Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

23.)Choices

Tyler's POV

When I was younger I remember my mother telling me, it gets better Tyler. This heartbreak Is nothing but a distraction for what's in store for you.

I wish there was a way where you could know. Like what your soulmates name was. Imagine how easy it would be. Minimizing the casualties, but still creating that wonder. I would feel bad for the people with very common names. And jealous of the people with unique spelling, or even unique names.

But life isn't what you wish. It's what you get. So instead of knowing I'm left wondering. Who is the one I get to grow old with.

--

" Stay still."

I glared at the boy in front of me. His eyes met mine and his addicting smile appeared on his lips. He was teasing me, and I was most defiantly not gonna stand for it.

I challenged him by flailing my arms and sticking out my tongue like the child he called me as. I did act like a toddler around him, and I wasn't embarrassed.

" Tyler!" He warned giving me a stern look.

" Zac."

Smiles erupted on both our faces and we bursted in a fit of laughter in the middle of the cafe. He was drawing me, and I was awkwardly drinking my coffee. I haven't seen it yet, but he had shown his portraits before hand.

They were beautiful. The way he sketched with such a light touch. It made me wonder how delicate his hand must have been. He had a decent sized hand with long fingers. The type of fingers that deserved a ring. Just not one that was given by me.

" So have you spoken to Troye at all?" Zac asked.

I took a deep breath, " No. I just don't know what to do in all honesty. I don't want him to be tied down. He will regret it in the future. But thinking about another man having their hands on him-"

" Don't move so much your driving me crazy.. I know your gay and have to use your hands but just chill. Go on though."

And I continued. " Infuriates me. He's mine and instead I'm trying everything to not be his. What should I do."

It took a minute for him to answer considering he was finishing his artwork but when he did, it changed my way of thinking. " Bob Marley said something once ; if he's amazing, he won't be easy. If he's easy, he won't be amazing. If he's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, your not worthy... Tyler being in love is spectacular. Being someone's first love is endearing. But imagine being someone's first and last love. Wouldn't that just be un-explainable."

" So I call him?" I asked more to myself then him.

" No.. Get off your lazy ass and go to him. Grow some balls god dammit."

" Zac I owe you one. Thank you so much." I engulfed him into a hug before rushing out the door. Turning one last time, I got to see his art piece. It was me with a quote bubble above my head with no other then Troye in it, surrounded by hearts. Or love hearts as Troye would say.

--

After packing, I quickly got to the airport with my luggage trailing behind me. I found the airline ticket place and stumbled to the counter.

" Hello sir. How are you?" A women with darker skin and beautiful rosy colored hair. She worked the hell out of it.

" Hi and I'm good thankyou. Do you have any flights to Perth Australia? In desperate need."

Her eyes met mine as she studied my face. She had a strained smile and a curious look. " Don't freak out..." She paused. My heart dropped at that moment. "We do. It's just about to leave so if you hurry I could ask them to pause the flight and wait for your arrival."

The amount of relief I felt was incredible. I accidentally dropped the f bomb and she giggled before getting all the arrangements done with the ticket. When she was finished, I grabbed the ticket and almost sprinted through the airport to get to Gate 12. But before I could do so, she had spoken once more.

" Mr. Oakley?" The woman who was named Teresa, paused grinning in my direction. Her arm stretched over the counter holding a phone in her hand. Which just happened to be the one that belonged to me. " Have a Safe Flight."

--

Finally, I had made my way onto the plane and was grateful enough to have been aloud to sit in first class. The plane had been very full, so that was all that was left. I'm not going to complain though.

I was nervous to see Troye but excited in the best way possible. I hoped that he still wanted me, considering I had caused him so much pain. Would he be with Connor? Or another guy? What if, he was mad at me and didn't want to see me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. We will figure that out when it comes to it.

And it came to it.

Now I was standing outside his door. With a suitcase in one hand, and a flannel in the other.. I held my breath not wanting to knock on the door. This could be the start and/or end . Frustrated, mad, upset, happy could all be emotions that ran through his mind.

I have stood in front of thousands of people on multiple occasions. Spoken my opinion in a room full of people with different opinions. I've taken risks, and I've been nervous. Snervous if you will. But never have I felt this intoxicated with fear.

My insides screamed for me to run and just wait till a text appears. Wait until he's about 26 and then maybe I could do this. Although this could be the start to such a amazing future.. I was scared.

Scared of falling in love. Even though I was already in it. This time seemed so different. So real. And it terrified me. Arms were made for many reasons, One including to catch you when you fall. Love is having A extra pair of arms to catch you when yours don't seem to work. One day those arms might not be there to catch you..

Love is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you. When you hold hands and it just feels right. You don't feel nervous, because that person takes every feeling of darkness and lights up your world with color. Troye Sivan Mellet is my color. And I needed to know if I was his.

My hand shook as it made its way to the door. I watched as it formed a fist and lightly tapped against the cold, hard surface. The echo stopped my heart and I held my breath waiting for the sound of the handle to move. " Got it." I heard a male voice that was extremely familiar. I need to run.. Now.

I turned on my heel and was about to charge when I finally heard it, the door knob move and the sound of the door opening. I didn't turn back around yet, I just waited. Listening to the gasp and silence that followed.

" Tilly?"