Feelings On Paper

The Joke

I clenched my teeth and forced a smile on,
told everyone everything was okay,
for your sake.

Laughed and joined in on conversations,
showed everyone I was okay,
for your sake.

I cried and puked in the bathroom,
returned with a fixed face,
and a fake smile.

A joke was said and I thought it to be just that,
a joke.

People asking if you cheated or mistreated me,
I'd shake my head and say no.

When people asked I kept it light,
spoke nothing but kind words of you.

I made light conversation with you,
told you I was okay,
for your sake.

Caught you up on the little things,
showed you I was okay,
for your sake.

In return,
you went back to our co worker,
the one you lied so much about.

I found out the truth and still didn't hold it against you,
still tried to reason why,
made excuses for you.

What was a joke ended up being a masked truth,
the laughter made sense,
in that moment you slipped up.

Everyone's eyes landed on me,
it dawned on me then,
I was the joke.

Everyone knew except me,
everyone was laughing at me.

The humiliation I felt,
that disheartening feeling,
my entire body sagged and my heart sank.

That's why nobody invited me out that night
That's why everyone treated me like a child
That's why no one wanted to talk to me anymore

That's how little of respect you have for me,
making me the joke everyone could laugh at.