Professor Malfoy

46 | shattering

Chapter 46
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This wasn't one of my brightest days. Quite the opposite, actually.

It rained for the whole time, making me even sadder. The castle's classrooms and corridors were all dressed in dark atmosphere and I couldn't bring myself to focus on anything else than the rain drops falling on the metal windowsills with a loud noise.

I had seven classes today. I don't even remember being there - I just kept staring out of the window and imagining Draco. God, it's been so long without him, I'm slowly forgetting how his soft platinum hair feels when I brush my fingers through it, how his thick eyelashes tingle my skin, how his warm lips connect with mine.

I tried calling him, I sent him hundreds of messages down the bond, but no answer got to me. He could be anywhere, who knows? Maybe even getting a divorce.

All I know is that I can't live like this anymore.

At 9pm, sitting on my floor with my head leaned against the bed behind me, I tell him a stupid thing out of desperation.

"I'm seriously going to harm myself if you don't talk to me right now."

Pure desperation.

But it was so worth it.

After a few seconds, I feel a nice tingling sensation inside my head. I immediately know he's connecting to my barrier, my heart skips a few beats and I suck in my breath.
Come on.

"You there?" I call for him.

"Lou, you can't say things like that-" the barrier falls down for a little while, then I hear his voice again in the back of my head, "I got into trouble...it's risky to talk-"

"Are you okay? Where are you?"

I exhale loudly.

"I have no idea. But once I get out, I'm coming back, I swear-"

"But-" I feel tears in the corners of my eyes. No. No. No. He's going to say goodbye any second now.

"Don't do this to yourself...go have some fun like you did before we met. Pretend I don't exist, just for a few more days-"

"No! Don't go just yet, pl-"

"I have to. Goodbye, Lou."

~•~

I get out of my bed and head straight into the bathroom. I've cried all my tears and guts out, I no longer have any. I'm done.

My face is puffy and my eyes red, so doing my makeup took me more than I planned, but at least I look like a human again. I covered all my sadness and cry marks and let out my hair that I haven't washed since Theo did. Surprisingly, it still looks fresh. After a few strokes with a brush, it looks good. Decent.

I have a sudden rush of energy, so I have to make the most out of it. I put on some nice outfit and look at myself in the mirror - a silver sparkly dress with opened arms and revealed back that goes to my knees, I even chose high heels just to feel pretty. I haven't felt like that in a long, long time.

The last step is my red lipstick that I put on in front of my mirror. Me and Pansy used to do this, we always put on our lipsticks last and together.

Go have some fun. Pretend I don't exist, he told
me.

For the first time, I'll do exactly what he said.
I lock my room and walk through the common room to the corridor with boys room. Like I don't have my eyes sparkly from the tears, I barge into their room filled with people I did not expect to be there.