When a Man Enters the Shrinks Office...

9B)

Flora nods at him understandingly.
She thinks for a while before she continues.
"I've been thinking about your relationship with Eddy. You two are very, very close. You are surrounded by music when you two are around each other. All the time. Do you think in your mind Eddy might also be associated with the music you play? And because he is always around you, all the music you know is now related to him in your head?"
Flora pauses for a moment, let a moment of silence fall to see if Brett will respond.
He does.

Brett looks puzzled.
"That is a strange way of looking at it."

"I'll try to explain a bit better. I feel that there is a very deep connection between you. You are so much more than normal friends, and I think even much more than normal lovers. I think you are so much entwined together in feeling and in what you do, that it affects your whole lives. Music seems to be your catalyst in this whole thing. I think you have more feelings for him than you would like to admit, or even that you even know yourself."
Flora watches if her words reach Brett before she continues.
"I think that on that particular unfortunate day that you told me about, the dating thing, you experienced an extreme sense of rejection. I think it made you feel like your whole being was in danger. I think it was a real trauma."
She pauses for a moment.
"So to shield you from the pain, you cut off your music all together when being with Eddy or thinking about him. Just like what you did in the past when you broke up with other lovers and now don't want to listen to the music you associate them with."
And now for the conclusion. Flora wonders if she is right.
"But the problem in this situation is that you associate all your music with Eddy, so nothing is left. And that is why everything is gone. What do you think about this theory?"

Flora has difficulty to read Brett's face.
He is still sloughing in his chair, hairs in front of his eyes. His face still quite blank.
But that deadpanning is quite difficult to uphold at this moment.
Brett is actually dumbstruck.
The more he thinks about it, the more he feels this might even be quite legit.
Has he been over-thinking this so much? Let music be only for when they are happily together? So that he now is punishing himself for the feelings he has? Oh man! That is not how it should be. Music has always been his ally, his comfort, his passion! From birth! So why is it now entwined with Eddy's presence? Is it that when he decided that Eddy would never feel the same way he did, he tried to abandoned both?
His deadpan mask shows cracks.

"I think you might be right about that..." He suggests softly.
"Ow man. That's so messed up! That is not how it should be. I know I... I... I love Eddy..."
God, it's so hard to acknowledge.
"But I want it to be separated of music. It's not the same. What should I do?"
He looks up at the woman before him. Finally his eyes not dead, but with an intense and distressed look. He lets her see behind the facade he has build.
Flora can't be happier: This is really a breakthrough.

"Now you are aware of this, maybe you can just start listening and playing again? Just take your violin and look for a piece you already knew before you two met each other. And just start playing. Think about the notes. Think about the melody. Feel the music. Just the tones, intonation and nothing else. And maybe you can see the music for itself and Eddy for Eddy again. That would do them both more justice."

Brett sighs.
"Okay. I'll try. I need to start somewhere, don't I. I can't go on like this anyway."

"One last question before you go. Are you really sure Eddy doesn't feel the same way you do?" Flora asks cautiously.

"Yes I am. Miracles like that don't happen in the normal world you know. Only in movies."

"Maybe. I have another thing I want to suggest. I really think it would be wise to talk to him about your feelings for him. If you don't, it might get too big in your head again after a while and you will be in so much more trouble then."
Flora knows he should. She hopes she can convince him to do so. Maybe not now, but then later.
"Work your way out of this together. Your friendship deserves this truth. I really don't think it will break it. But for now start with small steps. First you need to get the music back. I'll see you in 2 weeks. If things get worse, call me and I will see you sooner."
She smiles encouragingly.
"Good luck Brett."

Brett nods and gets up, glad he has some kind of plan.
Although he really refuses to think about confessing to Eddy.
Like hell that's going to happen!