Leave the World on Read

Muddy Mishap ( Klaus Mikaelson x Reader)

It was a normal day here at the Mikaelson house, Elijah was planning, Rebekah was shopping, Klaus was out taking care of some problem, and Kol was... well just as bored as I was. So in an attempt to eradicate said boredom I was sneakily pulling out a nerf gun I had hidden a while ago just for bored moments like this. By some miracle I managed to pull it out, line up a shot, and just as he was dramatically whinging about just how bored he was I cut off his speech with a foam dart to the side of the head. "- Like I am totally, insufferably, immeasurably, bore-" He whipped his head around to me, eyes wide. "You didn't." Kol pretended to be shocked. "Oh but I totally did." I smirked sticking my tongue out at him. "This MEANS WAR y/l/n!" He gasped scrambling off the couch and out of the room to I assume grab his nerf arsenal. I took this as my opportunity to skedaddle and go and grab some of my arsenal, and my charmed bracelet that, freya made me, it magically mutes all sounds I make, hey it's only fair, he has super hearing. I continued to make my way through the compound, trying to stay in the shadows to hopefully catch him off guard again. "Ha-Ha!" I hear before I feel a dart to my back. But he's gone just as quick. "Kooll come out, come out, wherever you are..." I taunted. Trying to use this as an opportunity to brush up on some of my self defense skills, I silently stole to the library figuring I could get the best tactical vantage point and access to the vents, against his super speed I need any advantage I can get. Once in the library, after I've determined it to be clear for now, I swiftly and gracefully climbed atop a set of the shelves, laying flat on top, to be hidden from view. Then like a hunter who had baited his trap, I awaited my victim. It took less time than I thought. "Olly- Olly- Oxen- Freee!" Kol taunted entering the library and unknowingly giving me his location. Thawap, Thawap, two darts to his head, one being a suction cup dart so it actually stuck to his forehead. "It's a uni-kol!" I snickered snapping a pic with my phone, ducking and dodging his dart, it thunking the wall above me before scrambling into the vents. "Real, funny, just you wait y/l/n, JUST YOU WAIT." he playfully threatened. Scooting along the vents via memory I managed to shimmy my way to the rec room, and drop in. However I wasn't expecting him to have figured that out and sped over before I got there. "I've got the high ground now, GIVE IT UP Y/L/N!" He shouted. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!" I yelled back. He got me in the forehead, "YOU SHOT ME FIRST YOU CRAZY FUCKIN MORON!" He laugh hollered, then got another shot this time to my ass cheek. "YOU JUST SHOT ME IN THE ASS! YOU SOCIOPATHIC COCKALORUM TEAPOT!!" I Shouted dramatically. "BITCH, I'M A PSYCHOPATH, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!!!" Kol cackled, as I got him another time. We both pulled the triggers at the same time, I got nailed in the shoulder and him in the gut. We both froze as the door swung open, and in walked Elijah. "Y/n if you'd please take the child outside for a bit, perhaps a walk along the bayou, to see what nature has to offer today, the adults are trying to concentrate, please." He asked cordially. "Sure, Sorry for the disruption, Child, you heard the man, let's go." I snickered using Elijah's insult. "Fun police." Kol muttered to Elijah sticking his tongue out at him as he passed. I quickly ran upstairs and put away my bracelet for safe keeping and put on an old pair of shoes before we left. As Kol and I began to walk along the bayou drinking in the nature, I smiled at him. "Well, you have to admit that was fun while it lasted." I chuckled. "Indeed, we should definitely do it again sometime." He nodded in agreement. "Already planning on it." I cheesed back. "So what should we eat for dinner tonight?" I pondered. "You know I've been in the mood for a good steak for the past few days." Kol informed me. "Really? I've been in the mood for spaghetti... maybe we can combine the two somehow?" I wondered. "We'll check the recipe books when we get bac-" Kol was cut off by the sound of some twigs snapping, followed by, a voice unfamiliar to me. "Kol?! Is that you??" it was a female voice. "Oh shit... this isn't good." Kol muttered. "I'm guessing based upon your reaction, you are not happy to see whomever that is, nor were you expecting them?" I asked in a harsh whisper. "No not happy to see them, however I was kind of expecting them, they're just here a bit sooner than I expected." Kol quickly elaborated. "Then what do they want?" I asked having a suspicion. "Would you be surprised to know they're most likely here for retaliation?" Kol tried for nonchalant. "Shocker." I sarcastically muttered rolling my eyes. "But uh bigger problem, is they have even less restraint than I do when it comes to human blood. We need to disguise your scent, quickly." Kol urged. "And just how am I supposed to do that exactly?" I sassed. "I -Uh- umm." Kol glanced around. "Aha!... sorry bout this y/n." Kol shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry for wha-KOL!" I screeched as he suddenly whisked me into his arms. "Kol I know it's you I can hear your voice, but who else is with you? a snack perhaps?" Came the voice again closer this time. "Really sorry y/n so, sorry, please don't kill me for this." Kol begged quickly. "For wha- kol. Don't you dare. Don't. Do NOT- AGKKKGK- ooohohmp!" I caught on to his idea too little too late and squealed involuntarily as he chucked me into the mud of the bayou, landing with a splat, getting absolutely and entirely, doused head to toe, in thick, gooey, smelly, pluff mud. I took note of the searing pain asending up my arm, and when I looked down at it, it was hanging at an awkward angle and unnaturally twisted. I quickly scrambled up, and sogged my way back to the bank. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK KOL MIKAELSON!!!"  I screeched. "Oh dear, what happened to you?" I could now see the woman the voice belonged to.  "She lost a bet." Kol jumped in before I could speak. "Yep. Lost a bet." I nodded through gritted teeth. "Oh, well I'm Sarah, of the deep water clan ... I'd shake your hand but I don't want to catch something." She sneered at me. "Oh, isn't she charming Kol, how'd you meet her, did ya wind up in a bitchy r us?" I scoffed. "Um not quite." Kol interjected. "What do you want blondie." I sighed not bothering with her name. "Nothing to do with you harlot, who even is she Kol?" She hissed. "The fuck did you just call me?" I growled starting to take a step forward. I was stopped by Kol's hand to my chest pushing me behind him. "Easy, she's a family friend, an old family friend, in fact nah she's family, so I'd lay off the insulting, unless you want to leave here in a body bag." Kol threatened. I smirked at her from behind Kol, silently gloating that he's on my side. "Now what do you want?" Kol spat exasperated. "I come with a message from the clan, you ever so much as shed a hair on our territory, or even breathe in our general direction again, much less attempt what you attempted two days ago again, you. are. dead. Got it?" Sarah snarled before whirling around and stalking off. "Yeah, yeah, nothing I haven't heard before." Kol called after her disappearing figure. He turned back to me an apologetic look across his features. "So SO sorry about the mud... you alright?" He asked. "Take a closer look... what's wrong with this picture Kol?, besides the fact I look like a mud man." I huffed. "Uhhh....oh... ouch." He winced upon realizing one of my arms was not how it was supposed to be. "ya THINK!" I scolded turning and marching back to the house. "Y/n wait. wait. wait. please hang on. I said I was sorry, I- uh I'll do anything to make it up to you.. just please don't tell Klaus, please." Kol begged following me into the house. "Don't tell me what? Brother?" We stopped short of bumping into my boyfriend in the entryway. As he glared at Kol. "Jesus, sweetheart, is that you under all that muck? what happened?" Klaus dropped his threatening demeanor, switching into worried boyfriend mode. "Well, Kol pissed off- AH AH AH, watch the arm, WATCH THE ARM!" I recoiled in pain as Klaus accidentally brushed over it trying to inspect me for injuries. "What?!" Klaus panicked. "99% sure it broke when I landed on it after Kol all but punted me into the bayou." I hissed, "Look at it, it sure as hell isn't sitting right." I encourage. "He WHAT?!!" Klaus screamed. "I-Iin my defense, I was covering up her scent to prevent her from becoming a snack for a vamp who was here to threaten the family." Kol spat. "Not the family- just here to threaten you, for whatever thing you attempted two nights ago." I interjected. "Okay, let's get you fixed up, then cleaned up my love." Klaus directed at me in a sweet tone, before dropping it as he turned back to Kol with a snarl, "I'll deal with you later." He growled. Kol sped off out of sight. "Right then, I shall carry you, so you don't track mud through the house." Klaus informed me as I nodded at him. He carried me upstairs and into our shared ensuite bathroom. "First things first." Klaus spoke aloud grabbing a washcloth and wetting it before bringing it up to my face wiping away as much muck as he could. "Drink." he then instructed biting into his wrist then holding it to my lips. "Do I have too?" I asked begrudgingly. "Unless you'd like Elijah to rebreak your arm in order to set it properly, then have 4 to six weeks of near constant pain, in which case be my guest." He smirked knowing he'd gotten his point across. "Jerk." I quipped swallowing a few mouthfuls. I stood with my eyes closed as I felt my arm reset and heal. "Good as new." Klaus boasted moving it around to be sure. "Thanks...I'mma get this mud off now..." I shook my head crossing the room to the glass walled cubicle and turning the water on then adjusting the temperature. "Would you like some assistance with that as well, darling?" Klaus inquired playfully as I ducked into the spray. "Be my guest." I jokingly sassed back mocking his words from earlier. "With pleasure." Klaus laughed back, climbing in with me. Klaus took his sweet time, shampooing, then conditioning my hair, helping me get all the mud out of every cranny, placing sweet little kisses to the clean skin as it was rinsed, as a gesture of thanks, I shampooed and conditioned his hair as well, as washed his body, pressing kisses against his skin too, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. "So I was hoping for spaghetti for dinner, if it wasn't any trouble, I can help cook." I stated making conversation as we stepped out of the shower drying off. "No trouble at all, if that's what my love wants, then that's what my love shall have. I also wouldn't be opposed to having a gorgeous sous chef, though it might be a tad distracting." Klaus snickered softly as he dressed. "You'll manage." I smiled and lightly patted his cheek. "I'll head down and start gathering the ingredients." Klaus informed pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I'll be down in a moment, just have to moisturize." I agreed. I watched him walk away then turned to his dresser. Picking a shirt and an old pair of sweats of his, I popped them on, with the 'excuse' of his clothes were comfier than mine, moisturized my limbs, and meandered downstairs rejoining Klaus in the kitchen. "What would you like me to do first chef?" I asked announcing my presence, chuckling to myself upon seeing him swaying his hips to the light jazz music he had playing lowly in the background. "Help chop the veg-" Klaus trailed off mid sentence turning around from the fridge to see me in his clothes. "Ugh you drive me mad woman... remember how I said just having you as my sous chef would be distracting?" Klaus playfully groaned. "Yes, and?" I asked acting like I had no clue as to what he was hinting at. "This is 10 times more distracting, seeing the woman I love in my clothes, marking you as mine. You did this on purpose." He pretended to be upset. "Maybe, Maybe not, the world will never know, now chop chop dinner's not gonna cook itself!" I laughed bumping my hip against his playfully. I took a spot at the counter in front of one of the chopping boards he'd placed on the counter and picked up a bell pepper and began to chop. Klaus joined me, as we laughed and played, stealing kisses, and little bites of food, playfully scolding each other, dancing around to the music, ultimately making a delicious meal, spaghetti, roasted veggies, and a meat sauce, made with a freshly ground steak that was in the fridge. (That's what you get for throwing me in the mud Kol, Sorry, not sorry.) Once the meal was devoured and we were full, happy and placated. Klaus and I left the dishes for Kol to do, moving to the library where we finished our evening before heading off to bed once we were tired.