History (Nathan Gardner)

Heartache

"Please just go Nathan.." I look away from him, avoiding his powerful gaze he's holding on me. I'm just trying to hold back my emotions, deep down all I want to do is hug him and tell him how much I love him.

Although I ask him to go, his hesitation is powerful, and to my surprise..

"No.." he straight up refuses, turning to look at him, a little confused as he doesn't do as I ask. He stands from the couch and walks over to me. Holding his hands out but I try to push him away..

"Please.. I.." He grabs my arms to stop me, and he's suddenly planting a kiss on my lips and he's forceful with it. We stumble back until my back hits the wall, I literally melt into the kiss. I try to steady myself by holding onto his shirt.. his arms move their way up my waist, and when he pulls away he's cupping my face, forcing me to look at him..

"I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out.." he tells me, not letting his eyes leave mine. All I can do is nod..

"Just listen, don't talk.."

"I promise..I didn't kiss her..I swear I never, ever thought she would try anything like that, sure I've been nice to her. She's new member of the staff, I always am to new people.. and I'm sorry if I ever gave her the wrong impression.. I never meant to.."

The way he tells me this just makes me feel awful.. I knew this was going to happen and I put him through this. I should have told him. I should have said something to stop this..

"I didn't get a chance to talk to her.. I followed you straight out.."

He turns to face me on the couch, resting his hand on my thigh.. I look down at his hand, the simple touch makes me blush..

"Answer me honestly..Why would I throw away the best thing that's happened to me for sometime.... for someone like her?"

"I don't know.. I just saw you two together and.."

"You saw her kiss me and thought that I would find her attractive and leave you for her.."

When I don't answer, he lifts my lowered head that's looking down at my hands.. he lifts it with a finger placed under my chin to look at him..

"If you really want me to go, I'll go.. but please don't throw what we have away for this.. just think about giving us another chance.."

I must take too long in thinking about it.. I take in his pretty features on his face.. but when I don't answer, he lets out a heavy sigh and stands away from me.

"Well.. I guess.. uh.. I'll see you at school.. tomorrow.." He runs a hand through his hair before leaning down and softly plants a kiss on my forehead..

"I can still pick you up if you want you know.. you don't need to get the bus or anything.. we can still be friends right?" He lets out a sigh before placing another kiss on my head..

"I love you.. and if you want to give us another chance, I'll be waiting.."

I watch him with tear filled eyes as he walks out, closing the door behind him.

I've left him go? I gave up everything for him and I've just let him walk out? I curl myself up on the couch, holding my knees close to my chest, letting the tears fall as my heart aches for him.

It's been a few days, since Nathan left, I haven't spoken with him, haven't seen him.. I guess he's giving me chance to think? I spent the next days on my couch feeling sorry for myself, he hadn't called or text to see if I was ok..

Anyway, it's my first day back, since it happened. I'm absolutely dreading it. Seeing everyone, having people throw looks or questions at me.. and then seeing her..