History (Nathan Gardner)

Exam

It's the morning of my exam. Am I calm? Nope.
Would it help if Nathan was here? Also Nope.

Actually, he probably would help, if I wasn't feeling so sick.. the nervous feeling I have, causing me to feel that I could puke at any minute is making me feel even worse..

I've been trying to remember all my notes, all my planning, everything Nathan has told me, everything Ms Davis has guided me through.

Lucky for me, my exam is on the morning so I'm able to get it out of the way, and relax the rest of the day.. that's if I pass of course...if I don't well that's a whole different story.

My nerves only get worse every time the school posts on social media of Nathan overseas, looking happy to be exploring a differently country, standing so closely to her.. that makes me feel sick even more.

With Nathan being away, Ms Davis picks me up that morning, my hands are still shaking, and she can tell as soon as I get in her car.

"It's ok to be nervous.." she tells me, as she notices my panic.

"I know.. but I can't stop feeling sick, and my hands haven't stopped shaking since I woke up.."

"Sick? Nerves?"

"Yeah..I'm terrified I'm going to fail, and then I'll disappoint you.. Nathan.. everyone.."

"You aren't going to fail, or disappoint anyone..you've done very well this year and have passed everything else.. now it's only the last hurdle until you're a qualified teacher.."

"I just.. don't wanna be a let down.. you've all put so much time into helping me.."

"Have you heard from Nathan yet?"

"No.. well he sent me a text for me getting up, they'll be in lesson over there now so.."

"Right.. maybe it would help you calm down if you called him?"

"No.. I just want to get this over and done with.."

When we make it to the school, I head straight to the classroom.. so nothing can distract me. Ms Davis follows, but quickly tells me she's not allowed to sit in the exam with me. She leaves me with a warm good luck hug.

I'm left alone with my thoughts, until just before the bell calls, a nice looking gentleman appears in the doorway.

"Hi.. can I help you?" I ask and he shoots me a soft smile.

"Yeah.. Katie is it? I'm Lewis.. I'll be your examiner today.."

"Oh.. uh.. hi.. pleased to meet you.." I gesture to shake his hand which he kindly accepts.

"Likewise.. so how are you feeling?"

"I can't lie.. I'm nervous.."

"Well don't be.. I'm not here to look for the bad.. I'm here to see what everyone's been telling me.. how great you are.. just pretend I'm another student, sitting at the back.."

"I don't mean to be rude.. but how are you so young and an examiner? I thought it would be some old guy.."

"I'll try and take that as a compliment.. but.. I didn't go straight into teaching like you.. I wanted to go straight into judging the teachers..it's a lot.. more interesting.."

"Oh.."

"Don't worry, it'll be fine.." my eyes shoot down to where he places his hand on top of mine on the desk.. before he retreats to the back of the class just as the students start making their way into class.

Now I would be lying if I didn't keep catching glances from Lewis..but I soon relaxed and settled into the teaching, I think it went pretty well, i couldn't tell at all from Lewis' face, that man was made for poker I swear. Thankfully the morning didn't drag on and it was all over in a quick flash. The bell rang for lunch and everyone quickly departed as soon as I dismissed them.