Harry had been the first boyfriend to ever have sex with you and you were still pretty new to it. Yes Harry made you feel exceptionally good but you weren't sure if you made him feel as good as you felt. He never commented or confirmed about how he felt when you tried to pleasure him which did eventually begin triggering your insecurities.
"Harry can we talk..?" You ask, sitting down beside him on the couch. "Yeah sure love what's wrong?" He replies, not looking away from his phone. "Harry am I good enough for you? Like in bed?" you bit your lip as you spoke. "Yeah." He replied, getting back to his phone. "That's it? Yeah?" you ask, folding your hands. "Uh, yeah. What else am I supposed to say?" He asked, looking at your face for the first time those 15 minutes. "The truth? Harry?" you say, sort of annoyed at his behavior.
Just then his phone rang. "Sorry love gotta take this." He said and hurried in the balcony to talk. You sighed and stepped into the kitchen to make him a cup of coffee. As you walked to the balcony to hand him his cup, you heard him speak shallowly. "Camille is a competition Louis. She knew what she was doing.. Y/N.. is not the best in bed.. but I don't want to tell her.. she's just new to it." On hearing Camille's name and the fact that he was comparing you to her, hurt you the most.
You knew you weren't all that he needed but you tried and being compared to his ex for the first time you tried something was not the kind of demotivation you needed. This was the most insecure you ever felt about yourself. You rushed into the room you and Harry shared and shut the door, crying against the closet. You decided to get changed into a fresh pair of clothes and sleep it out, hoping you didn't have to see Harry's face until the next day.
A few minutes later, Harry snuggled up next to you in bed, kissing your neck and finding his way up your shorts. "Harry, no" You say, turning away from him. "Why baby?" He asked, his hand still lingering near your panties, thumb drawing circles on your thighs. "Please." You say, voice cracking slightly enough for Harry to notice. "Baby are you crying?" He asked, perking himself up on his elbow. You wipe your tears and say, "No. Go to sleep Harry it's late."
He turns you over and rolls his body onto yours. "I wont sleep until I know what's bothering my baby." He said, kissing your cheek and finding his way to your neck. "You don't like my body do you.. you don't like how I am in bed.. I look fat and ugly and I'm nowhere close to what Camille made you feel. Am I right? I can't have sex with you Harry. I can't have myself be a target of a story you're telling your best friend where I'm not good enough in bed for you. I could never compete to Camille and if you don't like me for it I understand if you want me gone." You say, getting off of bed.
"Fuck baby no I'm so sorry I didn't mean that.. I love you so much.. no girlfriend of mine has or ever will compare to you baby.. I'm sorry you heard that.. you're beautiful baby you're beautiful in bed and it's just your first time baby I'll guide you through every step I promise.. Just please, please don't feel like that.. I'm sorry for comparing you to Camille.. honestly nobody can compare to you.. I love you and your body and everything you do for me baby you're the best girlfriend I'll ever have.. I'm so sorry." He says, voice cracking, walking closer to you.
"I love you too.." you reply, falling into his embrace. He kisses you on the forehead and places you on bed. "I'm still not ready for sex yet.. can we just cuddle today please? You ask, tears slipping down your cheeks. "Okay beautiful.. anything for you." He replies, kissing your forehead gently. "I'm so so sorry.. You're the only one I ever want." He whispers as you shut your eyes and fall asleep to the warmth of the tears trickling down your cheek.
