JK-01 [vkook]

40: worry

"And then he ran off, i haven't found him anywhere" Taehyung said now, no longer crying from panic. After searching for Jungkook for hours he decided to head home and call Namjoon and Jimin over. He explained the whole thing to Namjoon. from how happy Jungkook was until the moment he ran off.

"I think he is struggling with himself. He is so used to being that violent person, he doesn't want to and that is making him conflicted and scared. I think today he got overwhelmed and scared which caused him to run away from anything reminding him." Namjoon said. "I think he will return eventually when he's cooled down"

"No, I have to find him. what if he does something to himself, what if he's scared?" Taehyung feels so worried for the other, he wants to know if Jungkook is okay, where he is and when he will come back.

"Do you know where he could have gone to?" Jimin asked. supporting his friend in finding jungkook.

"I have already checked those places, he wasn't there.'' Taehyung knows Jungkook is good at hiding, it was part of his life. He was afraid that finding Jungkook would be impossible.

"You can try to search but I think he needs some tie. he will come home, he loves you. you are literally everything to him, he's told me so many times. he won't just disappear Tae''

"yea..thats true" the youngest sighed and slumped back in the seat. "i'm just so worried"

"I think he can take care of himself if something happens. You know, because of all that"

"i know. but i don't want him to. he's been doing so well, what if he will fall back to his old self. He was showing such progress."

Namjoon kept silent. He realized something now. But he can't share it yet with anyone until Jungkook allows him too. Namjoon can only share the things Jungkook allowed him. But this was important. how could he have been so blind? How did he not notice... Jungkook was such a good liar.. He looked so good, he looked so normal. but in reality Jungkook was just lying to everyone. He was not healing from anything, it was only getting worse....

"I have to go now, please let me know if he is okay or not." Namjoon said, standing up. He had to check their last sessions and notes. Now he knew what the problem was he had to think about.

-

After Namjoon left Jimin had to eventually go home too. even if he insisted on staying with his best friend. But Taehyung told him to get his rest, Jimin had to work the next day. He didn't want to exhaust Jimin with this, so the older went home. Leaving Taehyung alone who couldn't close an eye. His eyes were wide open staring into his dark room. his ears perked for any noise of Jungkook maybe coming home finally.

Where could he be? Will he return tonight? tomorrow? even later?

he had no idea and it was stressing him out. He sighed and rolled on his back debating if he should go out once more to look for him.

"Where would I even go...I checked everywhere.." Taehyung sighed and his eyes teared up. "just..be okay please"

Taehyung was so lost in his thoughts that he didnt notice he had fallen asleep. His dreams welcomed him. But not happy dreams in his dream it was dark. Even in his dream he cant find Jungkook. Taehyung was so afraid to lose him, after all that happened he just wants the best for the younger. But right now things were ruined, what they worked for was suddenly broken apart from one single act.

He thought everything was doing good, did he miss something? Why did Jungkook run from him there? Taehyung wanted to understand but things only led to more questions.

The older was slowly waking from something. There were noises in his room. but his mind wanted to go back to sleep. He was fading back to the dark void of dreams when he suddenly realized what sound he was hearing.

crying?

Taehyung's eyes opened and he turned his head, a figure sat next to the bed leaning its head against taehyung's hand wich was being held in two warm hands.

"Jungkook?....." he asked softly before sitting up but not taking his hand back. He let the younger hold onto it. tears slipping through their fingers wetting the bed sheets.

"I-im s-sorry '' Jungkook said, not looking up, he kept his head down against taehyung's hand. "I-im sorry for l-lying. f-for pretending..."

"you don't have to be sorry...why are you apologizing?"

"I made it seem like i-i was better. b-but im not...i-im in pain, im sad...i-i...."

"Its okay, please. don't blame yourself for anything." Taehyung said feeling sad about what Jungkook said. He pulled his hand away but only to bring the raven into a hug. He held his head against his chest and stroking the black locks, he let the other cry out.

When Jungkook's tears had stopped falling Taehyung turned on the light and looked at the other. Sighing when he noticed the puffy eyes avoiding eye contact and shaking hands. again, the shaking came back.

"what happened to your hands?" Taehyung asked, taking one in his hands. Seeing the bloody knuckles mixed with sand.

"i..." jungkook shut his lips not sure how to tell him. but he promised to be honest. "they wouldn't stop shaking.....the voices won't stop. He wanted me to kill but I didn't want to. but my hands....the shaking wouldn't stop, so i began to hit the wall.... it didn't work"

"oh Koo....'' Taehyung was worried the raven might do something like this. luckily it was only his hands and he didn't do anything worse. "Lets clean them in the bathroom. i don't want you to get them infected"

"okay"

"I will grab the aid kit from the kitchen. wait for me in the bathroom alright?"

"okay"

Jungkook stood up folding his shaking hands in an attempt to make it stop. But when it didn't he sighed frustrated and punched the door leaving a bloody print on the paint. Jungkook doesn't know what to do anymore. His lie had been revealed and now he felt so exposed. He felt vulnerable. He tried to look better for taehyung, jungkook tried so hard to pretend. hoping he would feel better too but it didn't work at all. He doesn't know what to do now or how to act. He felt lost. 

---

koo :( 

also were now going towards the ending now. not ending really soon, dont worry. 

thank you for reading, see you in the next chapter!

🌼🌼🌼