Smile For The Camera ✔️ ~ trixya

Falling Apart At The Seams

Trixie melted for a moment, and for a moment everything in her world made sense.
For a moment she truly was Katya's girl, and Katya was hers.
For a moment life was as magical as a fairy tale.

But then that moment ended, and she was reminded that this was just another one of Katya's cruel tricks, another manipulative way for the actress to get out of trouble easy.
She didn't care about Trixie, it was all just a game to her, that much was clear now. 

And so Trixie gathered up all her force and pushed the girl away, an uncomfortable emptiness filling her as their lips disconnected. 

"I told you not to fucking touch me." Trixie said in disdain as she pulled the door open forcefully. 

"Trixie, wait! You don't understand!"

"No, you don't understand! Not everyone wants to fucking sleep with you, Katya!" Trixie said before storming out, holding her tears back as she quickly made her way towards the bathroom. 

Once she finally got there she practically ran inside, slamming the door shut behind her before collapsing on the floor with her back pressed against it. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she cursed herself for getting attached and getting herself hurt once again. 

Memories of unwanted touches suddenly flooded her brain.
Images of sleazy businessmen who'd let their hands come between her legs under the table whilst their wives sat there next to them and enjoyed their dinner obliviously. Thousands of conversations and arguments with the CEO of her label replayed in her mind, his condescending statements about her having to accept the realities of showbusiness to make it repeating over and over again. 

She didn't want to think Katya was like them, didn't want to believe that she was just another person in showbusiness who was ready to exploit whoever she felt like for her own gain. 
And yet, her actions now made it hard for Trixie to convince herself that that wasn't exactly who she was. 

In that moment Trixie felt like a little girl again.
Like the little girl with bruised knees, dressed in hand-me-downs, who cried in her room whilst her dad screamed at her mom in the kitchen.
A fragile little Raggedy Ann, ripping at the seams, the patches covering her scars no longer staying on the way they did before.

When did she get so broken?
When had her stuffing started to show?
When had she become the broken doll she now was?

Everyone in the world compared her to a Barbie, but she knew the truth.
Underneath the pink clothes and the heavy makeup, she was just a Raggedy Ann. 

After all, America's sweetheart who always seemed to keep it so together, was truly just a rag doll falling apart at the seams. 

"Trixie?" Katya's familiar voice called out softly as the girl carefully knocked twice on the bathroom door. "Are you in there?"

"Leave me alone." Trixie said through her tears.

"Trix, can you please just let me in? I'll explain everything if you do, I promise... Just let me in, please?" 

Trixie didn't answer at first, instead she just moved forward slightly from the door to allow Katya space to enter before uttering a quiet okay. 

"Hey." Katya said awkwardly as she sat down on the floor opposite Trixie. 

"Hi..." Trixie nearly whispered in response, her knees covering most of her face.

"Listen, I fucked up... I know that, but things really aren't how you think they are.."

"What are they like then?" Trixie asked, raising her head slightly.

"I didn't kiss you to try to deflect or to use you or anything like that. I kissed you because that's what I really wanted to do that night at the bar... That girl... she seriously didn't mean anything to me. I just needed someone... I needed someone because I couldn't have you." 

"W-what?"

"I'm sorry if this makes you more uncomfortable, I really don't want you to be, but it's the truth. I like you, Trixie. You're all I think about these days and that just got so overwhelming that day because I know I don't deserve you. I'm a piece of shit, and you're... well, you're like a fucking angel." Katya said honestly.

"That's not true.. I'm not an angel, I'm just a broken doll." Trixie mumbled.

"No, you're not. You're amazing, Trixie, and I am so sorry that I hurt you, but I really do care about you, more than you could ever know." 

"You really like me?" Trixie asked, still unable to allow herself to believe the words she was hearing.

"I really do." Katya assured her, gently taking Trixie's hands in her own.

Trixie leaned forward quickly, her lips coming into contact with Katya's so briefly that the actress almost didn't register it before it was over. 

"You-"

"I like you too." Trixie said with a shy smile. 

"You like me?" Katya asked in disbelief.

"Mhm." The singer replied with a reassuring nod. "I like you a lot."

"Are you sure? You're not just saying it because I said it and you feel pressured or whatever? Like you really actually-"

Trixie pulled Katya in for a longer kiss then, her lips moving passionately against those of the Hollywood star, her hands finding Katya's hair and pulling on it slightly. Katya's hands found the other girl's waist and she pulled her closer as she released a soft moan, her body filling with electric sparks of a kind which she had never felt before. 

"I'm sure. I like you, Katya." Trixie said once they finally pulled away, a bright smile on her lips.