Hearts on Fire

Chapter 28

*TW: mention of self harm
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Staring out your bedroom window, you notice that it has been locked. Slowly getting up from your bed and flicking the clasp to unlock it.

There was a knock on the door and turning to look and just hearing your mom's voice from the outside. "Y/N? Sweetie, can you let me in? Please sweetie, you've been locked in for the last three days. I know you're hurting but, you need to come out. You need to eat, open the door. Y/N?" Crawling back into bed and crying into your pillow as she continued to knock and beg for you to open the door. You didn't want to see anyone, after being discharged from the hospital you locked yourself in your room and haven't come out sense. The heartbreak that you have for losing Eddie, you felt like the pain in your chest wouldn't go away no matter how much you cried.

There was another knock at the door,"Go away!" You yelled in hopes that your mom would leave you alone but again the knock continued. Frustrated, you get up from the bed and open the door only to find Steve not your mom.

"Steve? What are you doing here? Go away." You said to him as you tried to close the bedroom door but with his hand he stopped it from closing completely. "Y/N, wait. You can't keep doing this, you can't keep locking yourself in here. I know you must feel horrible from losing him but you have to continue living. Your mom is worried. I'm worried. All of your friends are worried!" Hearing Steve nag made you angry, he wasn't the one who lost the love of his life."What do you know?! What do you know?! You don't know anything! You don't know how I feel! Let me tell you. I feel like my heart is broken into a thousand pieces. I feel like my heart no longer beats the same. I feel like no matter how much I breathe, I am not getting enough air into my lungs. I feel like a hole has been punched through my chest and the pain just keeps getting worse. I feel like a part of me is gone... A part of ME is gone. He's gone... Gone, Steve..." Staring at him with tears in your eyes and all he did was stare back. "Don't ever. Tell me how I feel or how I should be feeling because no matter how long, this will never go away... I lost him, Steve. I lost the love of my life. This was our year you know? We were supposed to graduate together, live together, start a family together..." your voice started to become scratchy as the knot in your throat started growing. Taking a deep breath you turned to look outside your window and feeling Steve's hand on your shoulder. "Max is still the same, she hasn't woken up yet. We're hopeful that at some point she will, Lucas won't leave her side. Some of our old friends have come back, even the girl that has superpowers that I told you once about. They would love to meet you, Robin told them all about you. Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, we're all worried for you. We miss Eddie too."

You didn't say anything, just kept on staring out the window hoping that it was all just a sick game and Eddie would come and climb in through the window. You fiddled with Eddie's ring that was on your finger, staring at the color that has not changed since you put it on. They say black is the color of sorrow and you believed it to be true since that was the color that remained on the ring.

Turning to face Steve,"We're moving... Since Hawkins is no longer safe to live mom said it is best to leave for a fresh start. Florida with my grandparents..." Feeling his arms wrap around you, you placed your head in his chest and held him close. The two of you just stood there holding each other for a bit until you pulled away,"I guess it would be nice to get out of this room for a little bit, would like to see Max and everyone else." Steve smiled down at you,"Great, I'll wait in the car for you." He exited the room and you turned to look in the mirror, you were a mess.

Walking out the room to the bathroom you turned the shower knob and let the water run while you brushed your teeth. Feeling the temperature of the water you started to undress and stepped into the shower. As the warm water droplets hit your body you closed your eyes and let it hit your face. The warmth of the water made you think of Eddie and his touch. The way he would gently roam his fingers down your arms and press his chest against your back...Holding onto your arms at the thought, it felt real. Opening your eyes you just blankly stared at the shower wall and just stood there as the water kept on flowing, hearing a knock on the door you came back into reality. "Sweetie? Are you alright in there?" Yelling back a fine to your mom and finished showering.

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Looking out the car window counting all the trees that you passed by, you closed your eyes and started drifting off to sleep. After a bit you felt the car come to a complete stop, turning your head to look at Steve,"Where are we?" He didn't say anything and just got out of the car.

Opening the passenger door for you, you unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car. Looking around just seeing trees and a wooden cabin,"Steve, seriously where are we?" Taking your hand and the two of you walked towards the cabin, he knocked and the door opened. Stepping inside there were a lot of unfamiliar faces until you saw Robin who ran up to you and hugged you. "I'm so glad you're here. I was so worried." Once she pulled away she started pointing and calling out the names of everyone that was there,"and finally this is Eleven," she pointed to a young girl with buzzed hair who was holding hands with Mike. "The one with the superpowers you guys said? She's your girlfriend? How did you pull her, Mike?" Questioning as you stared at both of them and everyone in the room laughed. "I-I'm sorry about Eddie. I know you two loved each other a lot." Mike said to you and whispered a thank you quickly wiping the tears that were forming in your eyes. "Come on, I want to show you something." Steve placed a hand on your back and the both of you walked outside the cabin and into the woods.

Noticing that you were getting farther away from the cabin you got worried,"Steve, where are you taking me?" Tugging on his hand a little but he just said to continue walking and that you were almost there. A few minutes later you stopped walking and were now in a beautiful empty green meadow and saw butterflies around. "Over here," Steve guided you to a spot in the meadow where there was a wooden cross made from tree branches, looking down on it you felt tears forming in your eyes. Falling to your knees knowing what it was.

"Eddie.." Continuing to cry as you saw what they had left for him as a memory,"I'll give you a moment..." Steve walked away and you took a deep breath to try and control your crying. "Eddie... I miss you. So much. You have no idea what it feels like to not have you around... I miss seeing your face. I miss looking into your eyes. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile..." Sniffling you tried to compose yourself,"No matter what anyone in this town thinks, you're a hero. No matter what they say in the news or what people in this town say, you did nothing wrong! I mean, you weren't much of an angel but," pausing as you laughed to yourself,"but you weren't a criminal, didn't commit a single crime. The only crime you did commit was steal my heart... You fought to save this town when this town didn't even believe in you. Although, a part of me wishes you hadn't done it. I wish you were still here. With me. You promised me... Baby, we were supposed to go away and start a life together. Now that you're gone, I don't know what to think of my future... I tried. I tried to go in hopes to go wherever you may be but mom caught me..." Again you took a pause and wiped your tears with your long sleeve shirt. "She stopped me before I could come and visit you, I was so angry at her Ed. I cried in her arms in anger and despair until I fell asleep. I locked myself in my room after that... I just don't feel the same anymore. You made me feel safe and loved... Eddie, I miss you so much. I just wish I could hold you and kiss you one last time..." Taking a moment that's when you lost yourself. Bursting in tears and they wouldn't stop no matter how much you tried.

Feeling a hand on your shoulder, looking up to see Steve. He helped you up off the ground and you hugged him, crying into his chest.  "I'm sorry... I didn't know that you tried," he stopped himself.
"When I saw you being dragged away, I was afraid. Luckily Robin was able to reach and grabbed a hold of the ax, she cut through everything and we ran after you. Looking everywhere around the house until seeing all those vines wrapped around your body. I-I thought you were dead...." Hearing Steve's voice crack, you hugged him tighter,"Thank you, for saving me." He sniffled and pulled away from the hug. "Come on, let's go."