Leave the World on Read

Breakdown, Breakaway ( Jeremy Gilbert x Reader )

My father was being a selfish, lazy, prick, as usual, ordering me to do any and everything he could think of that he didn't want to do, Elena needed to be saved from being a victim of Katherine's again, Stefan wanted my help to find leverage over Katherine, Damon wanted to set a trap and wanted my help to make it a good one, Bonnie needed me to help her track down a grimoire, Klaus asked for my help in researching about a certain curse, Rebekah needed assistance tracking down an old friend, Elijah was having trouble figuring out what will stop Esther, Finn, and Mikael, and those were just the supernatural problems, on top of all that, Caroline begged me to help out with the carwash fundraiser, Tyler and I needed to work on the English assignment we were partnered on, I had a history paper due to Alaric, and he'd needed my help to decorate the gym for the decade dance, Matt and I needed to finish our science project, and I owed him one, which he wanted to cash in by having me help him out with inventory at the grill. The only person who hasn't asked or expected anything of me was my sweet, caring, boyfriend, Jeremy whom I definitely don't deserve, we haven't had time for a date or a hang out in what feels like forever, and yet he's been so so sweet and understanding. Apparently I wasn't figuring out the curse fast enough for Klaus, Elijah was beyond frustrated with the lack of information on Esther, Finn, and Mikael, Bonnie and I were hitting dead end after dead end, none of my ideas were good enough for Damon, Rebekah was insanely annoyed with how well the person she was looking for covered their tracks, I had been called, slow, ignorant, annoying, Damon told me all my ideas were stupid, he thought I was smarter than that, Stefan's just straight up ignoring me,though hopefully not on purpose, I had barely gotten the schoolwork done and it all felt like it could've been better, I dropped two giant jars of pickles, and knocked over and subsequently broke an entire case of glass ketchup bottles doing inventory, which I did pay for, the company the decorations for the decade dance were ordered from lost ours and delivered the wrong ones. On top of that the car wash didn't raise as much money as we'd hoped so we had to figure something out, and my dad just would not get off my case. I wasn't doing the chores right, I wasn't getting them done fast enough. "Can't you do anything right?!" He fumed smashing a glass against the wall. "I did do it right, I did it exactly the way you always want me to do it!" I huffed exasperated. He decked me across the face, then grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked my head backwards. "DON'T YOU TALK BACK TO ME!!! YOU WORTHLLESS, DUMBASS, WHORE, YOU KNOW WHAT!!??! GET OUT! GET OUT AND NEVER COMEBACK!!" My used to be father roared. "GOOD, THAT'S THE ONLY GOOD THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR ME!" I Roared back now sobbing. "You little BITCH!" He reared back and punched me again, right where he did it the first time. " I'm so fucking done, with this, with you, with all of it. You will never hear from me again." I growled. "Perfect, pack your shit." He snarled shoving me down the hallway. "With pleasure." I muttered to myself beginning to pack as fast as I could while he stalked back off to the living room to continue drinking himself into a stupor. After filling my suitcase, my duffel, and two backpacks, with everything that I owned. I tossed them out the window so he wouldn't, try to steal anything. Grabbed my purse and car keys, and headed out the door. After loading my belongings into my car, I got in and let out a breath, "Good Riddance Assshole, see you never." I yelled out as I back out of the driveway. I thanked my lucky stars that when my grandmother on my mom's side passed, she left me the family lake house two and half to three hours north of here and a small but considerable sum of money. As I began the drive and had time to finally process my emotions, I started sobbing, tears pouring down my cheeks, weeks worth of pent up emotions beginning to bubble over, but after a bit I managed to reign it back in to focus on driving, promising I'll let the rest out later once I got to the lake house. All I knew right now was that I needed space from this place, from the overwhelming, seemingly never ending, requests and expectations. I scoff to myself as I realize in a way my father has done me a favor. I needed to get out of there or I was going to lose myself. My attention was redirected when my phone started buzzing from where I had thrown it on the seat beside me. I glanced at the caller id to see it was Jeremy calling me, I glanced at my car clock to see it was the time we usually checked in with each other. I let it go to voicemail and told myself I'd call him back once I'd gotten to the lake house and calmed down. I turned on the radio and sung along to pass the time and to drown out my screaming thoughts. After another hour or so my stomach growled and so I stopped at a diner for dinner. I used the car's visor mirror to apply some concealer to my black eye, so I didn't have to explain it to anyone. After my hunger was satiated I got back in my car eyeballing my phone to see I had another missed call from Jeremy. I then stopped at a small grocery store and got what I thought I'd need for now at the house. I got back on the road and drove the final stretch. When I finally laid my eyes upon the lake house, my lake house. The weight on my chest and shoulders, started to feel a smidge lighter. It was nearing dusk, still light out. I walk down to the dock and took a deep breath of the fresh air. From the dock I looked at the house, it was a raised beach house style home, with half the underneath walled in to create an extra room. I smiled at the memory of helping my grandpa put up those walls and making an outdoor gym complete with a hung punching bag under the other half. I decided to grab my boxing gloves from my car and dust off and re-hang the bag. I did some warmup stretching, jumping jacks, and burpees before latching on the gloves and letting loose. I punched and hit and kicked and fought over and over and over again. Letting all the anger and hurt bubble and overflow. "STUPID, JACKASS, DIMWITTED, UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH, ENTITLED, GROSS, DRUNK, BITTER, INCOMPETENT, 'y/n can you do anything right' Y/n all your ideas are stupid, I thought you were smarter than this', 'your slacking do better', you're worthless' 'you're a failure', 'you're not enough'... n-n-e-ee-ve-e-er e-e-no-u-gh, I-I I'm t-t-try-ing." my mocking, dissolved into sobs, as my knees buckled, and my chest tightened, lungs burning, feeling constricted, like I couldn't breathe, my hands, face, arms, legs, feet, tingling, numbness crawling, panic sending ice water through my veins. It was all I could do to wriggle my phone out of my back pocket and press the number for Jeremy's speed dial. I curled into a ball the phone next to my ear, I don't know how long it rang for before he finally picked up. "Y/n! babe I was getting worri- whoa whoa whoa, hey hey hey, easy easy, beautiful, 'm here, 'm right here, can you breathe with me?" Jeremy asked switching into worried boyfriend mode once he picked up on my distress. "J-je-r I c- I-I ca-an't..." I tried to will my voice to speak but to no avail. "It's okay, It's okay, don't try to talk, right yet, let's just breathe okay pretty girl, just breathe." He soothed over the phone. I could hear his footsteps as he paced. "s-s-so-o-r-ry." I choked out. "Nononnono it's perfectly fine, there's absolutely nothing for you to be apologizing for sweetheart. Can you focus on me? focus on my voice please, can you do that for me?" He comforted. "mm-m-mmh-hhm." I mumbled. "Alright that's great, good, you're doing great. Breathe. You're going to be okay, whatever it is it's going to be okay, I promise. Just Breathe and remember that you've been in this place before. You've been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared... and you've survived it. Breathe and know you can and you will survive this too. I know you will, I believe in you, I'm so so proud of you, you are strong, and beautiful, and brilliant, and kind, and clever, and brave, and caring, and sweet, and... and I could go on forever. These feelings can't break you, yes they're painful, and debilitating... Yes you are allowed to feel this way, these feelings are real and they are warranted and they are valid. But we can sit with them, and we will sit with them and eventually they will pass, I promise they will pass... Maybe not immediately, which that's completely normal and okay, but very very soon they are going to fade, and when they do you'll look back on this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now but keep breathing... in... out... and again.... in... out... This will pass, I promise it will pass. I'm right here, right here with you, and 'm not going anywhere... I love you sweet girl, so, so much." Jeremy continued to soothe and comfort, walking me down until my sobs died down to sniffles, and my chest no longer felt as though it was squeezing the life out of me. "T-th-ank you, J-jer." I whisper sniffed. "Don't mention it... I've gotcha and you've got me, we're in this together, you and I." He softly chuckled. "I-I love y-you too J-Jeremy." I whispered. "Glad to hear it, me too sweet girl, me too. Now could you please tell me where you're at? I just drove to your house but your car wasn't there... I don't want you to be alone. Please?" Jeremy pleaded. "M-my used t-to be dad, ki-kicked me o-out... 'm at the l-lake house." I breathed. "B-but's l-late, I-it's not safe t-t-o drive at night." I quickly added even though I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his warm, comforting arms. "mmm.... you're right about that... bbbuuuuttt, it's even more not safe for you to be by yourself in the middle of the woods, soooo....  I'll just drive real careful." Jeremy countered. "N-no you d-don't have to, s-stay safe, p-please?" I begged. "But- y- I- mmm, fine, only cause I don't want to cause you more worry." Jeremy relented, or pretended to relent, hopefully the latter. "T-thank you Jer. For everything, I love you, so much, my sweet boy. I wanna go take a shower m' all sweaty and gross." I softy chuckled. "That sounds like a great idea sweetheart, why don't you do that and I'll check in with you in a bit, okay beautiful?" Jeremy chuckled back, I could just picture him softly shaking his head. "Okay will do." I nodded as if he could see me. "I love you too, y/n." Jeremy reminded. "thank you... talk to you shortly." I sighed. "You better pick up." He chuckled. "I will." I stated. We hung up and I grabbed one of my backpacks that I knew had some of my clothes and the groceries and dragged my exhausted, worn out self into the house. After putting away the groceries, I walked the backpack in the bedroom I always slept in and picked out a t-shirt, that just so happened to be Jeremy's, sweatpants, and hoodie- also Jeremy's. I folded them neatly and set them in a pile on the bathroom counter. I turned on the water and stepped into the steaming spray once it warmed up. I tipped my head up letting the water wash over me, focusing on the way it felt, comforting, warm, familiar, on that feeling of it was just a bad day or so, not a bad life, let's just wash it off and start fresh. I cleaned up, washed and conditioned my hair, taking my sweet ass time and enjoying it before finally shutting the water off and getting out. After drying off with a towel, I wrapped my hair in it and put on the clothes, then let my hair down and detangled it. I shuffled my way to the living room and plopped on the couch, wrapping myself in the throw blanket on the back of it. Staring off into space, the utter exhaustion and weariness washed over me, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep on the couch. I don't know how long I slept for, but I was awoken by a knock on the door. I picked up my phone and noted that because I had fallen asleep, I'd missed Jeremy's call. I slipped my phone into my pocket and pulled the blanket tighter around me, shuffling to the door. A quick glance through the peephole and my suspicions were confirmed, he was only pretending to placate me. "Oh Jer..." I hummed swinging the door open. " Y/n... oh baby, your eye.... d-did he do this?? I-I couldn't - I needed to see you and from the way you sounded and I know and could tell you need me, even though you didn't say so." Jeremy explained and exclaimed gently reaching forward and cupping my face, getting a good look at my now black eye, reminding me the shower had washed off the concealer. I could only nod as my eyes misted over and fresh tears fell. Jeremy wrapped me in his arms, as I launched myself at him, scooting us into the house, as he shut and locked the door behind us. "'m so sorry, sweet girl, you shouldn't have had to go through that." Jeremy sighed in a hushed whisper. " 's not your fault." I soothed. "Well I'm here now, I won't let anybody, lay a hand on you ever again, I promise." Jeremy placed a kiss on my forehead. "I trust you." I whispered back. "C'mon let's get you to bed, you've gotta be exhausted baby." Jeremy coddled. "You must be tired too? from the drive? or do you need some food, or something to drink?" I asked and offer. "you are too sweet, 'm fine for now though, just wanna curl up with my girl." He smiled softly down at me. "And what if I told you I want to curl up with my man?" I smiled back. "I'd say hell yeah." He grinned. "and also you look amazing in my clothes." He laughed. "Thank you." I said the end of it falling off into a yawn. "Yep, okay, up we go, let's get your sleepy cute butt to bed." Jeremy nodded scooping me into his arms bridal style. I giggled softly as he strode to the wrong bedroom at first then I directed him to the right one. Jeremy then softly placed me onto the bed tugging my sweatpants off and tossing them onto the chair in the corner doing the same with his/my sweatshirt, then following it with all of his clothes except his boxers. I wiggled under the covers Jeremy following suit after switching off the light, then pulling me to his chest. I pressed a kiss to it, then laid with my ear above his heart listening to the steady beat. "Thank you again for everything, everything you do, you have done, and for everything you will do, I appreciate everything immensely, and I love you so much Jeremy. " I whispered. "You're welcome for everything, I've always got you anytime, anyplace, just the way you've got me, and I love you too so so much Y/n." Jeremy captured my lips in a passionate kiss, his hand drawing little patterns on my hip as I drew them on his chest, soon we finally fell asleep, happy, safe, warm, and together. We'd no doubt talk about it tomorrow, but I had the utmost confidence we'll get through this, just like we've gotten through other rough spots... together.