Honey

12. Addiction.

"Dinner? Wow, the guys even gayer than I thought. Where's he taking you?" Sarah pestered me, her nagging bringing on a slight headache. Then it dawned on me. Where was Thomas taking me? He had failed to mention it when our conversation was cut short. I just hoped it wasn't anywhere too fancy as I was broke and didn't want to have to force Thomas to pay. What sort of a first impression would that be?

"I have no idea. It's not like it's a date or anything so it won't be some Michelin star restaurant or anything. Probably just Lana's." Lana's being the only decent place to eat in our shitty town. It was a classic fifty's diner on the outskirts of town. I'd been there a couple times and I had to say, the food was actually ok. Their milkshakes were the real deal though. It was common sense to order one every time you were there. I had tried all of them and I had to say that without a doubt the chocolate was my favourite. Judge me if you will but you haven't experienced real happiness until you've tried one.

"You're thinking about the milkshakes aren't you?"

"Obviously Sarah, what else would I be thinking about?"

"I just don't understand how you can actually like chocol—"

"Don't. You. Dare. Question. Me."

"What are you guys talking about," Lila interrupted our stand off with a confused look on her face. I would have to introduce her to Lana's milkshakes, but I'd just have to make sure Sarah didn't get there first. Strawberry-loving-bitch. Yeah, strawberry's ok, but only as a last resort.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," I mutter, shooting Sarah a quick glare before continuing picking at whatever was on my plate. I think it's lasagne but honestly who knows what it actually is.

My eyes travelled from the sloppy mess on the plate to the table across the cafeteria that I found myself stalking more often than I'd care to admit. My eyes immediately found Thomas who, to my surprise, was staring right back at me. A cheeky grin spread across his face although it clearly wasn't because of some half assed joke one of his buddies told, it was because he'd caught me shamelessly devouring him with my eyes. Yet again.

I was tempted to look away due to the immense amount of embarrassment I felt but fought the urge and continued to stare. His grin only grew wider as he winked at me before clearly, reluctantly tearing his eyes from mine and joining back in on his tables conversation. My heart fluttered as I made sure to savour what had just happened. The fact that all he had to do was wink at me and I'd be on my knees in a heart beat made me seriously question myself.

But who am I kidding. I'm physically a virgin but mentally a whore.

Yes, I am in fact a massive fucking virgin. Call Mary and tell her to pack her shit is all I'm saying. Oh don't act so surprised, I'm a (mostly) closeted gay boy who lives in a town where the not-straightest thing in sight is a fucking roundabout. Plus, I've never really felt that attracted to anyone to actually want to go there. Actually, I'd never even been in a relationship. Unless you count that time I kissed Holly Thorn in the third grade.

Shoutout to Holly for making me realise that girls are not my cup of tea. Turns out she's a lesbian anyways so, no hard feelings.

She was also my first and only kiss. I wasn't gonna risk getting beet to a pulp by a straight guy just because he wanted to kiss me. Hate to break it to you honey but, you're gay. So I never officially came out and never made moves on guys who's closets are twice the size of mine.

But Billy, how do you know you're attracted to men if you've never even kissed one? Good point. I have a simple and effective answer for any of you out there struggling to comprehend my situation.

Tom Holland. Ryan Gosling. Chris Evans.

Any arguments?! Didn't think so.....

Of course, and I know this is gonna sound weird, none of them are anything compared to who?