Goodbye Troyler // EDITING

16.) Goodbye

Troyes POV

Things are harder than they used to be. Before everything changed when I decided it was a good idea to date my best friend to forget about my crush who was my best friend.

I have three best friends. Three completely different people who have changed me in different ways. Kayla is home in human form. She holds the memories and awkward moments that I held with me on my journey of discovering myself. I have Connor, who as stuck with me when he shouldn't have. Who rubs his creativity on me, and truly is a amazing human. Then I have Tyler. My boyfriend who I could never love anyone more. He's my other half. My Tumblr addicted, gay queen, social justicy soul mate. And I wouldn't change them for anything.

There is conversations that I want to talk to each of them about. Sometimes one friend wont understand the same way the other two will and vise versa.

I talk to Kay about memories and catching her up on all my secrets and plans, as I'm always away from her.

I talk to Connor about art and pictures. About stepping outside my comfort zone and posting that picture I think others wont like but I'm obsessed with. The clothes I'm too afraid to wear because I'm terrified of being judged.

And I talk to Tyler about everything in between. How I can't imagine spending my life with anybody else. He inspires me to live my dreams and take a chance. To forget about change and just live.

These people make me incredibly happy and I can't lose any of them.. Not ever. So it's very hard, to balance out my time. Spending enough of my spare time to equally make them happy.

I have to go back to Australia today, and I was gonna be there for my birthday. Tyler couldn't come, being the very busy boy that he is. Having so much to do, in so little time. I worry he's pushing himself to hard, but he hides it very well.

Connor was coming up for my birthday, because he had free time. Planning on spending a couple weeks in Australia to hangout. I was excited two of the three would be in the same country. Still my heart broke not having Tyler there like he was last year. I don't blame him though, I never could.

" Tyler." I said simply. He glanced up and I witnessed a tear drop on his shirt.

" You can't cry, because then I will. And it will be a disaster. Two very gay boys crying in the airport holding each other. It's a stare fest waiting to happen." I pulled at his waist tugging him against me. Our bodies clung together like they always did with goodbyes. And once again, I never wanted to let go.

" I'm crying because I don't know when I'll get to see again. I don't get to hold you the way I crave every night, and most importantly I know I'm never gonna forgive myself for what I'm about to do..." He explained tears rolling down his face. I still hated when he cried just as much as before.

Slowly I wiped his tears away and he shook away my grasp. I was very nervous about what he was going to say, I just hoped it wasn't leading to what I begged him not to say.

He said the words. The words that broke me into a million pieces. That only hands that belonged to him could fix. Where is the just kidding. Or I'm joking. But surprisingly they didn't come, Ever.

" I'm letting you go." His mouth moved with the four words. I didn't think I heard them correctly, until he said them again. "I'm letting you go, because I can't keep holding you back. Not any longer."

Imagine falling. Slowly but surely. That leap that you took, oh that was a dangerous leap. Thinking you could make it to the other side, but unlike that odd chance that you make it, you missed. Wanna know why you missed? Because just as you were coming down just under the opposite cliff that you jumped from, a shot was fired. Hard enough to fly you back. And so..you fell.