Leave the World on Read

You don't have to hide from me ( John B Routledge x Reader )

"You're a lazy, pathetic, selfish, ungrateful, stupid, bitch, all I do for you and this-THIS is how you treat me?!" My aunt berates me yet again for the umpteenth time. A little backstory for you I'm sixteen now three days till I'm 17 my mom left my dad and basically dropped off the face of the earth when I was little, my dad took custody of me until he died by driving drunk and crashing into a lightpost (I still thank god he didn't kill anybody else that night.) when I was 12, So with my mom off somewhere where no one knows, and she never answered any of the contact from the system, I was passed off to my aunt, dad's sister, my only other living relative. My aunt lived in Outer Banks, therefore I moved there, and I'm actually half glad I did, sure my aunt hates me and my general existence, but I found a new family: The Pogues. They pretty much make it all worth it, I honestly don't think I'd have survived this long without them. I met John B first while wandering my new neighborhood we lovingly call the cut. Now I know what you're thinking who in their right minds would let a 12 year old wander the cut by themselves? Well my aunt wasn't in her right mind, just like my dad she's a drunk. When the police dropped me off she said "I've only got a few rules but you HAVE to follow them or you won't be living here anymore; one:don't touch my booze, two; do what I tell you too, three; go to school; four don't cause problems, children are meant to be seen and not heard." With that she slumped into her chair taking a swig from her glass. So yeah I tried to spend as little time as possible there, so I was really glad I found the Pogues. Back to the present apparently I didn't put the dishes away right, and folded the laundry all wrong hence why she was mad today, oh and it's the anniversary of the day my dad died. "You can't do anything right you dumbass, you're gonna make a shit wife someday, you're ugly and you can't even do basic chores, I feel pity for the poor bastard dumb enough to love you." She muttered slamming cabinets in the kitchen. "Can you please just stop." I whispered not thinking she could actually hear me. She whipped around and got right in my face "What you just say to me you little shit?!" Spittle landing on my cheek. "N-nothing." I gulped. "You told me to stop, you tried to tell ME what to do IN MY OWN HOME!" She screeched. "I-mI'm sorry I-I- I didn't mean it." I whimpered. "DON'T YOU EVER EVER TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" she roared smacking me across one cheek then backhanding me across the other, yanking me to my feet by my hair, before shoving me down on the floor in the hallway towards my room roughly by the back of my neck. "STAY the FUCK outta my sight, till I tell you otherwise. You little whore, I WISH you'd been in the car with your daddy, then you'd be dead too, and not screwing up my life all the damn time." She yelled after me as I was walking to my room. I whimpered quietly feeling my bottom lip trembling and a piece of my heart shattering, I knew she never cared about me but it was another thing to actually hear her say those words, especially today of all days. My skin began to crawl, and it felt like the walls were closing in, and my room usually one of my safe havens, felt harsh and uninviting, I needed to get out of here. I grabbed a hoodie from the corner sliding it on and realizing from the scent I was engulfed in it was John B's my boyfriend's. I slipped on my sneakers tying them up, grabbing my backpack, shoving in like three days worth of clothes, some toiletries, my laptop, phone, chargers, and anything else I thought I needed. I slid a beanie onto my head and climbed out the window. The pitch dark around me not helping with my rising anxiety I began to run, My shoes smacking against the concrete echoing through the houses as I passed them. My heart pounding and pounding in my chest, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. I ran and I ran but didn't know where I was going but soon as if my body knew where I was safest before I did my feet lead me to the Chateau. I paused in the driveway realizing it was John B, Pope and JJ's guys night. I didn't want to intrude or be a burden, and I definitely didn't want my boyfriend or our friends thinking I was clingy and couldn't handle shit on my own. I bit down on my lip glancing around as I thought about what to do, my heart wanting one thing, my brain telling me another. Finally my eyes fell upon the front of the HMS Pogue tied to the dock ever so slightly illuminated from the glow of the porch lights that JB always leaves on. I could tell from the slight breeze it was bobbing ever so gently and I had so many nice memories on that boat it was also one of the few places I felt safe so, I quickly and quietly stole across the yard and down the dock climbing in discarding my bag beside me and curling up in a corner. I ran my hand gently over the side feeling the peeling paint and trying to let the boat ground me. My heart still pounding away as if it was trying to leap out of my chest, a knot of emotion tightening just above, my hands and legs shaking and tingling, my lungs fighting to breathe as I hyperventilated , the stream of tears increasing to a non stop waterfall, as I painfully tried to stifle sobs, not wanting anyone to hear me, biting down on my lip fighting to keep the bubbling emotions concealed so hard I tasted blood. I started fidgeting with the bandana that JB had given me one from his collection. I rolled the soft cloth over and over through my fingers trying to focus on it and the way it felt and not the negative thoughts rolling through my head, and the emotions that wanted nothing more than to be let out nearly boiling over. I was curled in the back right corner of the HMS Pogue shrouded in darkness as the glow from the porch lights only cast on the front left, so no one could see me unless they climbed aboard with a flashlight. I heard the familiar protest of the screen door, followed by the voices of my lover and our friends, beams of light sweeping and getting closer. "HELL yeah night fishing with the boys!" I heard JJ whoop. I curled up tighter, clamping a hand over my mouth trying not to draw attention to myself until the last second possible. But it was all for naught as the beam of one of their headlamps fell on me once they had reached the boat. "Y/n?" Came Pope head cocked to the side in confusion. Two more beams join his as Jb and JJ caught up. "Y/n? Baby? You okay?" John B asked concern overtaking his features. I shook my head knowing that if I tried to speak the damn would break. "What's wrong sweetheart? Are you hurt?" He asked coming and kneeling in front of me concern lacing his voice now too as he had never seen me like this. I sat curled in the corner making no movements, not saying a word my hand still clamped over my mouth. "Oh my sweet girl let me help you, I want to help you, but you gotta tell me what's going on, baby, you're starting to worry me and the boys, we just want to help, you're safe, I've gotcha, I've gotcha." Jb tried to soothe pulling me into his warm embrace and cradling me protectively in his lap. His sweet words and worries broke the damn, my heart completely shattering as that was the last thing I wanted to do, I didn't want to be scaring him or our friends, or interrupting boys night, burdening him with problems that weren't his to begin with and he already had enough on his plate. A gut wrenching, anguished body heaving wail ripped out of my chest, followed by another and another, the pot finally boiling over, I couldn't hold back anymore John B. Tightened his embrace around me, smoothing my hair with one hand, "Oh baby, oh honey, my sweet girl, I love you, and I've got you, I've got you, 'm not going anywhere, shh, shh, shh, it's okay, let it out, let it all out. You'll be okay, I'm okay, Pope's okay, JJ's okay, and Kie's okay too, I promise. It's alright. I'm here, I'm right here, I've got you, 'm not gonna let you go, I'm right here, I love you so so much and 'm gonna hold you and help you through this." JB continued to soothe. JJ reached out lightly rubbing my shoulder, "We've all got you, we're all here for ya girl." He offered before wrapping his arms around me and JB. "We're family y/n/n you've been here for all of us, so many times before, it's our turn now and we gotcha, it'll all be okay." Pope whispered rubbing my back and joining the hug. After a few seconds they let go but still remained close sitting on either side of JB as he still held me close and comfortingly stroked my hair. My chest burning, my lungs heaving as the built up sobs poured out, I could feel John B's shirt getting increasingly wetter as it absorbed my tears from where I had my face buried in his neck. Still painfully shaking and hyperventilating John B began to gently coach me to breathe or I was going to pass out. "ma need ya to breathe pretty girl, c'mon breathe with me please? Innnnn and ouuutttt, in and out." He quickly shifted me so my head was laying against his chest, I could hear his heart pounding from how worried he was. He began rubbing my back in the way he knew always helped and planted a kiss on top of my head. "Breathe baby, breathe with me, match my breathing, feel my chest going up and down sweetheart, you're doing great, 'm so so proud of you, keep following my chest, I love you, you've got this, just keep breathing, Deep breaths." He coached me through not stopping until my sobs died down and my shaking subsided to trembling, planting kisses here and there on top of my head and on my forehead in between each calming phrase. "Y/n do you mind if I put my watch on your wrist? it measures heartrate and I want to know where yours is at, that okay?" Pope asked gently reaching for my wrist, I could only nod as he slid the watch on and adjusted it then made it start measuring. "I'll go grab you a water bottle, don't go anywhere, or die or anything." JJ smiled trying to lighten the mood then jogging into the chateau and back. "Here ya go." He handed it to John B who opened it then held it to my lips gently tipping sips in. "There we go sweet girl, sips not gulps, you've got it." JB instructed as I lay limply against his chest. "your heartrate was 178 but it's consistently dropping so that's great." Pope said as he took his watch back and smiled at me. "Wait is that high? or low?" JJ asked not knowing and slightly confused. "It's high but it's dropping, normal for humans is between 60 and a hundred, anything higher is not too good, but it can go into the 140's 150's while you're exercising though, anything higher than that is usually from stress, fear, adrenaline, or anxiety." Pope explained. "Huh." JJ grunted. Jb chuckled softly still rubbing my back. "So what's going on my love? you don't have to hide from me." He coaxed gently. "I- I got in another fight w-with my -a-aunt." I rasped. "Did she say something? Did she hurt you?" He asked quickly pulling back a bit to inspect me brows furrowing as he found the bruise from her first slap. "S-she called me lazy, pathetic, an s-selfish, an un-ungrateful, s-s-stupid an a b-bitch, T-told me I I I couldn't dd do anything r-right." I sniffled taking a breath. Jb tsked and tightened his arms around me. "Told m-me I'm gonna be a shit wife someday, that n-not only was I ugly, but s-she pities the poor bastard dumb enough to m-marry me." I sniffled more JB wiping some tears from my cheeks and I sipped some more water. "Oh baby." He huffed kissing my forehead, nose, and cheeks. "She yanked me out of my seat by my hair then slapped me and backhanded me across both cheeks, then thrust me down the hallway by the back of my neck." I whispered not feeling brave enough to speak at full volume. "Been there, not fun, m'sorry." JJ spoke up rubbing my shoulder. "M'sorry I wasn't there to protect you baby." John B sighed into my hair. "You boys have nothing to be sorry for, and besides Jb you don't need anymore trouble, 'm glad you're here now to help calm me down and to help me pick up the pieces." I kissed his jaw and nuzzled against his neck again. "Besides that wasn't what sent me over the edge... on this day 4 years ago, my dad decided to drive drunk... and he drove his car right into a lightpost and he died on impact. Sure he was a shitty father but he was still my father. My my aunt said she wished I was in the car with him, so that she wouldn't; h-have to deal with me a-anymore. A-And sure I knew she hated me, but but it was something else to hear her say it, it shattered a piece of my heart. So I I ran and I didn't know where I was going and my feet took me here but then I remembered it was guys night and I didn't want to worry you or intrude or burden you, then I saw the HMS Pogue and decided to climb in, hell if you guys hadn't come out I probably would've slept out here." I finished. "Oh my baby, my sweet sweet girl, my beautiful y/n, none, NONE of that is even remotely true, you- you are kind, sweet, courageous, caring, loving, brave, strong, intelligent, awesome, fun to be around, clever, creative, and above all loved, you are loved so so much, more than you know, by Kie, By JJ, By Pope, and Especially by me, Y/n baby I love you, I love you so much it hurts sometimes, I don't know how I'd live without you, in fact I don't think I could, you are my world, you make me so happy, you make me feel so loved, and cared for, your smile warms my heart, and your kisses and hugs warm me from the inside out and I- I think- Hell I know you're it for me, I don't want anyone else, I never will, I'll be here for you no matter what, any place, anytime, just like you are for me. You have never been, nor could you ever, nor will you ever ever be a burden to me, you wouldn't have been intruding the guys love you, right guys?" He asked searching for back up, Pope and JJ jumped in without hesitation. "Besides its wayyyyy to cold for you to sleep out here, you'dve gotten sick silly girl." John B chuckled teasing lightly, booping my nose. "From what you described y/n that's an incredibly toxic environment, and as John B here keeps reminding us, you'll be 17 in 3 days, legally here in North Carolina you can emancipate yourself at 17 just so you know." (I Don't actually know if this is true.) Pope informed us. "Really?" I asked. He nodded. "Baby let me help you, you can stay here live with me, at the Chateau, JJ already practically does, it'll be perfect, you can be somewhere where you're safe and happy, you won't have to deal with your aunt anymore, and we can be together practically all the time. As soon as the court house opens on your birthday I'll drive you down and we'll get you emancipated." Jb exclaimed happily. "A-Are you sure? I mean I don't want to be a burden, an and what if you get tired of me or-"Jb cuts me off with a kiss, "Did you not hear a word of that grand speech I just pored my heart out to you in? You're it for me I could never get tired of you, and you're never a burden to me, but I'll happily remind you, you're not whenever you need me too." He playfully teased. "Okay." I nodded and gave him a kiss. "WOOP WOOOP HELL YEAH MY GIRL'S MOVIN IN!!" Jb cheered as the other two hyped him up, us all dissolving into laughter. Suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head. My eyes lit up and I excitedly smacked JB on the chest to get his attention. "WAIT WAIT wait, I just realized something else." I said excitedly. "What baby what?" He asked excitedly searching my face for a clue. "You're killing us with the suspense spit it out girly." JJ teased. "So and Pope please correct me if I'm wrong, but once I'm emancipated that means legally I'm considered an adult yes?" I asked looking directly at Pope. "Not sure where you're going with this but correct, go on." Pope answered. "Then me moving in with Jb could solve another one of our problems, one of the bigger ones actually." I smiled. "what? which one? Tell us! Tell us!" John B begged playfully tugging on my hands. "It'll get CPS off your back baby, since there'll be a legal adult living with you, you won't have to worry about being taken away anymore." I cheered peppering his face with kisses and breaking into laughter. "HOLY SHIT YESSSSS!!! OH I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" JB cheered scooping me up and twirling us around peppering my face in kisses. The boys whooping and hollering and cheering right along with us, all of us celebrating happily. I was happy something good came out of this day. Once the cheering and celebrating finally died down, I spoke up. "Thank you guys for all that you did today, for not judging me, taking care of me, helping me feel loved and safe." I turned to Pope and wrapped him up in a hug, "Pope thank you for checking my heartrate and keeping a level head, and everything." I released him and he patted my shoulder. "You're welcome, anytime, you're like a little sister to me, I won't let anything happen to you." Pope assured. I smiled and turned to JJ, and engulfed him in a hug which he hastily returned with a ferocious grip "JJ thank you for getting me the water and initiating that group hug, that helped immensely you've no idea." I giggled. "No problem y/n/n like Pope said we're family you're our sister, and not to mention John B would absolutely kick my ass if we let something happen you." JJ snorted making me laugh too. "You know it buddy." JB snickered patting his back. finally I turned to John B, after stepping forward and capturing his lips in a passion filled kiss, I slung my arms around his neck and stared up into his eyes. "John Booker Routledge, I love you so, so much, sometimes it hurts for me too, I know you're it for me too. You are amazing, sweet, brave, caring, loving, loyal, courageous, clever, intelligent, handsome, strong, creative, talented, and utterly awesome, you deserve the world, and more so much more and I hope you get it, in fact I know you will. Thank you for showing me how much I'm loved and for loving me, I know I'm a handful sometimes, so thank you for diving in headfirst and not running away when things get tough, thank you for being my best friend, and thank you for all that you do and all that you will do, I'm incredibly blessed and lucky to have you as my person, and I hope you know how much I love you and that you're loved too, I wouldn't ever be able to live without you either. Thank you for letting me move in and get out of that shitty situation. Thank you thank you from the very bottom of my heart thank you and I love you." I professed happy tears running down both Jb and I's faces our hearts swelling with love at each other's words. Jb just pulled me close and we shared another wonderful fantastic, passion filled kiss. We pulled away smiling like crazy, our foreheads touching. "Thank you for those sweet sweet words baby, i needed that. I need you my love. and I love you too." He whispered sweetly kissing my forehead. "I need you too, for as long as you'll have me." I grinned kissing his forehead. "Forever, I want you forever, does that work for you?" He asked sweetly. "Forever then." I yawned the exhaustion of the day finally hitting me. "Aww you guys are so sweet." Pope said. "Yeah yeah you guys are disgustingly cute, but uh we're still here too." JJ pretended to be offended. "Aww don't be jealous you two. We love you too." I smiled and held my arms open. "Get in here group hug." JB encouraged as JJ and Pope crashed into us toppling us all over onto the ground in a heap of laughter. 'This is nice and all but we're missing someone, we'll have to do this again with Kie, but tomorrow, not tonight, I'm exhausted." I yawned again, curling against Jb as we all lay on the ground. "You want to go to bed sweet girl?" Jb asked holding me against his chest. "Yes please." I nodded. "Okay then." He stood up and dusted himself off, pulling me up and dusting me off as the others dusted themselves off. John B then scooped me up tossing me over his shoulder playfully. "You better not drop me JB." I yelped in warning playfully whacking his back as he walked to the chateau. "Night Pope, Night JJ, y'all sleep tight, and thanks again for everything." I called out. "Nighty Night y/n/n see ya in the morning we're sleeping over so no funny business." JJ called back. "Ew J get your head out of the gutter." I snorted rolling my eyes. "Night y/n, wait will you make breakfast in the morning?" Pope asked as they both followed Jb inside. "Already planning on it." I smiled waving as the screen door slammed behind JB. He carried me into his room, well I guess our room now and flopped me on the bed. "There you are m'lady." He playfully bowed setting my backpack in the corner. "Wait I have to brush my teeth." I said grabbing my toothbrush and running into the bathroom to clean my teeth. Returning to the room when the task was done and settling under the covers after changing into one of JB's shirts. "You look so adorable in my clothes." Jb chuckled lovingly. "Why thank you handsome." I gave him a kiss as he was lent over me. I held his wrist and opened my mouth to say something, changing my mind snapping my mouth shut again and shaking my head while scrunching my nose. "What is it beautiful, don't hide from me and don't ever think there isn't anything in this world that you couldn't tell me." He teased lightly, stroking my cheek gently with his thumb knowing I wanted to say something. "I just.. I was gonna ask you to stay and cuddle, but it's still guys night, and they're waitin for ya." I spoke embarrassed my cheeks heating up. "Oh my sweet, sweet, sweet girl. My silly girl, Fuck them, we've had plenty of guys nights, and we'll have plenty more. All I want to do is curl up with you, hold you close and get some sleep, and that is exactly what we are going to do." He laughed lightly tickling my sides then climbing under the covers and pulling me close, then covering my ears. "YO POPE! JJ! GOODNIGHT ME AND Y/N ARE GOING TO BED! Y'ALL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! WE'LL GO NIGHT FISHING NEXT GUYS NIGHT!." He hollered making me laugh. "NIGHT JB WE'RE JUST GONNA PLAY VIDEO GAMES THEN CRASH!" Pope yelled back. 'NIGHT JOHN B SEE YOU GUYS IN THE MORNING!" JJ also hollered a reply. "There that's settled." John B laughed tucking my hair behind my ear. "Goodnight John B. I love you and I meant every word I said today, and thanks again for everything." I said kissing him. "Goodnight y/n my love, I love you too and I meant every word I said today too, and you're welcome for everything, can't wait for your breakfast in the morning, and I always sleep the best when I'm with you." He said lovingly kissing me back. "I sleep better when I'm with you too John B." I whispered. "It warms my heart to hear that, I'm so happy." He chuckled softly rubbing my back again as we drifted off into dreamland, happy, safe, warm, and in love together.

John B Routledge x Reader
John B Routledge Imagines
John B Routledge Imagine
John B Routledge x Reader you get hurt
John B Routledge x Reader you get sick
John B Routledge x Reader fluff
John B Routledge x Reader he's worried about you
John B Routledge x Reader He takes care of you
John B Routledge x Reader Comfort
John B Routledge fluff
John B Routledge x Reader
John B Routledge x Pogue Reader
John B Routledge x reader you're upset
John B Routledge x Reader you cry
John B Routledge x reader you're overwhelmed
John B Routledge x Bad day
John B Routledge x reader you have a bad day
John B Routledge x reader you have a nightmare
John B Routledge x reader you have a panic attack
John B Routledge x reader you're abused
John B Routledge x reader you have an abusive family member
John B Routledge x reader he finds out you've been abused