Professor Malfoy

55 | night confessions

Chapter 55
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The green lights and aura of the common room are lingering through our bodies and illuminating our faces while sitting by the huge fireplace in the middle. I don't remember the last time I sat on these comfortable couches. It must've been a long, long time ago since we all gathered like this.

I must admit, I missed these long, rainy evenings with fire cracking and echoing around the dungeon, the smell of black tea and croissants freshly served twice a day.

The fact that we're all covered with big knitted blankets reminds us that December is slowly but surely behind the door, waiting for us. And with December come the last Christmas spent here, at Hogwarts. At home. My heart aches the moment I think of it. I forbid myself of these thoughts very often.

"Lou? You okay?" Pansy asks me and I lift my head from her shoulder where it's been resting for the past half an hour.

I pull my knees together and hug them tightly, hiding my feet covered with warm socks inside.

"I was just thinking," I mumble, my voice sleepy, "this is the last Christmas here,"

My words hang in the air for long time before anyone answers. I can see those words floating through their minds, making them uneasy. I didn't mean to ruin the mood.

"I can't believe this," Blaise says and shakes his head.

Him and Pansy still haven't made peace, but I see the innocent looks they give each other every now and then. They're working it out.

"You did not have to say that," Zion breathes out.

"I'm sorry," I pout my eyebrows, "do you guys have plans for the holidays?"

Everyone shakes their heads. "Not really, no,"

"We should spend it here," Pansy decides, "all together,"

"That would be nice." I smile, happy to have them back.

Talking about Christmas also makes me think of Draco. I haven't asked him about this, but I'm pretty sure his family will need him home.

While everyone chats, I zone out for a while, staring into the fire. The cracks remind me of the fight with Draco's enemies that one time in the forest. Their bones made that exact sound as they cracked in pieces. My bones made that sound as well. Sometimes I can still feel the pain I endured while cursed by the cruciatus curse. When I'm falling asleep, when I'm showering, when I'm alone, it just creeps in and starts hurting for a moment, like a reminder.

I hate myself for never speaking of this with Draco. But I could never make him worry like that, not when the pain doesn't last long. I can stand it. For now.

Blaise's laugh gets me out of the overthinking. I eye all three of them from up to down, stopping at Theo's dark green sweatshirt I bought him when we were still together. It makes my mouth dry a bit, but I don't let it bother me. Just a sweatshirt. It's just a simple sweatshirt, it doesn't mean anything. He probably even forgot who bought it.

"You good?" Theo asks.

I blink a few times, realizing my eyes have been locked on his sweatshirt for way too long.

I nod for yes and feel Zion's eyes examine my face.

"We need to talk. In private." He sends a message down the barrier.

I narrow my spine and sit up, "sure."

He excuses himself and goes to his room to "use the toilet".  I follow him five minutes later, telling the rest that I'll go grab a dark chocolate in my room.