When a Man Enters the Shrinks Office...

14)

On the other side of the line he hears the upbeat voice of his overseas friend.

"Hi Brett, I just wanted to know how you are! I saw you two hit the 3 mil. Sweet man! But of course I'm worried about you. Are you holding on?"

"Well, yeah, I'll live. I have the right medication for the MG which help enormously."

"That's good to hear. And for the rest? How are you mentally doing?"

"What do you mean Ray?" he asks cautiously. Did Eddy tell him he's been seeing a shrink?

"What? I thought there were problems between you two. Because you not speaking to Eddy? He told me last phone call. I thought he might have broken your heart or something...?"

Brett's eyebrows shoot up.
That's a bold statement to make. How much does this man actually know? And who told him?

"Why would he do that Ray? We have never been a couple you know."

"I know, but... You also didn't want to? Hmm. I have always thought you did. That you both did actually, but were discreet about it. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted things wrongly."
Ray really sounds confused on the other side.

Shall he be honest? Shall he tell Ray? The greatest shipper of them all? Maybe it will be a relieve to let someone know.. .

"He doesn't see us that way Ray. Unfortunately... And he also doesn't have an inkling how I feel or even comprehend these feelings I have. I didn't tell him out straight you know. I can't. He's as oblivious as always."

"Oh?" A moment silence.
"Oooh! Oh no... Now I get it. So you... do? But he's...not? So it's one sided?"
Brett hears Ray's mind having problems comprehending.
"But why wouldn't he? You're an amazing guy. I'm so sorry for you Brett. I truly am. I really thought you both would... get together eventually, you know? Just that you wanted privacy."

"I know Ray, I know. You are our biggest fan in that area. Obnoxiously you." Brett snickers.
"As you know now you were right about me all this thime. But unfortunately not about Eddy. So please would you not suggest it anymore? It hurts too much at this moment. You are also the only one I told this so far, so keep this to yourself will you?"

"Of course! I will not torment you further with that. Sorry that I did before. I never could have guessed your love would be unrequited. It would have been more logical the other way around even, with all the remarks Eddy made in the past. The bastard! To leave you hanging like that. And thank you for trusting me with this. I won't tell anyone. Not a living soul. Although... Can I tell Jordon? I will burst if I can't tell him. You know he is also very discreet."

Brett shrugs.
"Ok, fine. That's okay .You are practically one anyway. I'm glad you are still happily together. It's a small consolation you two have met thanks to us. You both are still fine hiding together safely in that self-made closet of yours?"

"We have to. You know what it's like to be gay in this world, especially with high demanding Asian parents. Better shut and lock the door so nobody knows or sees. You know that there are still a lot of people who don't agree with homosexuality. You realize that a lot of shippers are actually grossed out when their fantasies become real. You saw what happened with some K-pop artist. It's so twisted! Even in Singapore where you live now it's illegal to be homosexual! Can you imagine that?! It's so unfair. Fortunately I'm not alone. Jordon and I, we are in it together. I'm happy."

Brett lets out a sigh. It would be so nice to have a significant other who you can trust and share your feelings with. He's a bit jealous, but also very happy for him. Brett's mind wanders off for a moment.

"It would be so much better if people would be open about it, don't you think Ray? Do you know that 1 in 20 people are attracted to someone of the same sex? And I'm not even talking about the additional bi or other forms. To talk about it freely would take away so much pain for so many people. Why can't we just love who we love? And love how we want to love them. Why do people judge so much. I'm so sick and tired about it."

"I understand what you mean. That would be the best. But for me it's that I first need to grow stronger to be open about this. So let me keep the doors shut for now please?"

"Naturally. Your secret is safe with me. As always. Now let me practice that dreadful Sibelius in peace will you?"

"Good luck Brett. You can do it! Say hello to Eddy. And just hold on. Keep your spirit up. Better times will come. I know that for sure."
He hangs up, probably running off to his sweet cute boyfriend with this news.
Brett puts his telephone down to continue with the first bars of the page.

Eddy has just entered the room when Brett was saying his goodbye, surprised Brett is on the phone.

"Who were you talking to?" he curiously asks.

"Ray. He says hi and says to practice your butt off. Sends total LingLing vibes."

Brett starts quickly the first notes so Eddy can't ask any more questions.