20 : The Signs
DAMIEN
Lying on the bed, the room was wrapped in an awkward stillness, only broken by the faint noise of the city outside. The window was slightly open, letting in the cool night air and the distant murmur of life beyond these walls.
Next to me, was Julian who's asleep already, facing in my direction, and his breathing slow and steady. I could hear it, soft and rhythmic, blending with the gentle sounds of the night.
Hindi ako makatulog. My mind refused to settle, thoughts racing endlessly, circling back to one thing—him.
I stared at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me. But no matter how much I tried to focus elsewhere, my gaze kept drifting back to Julian. He lay there so peacefully with his features soft, the tension from earlier completely gone.
I turned my head slightly, allowing myself a better view of him. His face was illuminated faintly by the city lights seeping through the windows, casting a soft glow over his features. His lips were slightly parted. His face serene, as if the world outside didn't exist. There was a calmness about him that I couldn't look away from. My heart tightened in my chest, a feeling I couldn't quite put into words stirring within me.
Unconsciously, my hand moved on its own, reaching out to brush the bangs away from his forehead. His hair was soft beneath my fingers, and I lingered for a moment longer than necessary. Hindi naman siya kumibo as he was completely lost in his dreams. I exhaled quietly, withdrawing my hand and lying back down, my eyes fixed on the ceiling once more. Ano ba 'tong ginagawa ko?
This strange pull I felt toward him, the way my heart seemed to beat faster when he was near. It wasn't just friendship; it was something deeper, something... I hadn't dared to acknowledge until now.
Ilang beses ko nang inalala kung kailan ito nagsimula, but it was like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. It had crept up on me, slowly, subtly, until it was impossible to ignore.
I thought back to all the moments we had shared. Julian had always been different. Around everyone else, I was reserved, the quiet guy who kept to himself. People admired that about me, thought it made me mysterious or cool. But it was exhausting, always keeping up that image, never letting anyone see the real me. I had learned to hide behind a mask, one that rarely slipped.
... except when I was with Julian.
With him, I didn't have to pretend. He made it so easy to be myself, to laugh, to talk about random things without worrying about how I looked or what people thought. He didn't care about my reputation or the image I had to maintain.
To him, I was just Damien. Not the basketball star or the popular guy at school. Just me.
I chuckled softly, thinking about all the times he had unknowingly made me feel free. There's just something about his presence that disarmed me, made me drop my guard in a way I never did with anyone else. He had this quiet strength, this unspoken understanding that made me feel seen, truly seen.
Muli kong binaling ang paningin kay Julian at pinagmasdan ang kanyang mukha. He looked so peaceful, so at ease. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil he had been in earlier. Seeing him like this, I felt a surge of protectiveness rise within me. As if I wanted to shield him from all the pain, all the hurt that the world had thrown his way. He didn't deserve any of it.
He never deserve to get hurt.
As I continued to watch him, I realized something I had been too afraid to admit before. He was... my anchor, my safe haven in a world that often felt overwhelming. Around him, I didn't have to be anyone but myself. It was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time, and it terrified me. But at the same time, it was comforting, grounding me in a way nothing else could.
Julian... felt like home.
Napabuntong-hinjnga ako at sandaling pumikit, letting the weight of that realization settle over me. I know it for a fact.
That Julian was definitely more than a friend.
He was someone I wanted to hold on to, someone I didn't want to lose. The thought of him slipping away, of not having him in my life, was unbearable.
I opened my eyes, stealing one last glance at him. The tension from earlier had melted away and got replaced by a peacefulness that made my chest ache. Nang bigla itong gumalaw sa kanyang pwesto at nakita ko ang mahinang pagkuskos ng dalawa nitong paa ay inayos ko ang pagkakabalot ng kumot sa kanya upang hindi ito lamigin at mas maging kumportable. It was a small gesture, but it felt significant, like I was silently promising to be there for him no matter what.
As I lay back down, my eyes drifted to the ceiling once more. The city outside continued its quiet hum, a distant reminder of the world beyond these walls.
But in this moment, none of that really mattered.
All that mattered was the boy sleeping beside me, the one who had unknowingly become my... everything.
Sleep began to tug at my consciousness, the weight of the day finally catching up with me. My eyelids grew heavy, and I let out a soft sigh, allowing myself to relax. The last thing I saw before sleep claimed me was Julian's peaceful face, a reminder of everything good, everything real.
I don't want to admit it yet, but the truth is... I'm really starting to feel some weird signs because of him.
Because of someone I never thought I would be with.
Because of Julian Perez.
