Unkept secrets >>Wolfstar (UNFINISHED)

A discarded letter

After a lengthy drive, the train finally pulled to a stop. James sat up and rubbed his eyes, the sound of the train squeaking to a stop waking up everyone in the carriage.

Remus and Sirius had been awake since their rendezvous in the bathroom, the taller one
avoiding the others presence casually.

Voices grew louder on the train as everyone scrambled to get off and see their parents. The people in Sirius' compartment moved about lazily, grabbing their luggage from the shelves above them, muttering goodbyes.

The compartment emptied slowly, everyone getting off the train without much trouble. Sirius stayed back, grabbing Remus' wrist as he tried to leave the compartment.

"Will you write to me?" Sirius asked desperately, a hidden hope in his eyes. He had never felt this way; not even for Trevor.

Remus let out a light chuckle and shut the sliding door behind himself. "Yes," he answered shortly like it was a silly question.

Sirius glanced down at his lips rapidly, Remus caught onto this and opened the compartment door with a short goodbye. If the windows weren't facing the platform, maybe he would have kissed him.

Sirius left the train shortly after, a sorrowful look on his face. James was nowhere in sight, but his family stood just in his eye-line.

His father stood over regulus, placing a hand on his shoulder with little to no expression. Suddenly, a hand seized Sirius arm, belonging to Mary, a look of regret on her face.

"Sirius I don't have much time to tell you this, but I just cant keep doing this," she let out. Sirius looked at her for a moment to give her the illusion that he cared.

"Doing what?" He inquired, gaze trailing in Remus' direction. Mary let out a sigh then an agitated squeal.

"This!" She exclaimed, "you never talk to me, and when you do it's only because you want to make out. I don't think you ever talked to me once during that train ride and I was right next to you!"

Sirius winced at her choice of words, "I didn't think we were that serious."

His eyes watched as Remus walked off with who he assumed to be his father, and his mind was brought back to what could've been their kiss only moments ago. Maybe that's why he didn't really care that Mary wanted nothing to do with him.

Am I turning into my father? Sirius furrowed his brow at this thought.

"We weren't, and we never will be. I wanted to make it serious, but you can't even pay attention to me through this conversation," she frowned.

"I don't know how anyone can stand you," she muttered, walking off unbothered towards her family.

Sirius looked back at his parents for a moment, leaving the platform with his brother and he felt a pang in his chest.

He is a Black at heart.

He then saw James waving at him in the distance, standing beside his mother. She looked to be only 5'0 with big rosy cheeks and a smile like James'.

Sirius followed after them and let his mind clear of all of the harsh thoughts that make his heart feel like a cement block in his chest. Remus on the other hand couldn't think of anything but their kiss.

The radio let out a faint tune in the distance, blurred by the sound of freezing rain beating on the car window. His father, Lyall, remained silent as he usually did, as uptight as he was, he never let it slip into his expression.

The kiss probably meant nothing to Sirius, Sirius just wanted to mess with him. That stupid kiss just happened to be Remus' first, and he felt so embarrassed that he was probably horrible at it.

His interest had been peaked about Sirius since he had arrived at their school, and now that he had finally kissed him, he felt terribly guilty. What would his father think?

If he learned to kiss better, maybe, just maybe if he and Sirius kissed again, Sirius would be amazed. Remus felt foolish thinking these thoughts as he sat right next to his father in the car that they had been using since Remus was four.

Everything felt different this winter, something was going to happen, something big and he wasn't sure whether it was going to be good or not.

One thing of the ordinary was his dads silence, he didn't even care enough to ask about how school had been. He had only said hello once Remus had gotten off the train.

The car slowed to a stop in their driveway and his father climbed out silently, heading inside the house without so much as a word. Remus grabbed his trunk from the backseat, hauling it inside before he got drenched in the rain.

His mother walks around in the kitchen, a smile on her face once she sees him, Remus smiles back politely and goes up to his room.

He smells the familiar air, his bed is still unmade from September morning, and his window his partially open so the snow sits on a little pile on the top of his desk.

Remus drops his trunk onto his bed and accepts that this is going to be his life for the next two weeks.

A light knock comes from behind his door, one that is practiced by being around short tempered people.

"Suppers ready Rem," his mother hums with her quiet voice. Remus heads to the door that he had just entered and opens it to greet his mother.

But she had already disappeared downstairs. At the table they remained silent. The clinking of forks and scratching of plates made Remus snappy.

"My co-worker and his family are coming for dinner tomorrow, he's got a son about your age," his father mutters, taking in another mouthful of his salad.

"Okay," Remus returned with an irritated tone. His father looked up from his dish, the look of an angry dog taking over his expression.

"Okay? First day back and you're already trying to start a fight," Lyall began.

"I'm not trying to start anything I'm just tired and I've been around people all day," Remus returned with a sigh.

His father mutters something in his native language that Remus recognized as a cuss. "Are you doing drugs?"

"No im not doing drugs. I just said okay, because you said that some strangers are coming to dinner," Remus stared at his plate as he spoke.

"Is there an issue with that?" Lyall narrowed his eyes, looking for an argument.

"Piss off," Remus muttered, poking his fork around his plate.

"Don't talk to your father like that," his mother chimed in. At this, Remus stood up from the dinner table and headed to his room.

To distract his mind he began to draft a letter to Sirius telling him to forget about what had happened, but something deep inside him felt bad for kissing him in the first place.

He discarded the letter.