Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

11.)Horrible Decision

Tyler's POV.

" You are deciding this not me. If I leave here, I'm not coming back. This is the end." Troye cried out. My heart sank and I almost ran into his arms and planted my lips on his, but I couldn't.

I continued to tell myself that I was doing this for him, and he would be happier with Connor. That's the only thing pushing me forward.

" Goodbye. " I barely was able to speak. My heart and lungs couldn't take it. I was actually unable to breath. And my heart was about ready to explode. Not in the good way either.

Troye left and I slammed my body against the door and placed my head in my hands and began making a familiar river. Although I felt like I was doing the right thing. It felt wrong in Every way. I've had my heart broken before and this hurt much worse. Explaining the pain I felt was impossible.

The air from the window blew through the hotel room freezing my body from head to toe. I could care less though because dying of hypothermia didn't seem like such a bad idea right now. But I knew that wouldn't escape this pain. Truly I don't think I'll ever forget this.

I wanted it to be him. I wanted it to be him so badly. My heart knew it was him, but my brain didn't. The lust coming from my heart was almost enough to distract my brain away from the important stuff. Not hurting two people. That seemed to be my only concern now. Vowing to myself I wouldn't break my promise.

After hours of crying at the door I finally got enough strength to push myself to the bed and lay there. The breeze ran chills down my body, but it was a refreshing pain.

My eye lids grew heavier and it was almost impossible to stay awake. But I was afraid what would happen if I let sleep take over. Would my horrible decision take over my dream, or would I just be stuck in a oblivion.

===

The days that went by after that were not special in any way. Not only did they go by slow, I was left thinking about a 19 year old boy who held my heart. Wishing that I could hold his was a new thought that overtaken me.

I wonder if Connor kisses his nose and tells him that he loves him. If he explains that Troyes eyes were bluer than the ocean and defiantly the most beautiful he has ever seen. When he tells Troye that nothing in the world could be more stunning than him, does he believe him? I know I would make him believe me. He's the object of my desire. And for once, it seemed like I was his. Until I wasn't.

That might be the worst pain I have ever felt. I knew what Troye was saying the other night wasn't true. He needed someone that could be there the way that I wasn't. It wouldn't be fair, to devote to someone who clearly wasn't enough for a angel.

I was more than excited to head back to LA where I could be comforted by my apartment. It seemed easier to think when I was alone. Little by little I was taking more time alone than usual. To be quite honest it was nice.

" Tyler Oakley?" A little voice came from behind me on the plane. She looked maybe 12 or 13. But who am I to be guessing ages when I look far from what age I really look.

" Yes, How are you?" I asked the girl in a YouTuber sweatshirt. I think from Thatssojack.

" I'm 14." She said suddenly. The memories rushed back from the Pottery video. A ache in my chest appeared and I was left speechless. Finally words came, that I didn't expect to come out.

" Your a grandmother."

Her lips turned into a bright smile, and the once pale cheeks turned pink. We took a selfie before she sat back down and I finally regained normal breathing.

Unfortunately I couldn't watch Troyes videos or collabs with us two, when a Troyler shipper was sitting behind me probably watching my every move. Instead i stalked my fans and spoke to some making their day.

Although some things are said that may hurt my feelings, I know that my people want what's best for me. And that's all that matters. I am truly so thankful for these weirdos. Love them with all my heart.
-
Sometimes when I fall asleep, I just let myself dream about being with Troye. It feels good to be able to call him mine. Even if it's just on a occasion when my thoughts take over my sleep life.

My problem is I usually try to fight being with Troye in my dreams. Waking up feeling guilty, almost ruins the happiness it gave me. Constantly I have to remind myself that he is Connor. Do you think that Connor would mind if I had one last happy dream? I hope not.

" Tilly." I heard him yell down the hall.

I replied to the lost boy. " Troye babe, I'm down here. Talking to some fans!"

" I cant breathe." A girl admitted with a straight face. My father like behavior kicked in.

" Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?" I asked touching her shoulder reassuringly.

" No just Otp feels." The other replied in the speechless girls honor. The one with the breathing struggles glanced at me with the biggest smile on her face.

Suddenly hands wrapped around my eyes and I blushed under his warmth. His presence distracted me from the screaming girls.

" Guess Who?" His accent seeped through his voice. My smile grew impossibly bigger.

" My Troye." I said out loud laughing at the fans still on high about the two of us. You would think after being together for 2 years, they would calm down about us going cannon. But winners can't be choosers.

His mouth got close to my ear and I could feel his hot breath against my skin. His whisper was overly taunting. " I prefer My amazing Boyfriend but considering you claimed me as yours, I'll let this slide."

Biting my lip, I turned to the side and pecked Troye on the side of his mouth. I remembered the three fans standing before me and my cheeks turned pink.

" You guys know Troye right? I teased gently tapping his face like I do in my videos.

" Ye-"

" No I'm afraid we don't. Who is he to you?" The oldest girl interrupted the two others. Obviously wanting to milk Troyler for what it was. Clever girl!

" This is Troye and we are just friends?" Referring to the four words the fandom used to hate more than anything. It started wars and broke friendships. Glad I could be apart of such a devastating era.

" Not what you said last night." Troye sassed suddenly. My mouth dropped in absolute shock and I couldn't believe that came out of his mouth. Completely not him, but in a way it was a total turn on.

" Troye Sivan." I hissed jokingly.

" Tyler Oakley." He challenged.

" Troyler." The girls said all together.

We finished with selfies and started walking to our apartment.

" Your my everything you know that. I love you with every second of my life Troye."

" I can't even describe how much I love you Tyler Oakley... Tyler Oakley.. Tyler Oakley." Why is he saying my name over again.

The shaking of my shoulder had my eyes shooting open. Oh yeah it was just a dream.

Classic.

Authors Note: YOU GUYS I HIT 300 reads!! I'm so thankful i can't even explain. I never thought I would get this much reads on a little story I wrote at 12:00 at night. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou xx