Why now?

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Why do i feel so much better
Seeing him today?
When it was over last night
Fighting, crying, holding
I felt your love again
For the first time in months
I genuinely wasn't angry
I smiled and it felt good
You held me again
And it felt real
For the first time
In god knows how long
Why couldn't i feel like this
Just one week ago?
Before my fears were proven true
When i watched you lie
Again and again
Why couldn't you
Treat me with love
For this long?
I've watched you
Stop trying for me
Watched your eyes
Grow cold and empty
Felt your love retreating
Watched you start to hate me
Why did you wait
Until the day after
It was over
To say goodbye
To the woman
Who i felt so clearly
Threatened by
For so long?

[4/7/2022]

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