Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

8.) Breathing

Troyes POV

Since that day when I walked through the city with tears running down my face. It has been a back and forth game with my mind.

Every time I seem to grow more fond of Connor, Tyler seems to ruin it for me. I have tried so hard to forget about him, I'm starting to think its not possible. How much more can I do other than not speaking to him, and not tweeting anything about him?

No matter what I do my mind always seems to come back to Tyler and it's exhausting. All I want in the world is to not want him. And it seems to me the infatuation has only grown stronger. Tyler actually loved me.

A big part of me wishes he wasn't too late. But I know he wasn't the one that ruined our relationship. It was all me. I'm the one that couldn't see that Tyler in fact had strong feelings for me, and I'm the one that left him.

Today I was gonna see Tyler for the first time since I left him in Los Angeles. Anxious and scared were all I felt.

Finally I arrived in New York and headed for the hotel. The air got too thick from my heavy breathing and sweating. Maybe there was a huge chance I was too nervous.

" Sir can you pull over, please." I spoke panting and holding my neck. He looked in the mirror before pulling off to the side. I threw more then enough money up at him and nearly fell out of the car.

I struggled to catch not only my breath but my balance. Thankfully, I made my way to the sidewalk without finding out what New York City street taste liked.

The smell of the city stung my nose as the strong scents overwhelmed me. My throat hurt from being sick, so I didn't think staying in a hot taxi would help.

Walking slowed my heart rate and seemed to cause my anxious mood to chill a bit.

Seeing Tyler is gonna be fine. My feelings will stay the same, and my heart will still belong to Connor.

A fan screamed my name and a smile appeared on my face. I of course agreed to a picture knowing that there isn't a chance in the world that I would deny. The girl smiled when the picture was taken and a loud scream of a familiar voice had my head turning. The voice belonged to a certain Hannah Hart.

And there he was, standing next to them. Cuter than ever. His hair looked utterly perfect along with the rest of his body. I swear he gets more attractive everyday and that seemed impossible because he was already incredibly breathtaking.

Hugging both Hannah and Grace I looked at him and almost broke down.

I reached out and connected our bodies for the first time since that night and I whispered something I have been dying to tell him. "I missed you Tilly!"

" I missed you too Troye!" He said almost to easily.

I let out a giggle at the singing fan. I would never admit it but It was comforting to have her be excited about our friendship.

" How are you?" Tyler asked, obviously trying to strike up a conversation to get out of this awkward mood. I never thought that Tyler and I would actually have a awkward moment in our friendship but I guess admitting your love to each other and then never speaking again could defiantly add a bit of tension.

" I'm alright I think. My throat hurts a bit but other than that I'm excited to see everyone."

" Do you want to go get some tea for your throat before we go?" He asked his kind nature kicking in. Why did I leave again? Oh yeah I remember.

I nodded but was still thinking about everything. I wanted nothing more than to forget these feelings and just pretend that we were best friends again. How could I have two people that mean so much to me, and have to choose one? It's unfair. God can you please send me a sign to tell me what to do?

And in that moment Tyler looked at me and my heart started to shutter. His eyes were trained on mine and his smile was truly magical. There are a lot of things I've missed about this boy, but his smile was one of the top. When he smiled I felt a type of comfort I have never felt. It gave me strength to move forward.

We arrived at the Tea Place and I got A green tea to help with my throat. Although it wasn't gonna cure it, the warm sensation when I sipped was better than nothing.

Tyler and I walked through the city, chatting about little things we have missed out on. Everytime he looked at me and smiled I wanted to leap into his arms.

When we got in the elevator to the hotel I wanted nothing more than to spend more time with him. Would it be bad if I asked? Connor wouldn't be upset, would he?

" I really missed you Ty. Do you think we could ever be like we used to?" I proclaimed with fear. The fact that I was nervous when speaking to Tyler, was something I didn't want to feel again.

" I'm not sure. The fans will probably get a little to much." He answered honestly.

A bit of anger filled me. " I don't care anymore. I'm so tired of this, all I want is to be able to hangout with my friends without thinking we are dating." I paused to take in air. " I know they are not trying to make me uncomfortable, but sometimes it's taken to far."

"Don't let it get to you Troye." He waved then disappeared. I didn't get to ask him if he wanted to hangout. I have never seen someone leave so quickly in my life. He must really not want to be around me.

I need to try my best to avoid the boy that lost feelings for me, at all costs.

Well this is gonna be such a fabulous internet party.