Feelings On Paper

overthinker

I cannot tell if I'm an empath or truly analyze way too much.

I feel my best friend's hand and I just know she enjoys the breeze and follows it. I know her, though, and although following the breeze and enjoying it, the wind picks up from time to time and it's hard to keep up with it for her. The wind becomes overwhelming and it takes life on it's own, crashing into her before she realizes all she has to do is stop gliding along with it.

I feel his hands and know nothing of his emotions unless he tells me so, but when he tells me so I know there's so much more underneath the surface. I'm fines turn into I'm overthinking and I'm not sure turns into I don't know of how you'll react so I'm indifferent to telling you and I'm not okay turns into the truth.

I hug my mother and feel the stress on her joints, the way her back twists itself straight and makes her legs take the pain. When her hands tremble I know she's anxious, but not just anxious, she's panicking. At times, I hear her voice and I know there's something underneath itching at her, and there are days her silence is louder with If it wasn't for you, I would have killed myself years ago.

I feel it in the air when he looks at me, the way he drags his eyes up and down every time he sees me, as if I'm clueless to his lust and the utter curiosity he has over my body. His voice says nothing of love or caring for someone after all the trusts that have been broken in his life, every part of him is sealed away and he never shares unless asked because of that, whether he admits it or not.

Sometimes I think my brain makes it all up. I'm no expert on these people, no matter what time I've spent with them. But still, I somehow always know when there's something wrong, and know exactly why or have an idea of the source, maneuvering myself to make them feel better each time.