Immortal love (Caius)

Eternal Longing

 I sat up and my phone was ringing next to me, it was a number I didn't recognize. "Hello? Who is this?" I said as I answered. "Oh hi Sol, it's Sam." I felt a little annoyed that his phone call took me away from Caius but I just shook the feeling off, he obviously didn't do it on purpose.

 "Hi Sam, what's up?" I answered. "Well I see you aren't at school today and I just wanted to make sure you were still coming to La Push later. Also follow up question, would you like to ride together? I could pick you up." Sam said. I forgot that I even said I would go, I could bail and use the family 'camping trip' as an excuse, but I decided against it, I really didn't want to make Sam feel bad. "Oh yeah I almost forgot, my family took us on a little family getaway since the weather is so nice but I can be back in time for the beach, and I guess we could ride together, i'll text you my address." I said to him, "Great! I'll pick you up later. I can't wait to hang." Sam said in a giddy tone. I said my goodbyes and told him I was excited too. I wasn't really but maybe this would be a good way to get my mind off of things. I got up and looked out of my window, the sun was flowing into my room and it felt so nice against my skin. I made my way downstairs to eat some breakfast and see if I could kill time with one of my siblings. "Hello? Anyone home?" I yelled from the kitchen and I poured myself some cereal. "Yes and you know you do not have to yell." Rosalie said jokingly as she came inside from the garden holding a bouquet of the bleeding hearts I grew. She arranged them and put them in a black vase in the center of our kitchen island. I stayed quiet for a moment, we hadn't really talked much since our argument, I could sense she wanted to clear the air between us so I waited for her to speak again. "So Sol, I wanted to chat with you about the other day. I obviously owe you an apology, I know you are going through a lot and you always put the family first even before your own feelings. I shouldn't have thrown Caius in your face like that, so I'm sorry." She said anxiously. Rose was very prideful and didn't really like having to apologize but she knew she crossed a line and was worried I wouldn't forgive her. "You did really hurt me, but I also understand that your frustration wasn't truly aimed at me, and I will admit I said some things I shouldn't have. So I am sorry too." I said sincerely. Her anxiety lifted and she loosened up. I spoke again "I crossed a line too, I know you have complicated feelings about Bella but you shouldn't be jealous of her. I know humanity means something different to you than it does to her but you can project that onto her. Edward is her mate and no matter what he chooses to do that is fact." Rosalie quietly nodded her head before speaking again. "Yes I'm jealous of her but it's more than that, her coming into our lives feels like a death sentence. I can't explain it but I just know it will bring us chaos." Her fear and anxiety was strong as she said this, she really believed that Bella was going to doom our family and she hated her for it. My heart hurts for my sister, she was so misunderstood, and I became a part of that by treating her the way I did. Her suffering was much deeper than many people knew, it was hard for her to trust and she has every right to feel that way. "No matter what comes our way I will never let anyone harm our family, I promise." I said as I reached for Rosalie's hand and squeezed it hard. She pulled me in for a hug and then swiftly left the kitchen. 

I made my way up to my room to get ready for La Push, it had been quite some time since I visited the reservation so this would be a good change of pace hopefully. As I was getting dressed the heavy clouds that usually covered Forks returned as quick as they left. Now it was gloomy the way it always was. As much as I missed the sun, years of hiding from it made me more comfortable in the darkness. I threw on a green oversized knit sweater and some black cargo pants with my usual Docs since I wasn't planning on getting in the water to surf. As I finished getting ready I got that odd feeling that I have been getting, the feeling of impending doom and darkness. I tried to focus on it and follow it, the dark energy felt so close to me it was making me dizzy. It was getting so intense. Right as I went to do a spell to find its source my doorbell rang and the feeling just stopped.

I shook the feeling off and tried to compose myself as I ran downstairs to get the door. I opened the door and Sam was standing there with a big smile on his face as he spoke. "Ready to go, Sol?". I tried to act as normal as possible but part of me felt so uneasy, this darkness was so close to me and I couldn't even locate it, whatever and whoever this is has the upperhand on me and I do not like it. I snapped out of my thoughts and answered Sam "um yes I think I am ready to go." He looked like he saw right through my facade... he had a worried look on his face like he could tell I wasn't all there. I tried to see what he was thinking but it was all static and not a clear thought came through. We walked to his car in silence, he opened the door for me and I sat down quickly. "Oh my god say something Sol he can tell you are acting weird" I said to myself. Sam spoke and broke the silence. "Penny for your thoughts? You look troubled, remember you can trust me." I took a deep breath and thought about what he said for a moment. I would love to have a friend to talk to, a friend that I didn't have to lie to, but Sam could never understand what I'm going through. He is just a human boy. "I'm sorry I'm being so weird again, I wish I could explain what's wrong but I wouldn't even know where to start." I said to him in hopes he would let it go. He nodded slowly and spoke carefully. "I will be here when you are ready" I smiled at him to show appreciation for his kindness and patience. It was nice that he was so patient with me, he made me feel like I wasn't caught up in this crazy mess that I have to call my life.

 Although I was thankful for Sam I couldn't stop thinking of Caius and our last conversation. Caius brought me such comfort and I would do anything to just be with him at this moment. These short little rendezvous were not enough anymore, I wonder if it's still too dangerous just to go to him in person. I can feel that he longs to see me outside of our little dream meetings and I long to see him just as much if not more. I can feel myself becoming softer and softer when it comes to him and it scares me but also excites me. For centuries I have refrained from forming true deep connections. Then I met my family and I let them know the real me. They weren't afraid they just loved me for me. I thought I would never need anything other than them, until Caius. He opened me up to the possibility of true love that would be with an equal. Someone I could love forever. My chest hurt as I thought of the forces trying to pull us apart.

In a simpler time we would have met in a spontaneous way . I would have played hard to get, pretending to be uninterested even though internally I would be completely head over heels. He would enjoy the challenge of gaining my favor and I would enjoy the chase, eventually I would let him know that I fancied him from the moment I laid eyes on him. I would spend every spare moment with him, people would talk and say I was promiscuous for being alone with a boy instead of going to church like the rest of the good girls.He would fight to defend my honor to anyone who dared talk shame upon my name. My mama would pretend to hate him at first but enjoy seeing me fall in love. My sister would make fun of me for even paying attention to a boy. All the while I would be wishing and praying he fancied me the way I did him. Eventually we would marry and start a family of our own. My mama would be a proud grandmother and my sister a mischievously fun aunt. He would be a loving husband and fierce father. And I would think of how the stars aligned for us and thank the universe for its favor upon me. Times like these I wish things were different, I suppose I'm starting to understand why Edward is so gloomy these days. 

A/N: a little bit of a filler chapter but necessary! I hope you enjoy it, in the next few chapters things may be getting a little crazy.