Days in Mondstadt

Chapter 28- Closure

"So," said Master Jean. "When do we tell them?"

Jean, Kaeya and Y/n sat in the command tent, the flaps firmly closed to outside observers as well as the evening light.
Y/n still had Diluc's coat pulled tightly around her body. Her arms were shoved deep inside the sleeves but her hands barely even reached the cuffs, giving her the air of a child swaddled in a quilt.
Kaeya rested his chin on his hands.
"Who is 'we', Jean?"

Jean ignored the casual use of her name and answered,
"All three of us. They're looking to us for answers. People are getting restless now, wondering why Master Diluc isn't here to share in their victory."

Anger burned behind Kaeya's eyes.
"So you would force y/n to relive that event again just so the rest of the knights are satisfied?"

Jean sucked in a deep breath.
"No, Cavalry Captain. I would not ask her to retell the whole event. I was simply going to tell them that y/n found his coat. They can come to their own conclusions on the rest."

Y/n cleared her throat.
"I think we should tell them as soon as possible. Any longer and they'll be suspicious."

"Agreed." Said Kaeya. "I'll ask Amber to round everyone up."

Y/n cringed internally at the mention of the Outrider. How could she have forgotten about the sweet girl? In refusing to partake in the victory celebrations, she had also shut out her cheerful friend. She promised herself that she would leave her tent and hammock and congratulate her friends soon, but not yet. There was simply no way she was ready.

Kaeya let himself out of the tent and y/n was left alone with Jean. Jean cleared her throat.

"Ahem, I don't know if I have said this yet, but I am so sorry, y/n. Truly."

Y/n looked at her lap.
"Thanks Jean. My condolences to you too."

Jean shifted in her chair.
"That isn't necessary, I wasn't nearly as close to him as you were."

"You don't have to pretend, Jean. It's just the two of us here. I saw the way you looked at him. And you two were always together. Shared goals, high standing in the community, longing looks? I put the pieces together."

Jean's face reddened and she stuttered.
"We'll, well yes we're both high ranking- but, I mean to say, I- well, we were never together. And we never would have been."

"What?" Y/n sat up a bit straighter. Her chest was feeling tight.

"Yes, it's true that have- had feelings for him. I suppose I was really unsuccessful at concealing them. But, well, he rejected me, y/n. Flat out. Before I even left for my vacation. Honestly that vacation was probably as much an escape as anything else."

"But..." y/n trailed off. "I saw you with him. You seemed so, I don't know. Together..?"

"It was all one sided." Jean slid her hand down her face in embarrassment. "I guess I continued acting the way I did in hopes that he could still be swayed. It was foolish of course, he only ever had eyes for you."

Y/n's jaw dropped in astonishment.
"What? Say that again."

"I thought I could sway him...?"

"No, what did you mean about him only having eyes for me?"

Jean looked at y/n incredulously.
"You can't be serious. You don't know? It must be clear to everyone but you y/n."

Y/n felt hot tears stinging her eyes and nose and she clamped a hand over her mouth. Shaking her head she said,
"I- I didn't. I don't. I don't know."

Her head swam with thoughts and images of Diluc. Something clawed a hole inside her chest where her heart used to be and her tapped out a steady rhythm of if only if only if only...

What if? What if? What if?

Jean stood.
"I'm sorry. You look distressed, Leaf Knight. I'll- I shall give you some space to process."

She stood and was about to leave the tent when Kaeya came careening in through the flaps, crashing into Jean.

"Apologies, apologies." He said, helping her up. Just then, shouting was heard from outside. His tanned face went pale.
"Master Jean, Leaf Knight- There's something I think you should see."