Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

24.) Tearing My Heart Out

Troyes POV

I felt my ribs crack and every bone inside my body break. I couldn't breathe not matter how hard I tried.. it was never gonna happen.

I swear I could feel every layer of my heart being pulled away. Then being drowned in that hydrogen peroxide to make sure there wasn't any infections that could happen. Except I wanted to have a infection. Because maybe that would feel better then the way I did right now.

I could hear screaming. High pitched screaming that could break glass. The screaming was mixed with sobs and yelling the word over again. Anger filled inside me, because nobody could possibly feel worse then I did right now, but I figured out the screaming belonged to me. And I didn't think it would ever stop.

Arms latched onto my body, pulling me away from the door. I was the one that had to answer the door, me of all people. Struggling, I tried to rip whoever had their grasp on me away, without success. Life was unfair, but never did I think it would be this cruel.

I couldn't say the words. Not yet. They couldn't be true. This was too impossible to be true.

Soon enough the arms won over and carried me away from the door. I saw the look on the police man, who had just told me the worst news of my life, and he had the audacity to let a tear fall from his eyes. Luckily he would be able to stop, I honestly I didn't think I would ever be able to.

The sound of running water filled my ears when I realized I had been taken into my bathroom. A shower? Really? That would just wash all the pain away. Could they not see that I was broken.

The tears on my fathers face feel onto my arm and I couldn't help but cry harder. I hadn't seen him cry in a long time, so it was surprising seeing that much liquid fall from him eyes.

Lightly, he set me down into the bath and I had kicked into the air begging to get away. I needed to get out of this, it's not gonna help. Just then, the water had covered my whole body. It wasn't warm, it was in fact freezing cold. I couldn't be bothered though. It didn't matter to me. Nothing could ever hurt me the way I was just ripped from my life. My whole future didn't matter anymore.

My face sunk under the water and I listened to the Fossett run between my sobs and screams. My hands were over my face and I desperately tried to hold myself under the water not wanting to come up for air. Would I be blessed enough to leave.

How could a world so filled with people and monsters take my one happines? My one person. They took my universe away in less then a second and now they expect me to live in a dark useless piece of land. They should have taken me instead. Maybe he would have been strong enough to live without me.

I didn't feel my brother tugging at my body. I didn't see the look on his face. I didn't hear him screaming for my father. I didn't.

I did feel the emptiness in my heart finally seep in. I did see blurriness come into sight. I did hear myself screaming so hard my throat became raw. I did.

I had lost my Tilly. My world. My heart. My soulmate. And I didn't know what else to live for.

Authors Note: Don't hate me.

--

I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. Water had been rushing down my face so hard, my pillow was completely damp. The sound of my heart beating scared me considering it was running a marathon.

" Troye. What's wrong." A voice filled my ears.

" Tilly. Where's Tilly." I panted.

Arms wrapped around me and I almost pushed them away until, he spoke, " I'm right here. Troye it's okay I'm right here."

I glanced over and saw Tyler's worried face. I saw tears in his eyes and it crushed me to whiteness.

" I love you so much Ty. please don't ever leave me. " I begged pushing myself into his chest. Heat radiated off his body and probably mine as well.

" I won't. I promise. I love you too. I love you so much it hurts."

==*Flashback*==

Silently I jogged down the stairs, to answer the door. Thinking it was the mail, and I was expecting something.. I hurried. Even skipping the last two steps, and almost getting way to friendly with the floor.

I whipped open the door to someone other then the mailman. There he stood in all his beauty, or more like his backside. I was utterly shocked. He had a suitcase In his hand.

" Tilly." I croaked. I was surprised by my own voice escaping my mouth but I was glad I did when he turned on his heel to face me.

Our eyes met. I watched him swallow hard enough to see his Adam Apple bob to the act. " Troye.. I."

I stopped him by reaching up and holding out a finger telling him to pause. I slammed the door shut and glanced at him again before taking a risk. I brought my lips to his and flung one arm on his shoulder and the other using it to pull him closer by his cheek. I loosen my grib and just ghost my hand over it, just thankful enough to feel his presence.

His lips were soft and breath was minty. I had bit his lip lightly asking for entry so I could deepen the kiss. He not only allowed but pulled me impossibly closer by using his hands that were around my waist. Our tongues danced together and I may have accidentally Moaned in his mouth. But the small hum he gave in approval showed he didn't mind. Fireworks were a understatement to the happiness I felt. Nothing could describe this feeling. It was like all hope you ever lost on anything, pored into this kiss and caused the world to shake. The surging tide of warmth that left me Limp. I had clung to him like he was the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting my shaking lips, sending long tremors around my nerves. It was the most amazing kiss I had ever felt. And I never wanted it to stop.

Tyler had pulled away just barely, so our foreheads were touching. He began to speak. " I'm sorry. For leaving, for running, hiding. You are my everything and I can't believe I was ever stupid enough to say you could be with someone else. Because if you let me. I want to be yours, forever. As long as you'll allow me. I want to know what it's like to wake up every morning with the love of your life lying next to you. I want to look forward to the day I get to kneel on one knee and beg you to marry me. I want to raise children with you Troye. And I know your 20. You have so much more to live for and if you want me to wait, I will. But, I want.. No, I need you."

His body shook intensely. I smiled at what he said, because it was all that I ever wanted to hear and more. " Tyler, Tilly, Ty. Every day I spend without you is a day that I wish I will never have to go back to. You give me my happiness and everything more. I can't imagine my life with anybody but you. So waiting isn't worth it. Because I'll choose you. I choose you, I choose you, over and over and over again. without a doubt, without a pause, in a heartbeat. I choose you. We are soulmates remember."

" How could I ever forget."

Authors Note: This chapter was the definition of shit. It was a complete shit sandwich. This story is just shit. I'm sorry it's my first one so maybe the next one I write will be good. Anyways I'm trash but thanks for reading friends. I love you so much.

Oh and yeah btw I almost did kill Tyler. Yeah yikes I know. It's 1:11 am when I am writing this and I had a really bad day. I was thinking how good it would have been if like Tyler from the last chapter said it in a coma before he died.. Idk. But I decided against it considering, I didn't really wanna end this story yet I'm not ready and it's my baby. So tell me if it was a good decision or not.