Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

18.) After

Troye POV

It was the day after my birthday and tonight I was clubbing with my friends. I needed to get my mind off of that boy and I vowed to myself to do so.

Connor, Kayla and a couple other friends joined me on this adventure. And although grateful, I still wish Tyler was the one coming with me tonight.

Hunters Cabin 19 was the name of the club that we were going too. The age limit being 19 and finally I didn't just barely make it, I was 20 freaking years old.

--

Drink after drink, soon enough I was more then what I would call as Tipsy. Connor found a boy to chat with and I was drunk enough to be in the middle dancing with a group of other boys.

The boy who grinded on my side was very attractive. His black quiff and scuff on his face, had my lip in between my teeth. And guess what I did, kissed him.

It felt nothing like Tylers kisses, but it was still pleasurable. Sloppily he shoved his tongue in my mouth and I was physically not able to oppose so he continued sucking the life out of my mouth. Until I pushed him off and continued dancing.

Boy 2, was a darker skinned male who was nicely built. Shaved hair and nice teeth. Easily attractive but not really my type. Anyhow I connected our lips.

Still it wasn't the same. Not even letting it continue, I pulled away.

Lastly the man who was grabbing at my butt, reminded me of Tyler from his colored hair and pale skin, but that's where it ended. Nobody could come close to him.He was simply too unique. And fuck did I want to be with him.

The guy figured out my plan and grabbed onto my neck and latched his mouth on mine. We stayed still testing the waters. And even thinking about it possibly being better then Tylers, it made me sick. So like earlier I ended the kiss.

Waving to the boys I went to find my friends and thankfully Kayla was alone. She had a cheeky smile and lifted her drink in admiration. I rolled my eyes at her gesture.

" Busy weren't you." She teased taking a small lick of her lemon. Her face scrunched up, then she dropped it in the glass.

" You could say that. Trying to forget I suppose." I admitted. The day I came back, I explained to her all about Tyler and her happiness was over the moon. Everyone and their mother shipped Troyler, including myself secretly.

"You can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that it's him.." Kayla explained.

" I'm not pretending it's him, I'm trying to forget."

A gentle smile appeared on her face and she kissed my cheek. " Don't try forgetting what you want so bad to remember.."

--

My eyes felt heavy and my head pounded when I finally opened my eyes. Arms crossed as my body laid on its side staring at the boy in my bed. Connor laid there with all his clothing on, as well as I. Not even able to explain how thankful I am. Probably just a overall long night and he forgot to go to the guest room.

I rolled over so I wasn't creepily looking at him anymore and almost screamed at the sight. There was a open condom wrapper and the box tipped all over the floor. My clothes from last night were flung across the room and you better believe I lost my cool. Did I have sex with Connor while I was drunk??

If that was the case I would have a absolute melt down. I'm not gonna make the mistake again of leading Connor on, or pursing in any sexual relations with anyone other then Tyler.

Tyler. Will he care? What if he is hurt that I would do this with Connor? He won't think I am over him, when I am a hundred percent. Shit.. What have I done.

" Con?" I spoke regretting waking him up. But this was too important to wait.

He hummed in reply and I continued. "Did we have sex last night."

His eyes fluttered open and he glanced over at me. "What?"

" Did we have sex last night." I repeated.

To be totally honest even if he did I hope he lied. I don't think I could forgive myself if I did this with him. Not again.

" I think so.." He said suddenly and I physically felt sick. I tried everything in my power to not throw up. " Troye we were drunk it was a mistake."

" I know. I just thought even in those moments I could still say no. Imagine if Tyler and I were still dating."

Connor looked away then. " But your not so don't worry about it." He spoke smiling.

But why did I still feel like I was a cheater. Tyler had made it very clear that I was aloud to just experiment and date but I told myself I wouldn't. Instead it seemed like that's the first thing I did. And not even with a stranger.

I had to tell him. Even if it would make him upset. I just couldn't stand the thought of lying or hiding the truth. He's my bestfriend.

I walked out of the room and dialed the familiar number. Within three rings, the boy answered.

" Hello Troye. How are you?" He said in his happy voice. I heard people talking in the background and music playing. Maybe he was at a club or something.

" Good. Where are you?"

Hearing footsteps and a door shut, Tyler spoke again. " At a radio interview. I talked about you actually. Apparently the fans wanted to know if we were dating."

" and I'm guessing you said no."

I heard him sigh. " Troye.."

" No Tyler, it's okay. Well anyways I called to check up on you. Just see how you are doing."

I don't know why but I couldn't tell Tyler. I didn't do anything wrong. We weren't dating and Tyler had told me to sleep around. But it just didn't feel right, At all.

" Okay. I have to go now. Goodbye Troye." I waited for the three words that we used to say. The words that I grew obsessed with. They never did come though.

" Goodbye Tyler."

Something didn't feel right. It could have been the fact that I didn't tell Tyler. Or that I was kissing other men. It most defiantly also could have been that I forgot to call him Tilly. I actually forgot. And that hurt in a completely new way.

Authors Note: 6-26-15 America legalized gay marriage. I cried from happiness and am so extremely happy for everyone that this effects. #LoveWins.

Also sorry for the lost wait to update. Things got carried away with my babysitting and junk. Anyways I love you. Thankyou soooo much for my 1.5k reads. It's means the entire world to me. Tell me what you think of it so far.. Idk what I'm doing?