind closed doors whilst faking a smile on stage.

But this was different.
This wasn't normal heartbreak.
This was public humiliation. 

This time there was nowhere to hide.

Just when she had thought that Katya might actually be a better person than what she had initially thought, just when they had started to get along, the Hollywood rebel had gone and betrayed her. It's a special type of hell to wake up to photos of your so-called girlfriend cheating on you covering the front page of every magazine, your name trending on Twitter for all the wrong reasons, and the press relentlessly knocking on your door as they beg you for your thoughts on all of it before you've even had a chance to process it yourself.

Trixie wanted to say it was just the public humiliation that stung, but she knew there was something more to it. The ache in her heart had to be something more, even if she didn't want to admit it. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she closed every curtain, blocking out the flashing lights of the cameras. 

Hundreds of questions filled her brain as she sat curled up in a ball on her couch.

How would they explain this?
What would the producers say?
Had Katya enjoyed it?

Trixie hoped she hadn't.

The thought of Katya in bed with someone else, moaning someone else's name, made her want to vomit. She had a sour taste in the back of her throat, and an internal anger directed towards herself. 

She shouldn't be jealous.
She shouldn't be hurt.

This was all pretend after all.
All just smoke and mirrors...

Trixie didn't know why she took her phone in hand, nor did she know why her fingers found Katya's contact and pressed call, or why she didn't hang up right away after they had.

Calling...

Calling.....

Calling.......

Nothing.

"Hey, you've reached a Hollywood whore named Katya. If you're a stalker, please fuck off. If you're my agent, please also fuck off. If you're someone else; leave a message or text me."

"Katya... I don't know why you think it's so fun to humiliate me... I-I don't know what I did to deserve it, deserve this... Maybe it's because I'm s-so naive... I thought you'd actually stopped your hurtful pranks and attempts to get me to quit, guess I was j-just being stupid. I'm sure that's what you think.. Stupid, childish, naive, bright-eyed Trixie Mattel. I guess you just waited until they'd filmed enough for firing you to not be an option. That... that's smart, it really is... I hope you got what you wanted... I-I hope it was worth throwing me under the bus." 

With that Trixie hung up, her tears coming down like pouring rain, her sobs so loud that she knew the reporters outside her door could hear her. 

"Let them hear..." she thought. "Let them all hear and write about it until guilt swallows Katya whole."

In a sense Trixie supposed she had no right to feel sorry for herself. After all, they say that if you play with fire, you'll end up getting burned. If you start falling for someone who's known to toy with people, you're gonna end up getting hurt.

She should've expected that this would happen.
It's her own fault for getting hopeful.

Sure, Katya had been sweet and caring when she had something to gain from it. What did that matter? She's an actress, that's her job. Play the part so well that no one will think it's fake.

And she had. 
She had played the part flawlessly.
She had played her role so perfectly that Trixie had started to believe there could be something there.

Katya had been so convincing that the sparkle in her eyes whenever she looked towards Trixie had seemed real. Her kisses had felt like she poured her every emotion into them. Her touch had felt as if she was truly burning with desire.

She had done a flawless performance, and Trixie had gotten caught in the flames of the brightly burning star in the process. Just like a fool she had gotten played by Hollywood's best actress.

Playing with fire will get you burned.
She had only herself to blame.