When a Man Enters the Shrinks Office...

19) 16 dec

So the next day's Eddy watches Brett in a totally different light. Breakfast has been confusing. He is pondering about what he truly feels.
He sums up what he knows:
Our relationship is unique, I am not this close with anyone else and honestly I don't want to. But it's not what people see as a normal friendship, is it?
I love it when he plays.
I like his humor. His whit. His laugh.
I just like how his brain works, so much like mine.
We complement each other, making us stronger.
I like his touch.
His features are also nice...

Acting normal around Brett becomes even more difficult than it already has been the  last few days. He starts to realize he feels different now when he looks at Brett. And he's actually terrified of what is happening inside him. He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he jolts at every touch, flings when Brett enters a room, startles when he starts to speak.
If it wasn't so sad, it would be hilarious how he almost knocks chairs over in surprise of a man just entering a room.

While Brett lies awake because he is trying to convince himself that Eddy is just a best friend and needs to get his feelings in check, Eddy is wondering if he is indeed just a friend, or maybe something more. His thoughts are all over the place. Yes, he likes being around Brett, always has. And thinking back at the steamy times on tour, makes him feel strange now, with legit butterflies and stars shining.
He tried to touch himself with Brett in mind, what was even starting to feel quite nice before he chickened out and couldn't proceed.
Him, being with a man? Really? Is that even possible? How will the physical part happen? Will it be ok? Does he want that? How will his family react? How will the fan-base react?
So many questions, it's driving him crazy!
In short: Eddy is having a full on proper gay-crises going on and doesn't know how to cope or talk about it with anyone.

Brett is in his room.
He knows he should be practicing, but it's hard to do that around Eddy. First because a violin playing Eddy is the most sexiest thing this earth provides, but also because Eddy is behaving differently the last couple of days. He is looking more at him. His gaze lingering longer on him than ever before. And he saw him even blush.
Blush for Christ sake?! Why?
A normal conversation is also almost impossible.
Now Brett can finally talk, loses Eddy his voice.
It's so messed up. What is Eddy up to?
One thing he knows for sure: It doesn't make it easier on him to give him up.
So now he physically can play again, but practicing is still difficult because of all the tension. And it was already so hard with seeing Eddy play his Sibelius. His face so focused, eyes closed in concentration, red luscious lips slightly apart, arms so strong, slender back, long lean legs, fine ass, small bulge in the middle that always takes his attention..... The image is suddenly very realistic in his mind. And oh no, there he goes spiraling.
This is not good!
His lower body is already reacting by just the thoughts of Eddy's body holding gracefully his violin.
Damn.
He has been so careful not to let it get the upper hand anymore. But it has been so long, too long, since he has had a release. With pure will force he tries to call his hard interest in his pants down again. It's not listening, crying for some release after so many days. After a few moment he has to come to the conclusion he really can't suppress it anymore.
He rolls his eyes up in annoyance.
Well f*ck. I need to deal with this right now, or I can't think straight anymore. I want to practice! I need to! Stupid sexy Eddy. Stupid hormones.
He sighs deeply and heads for the shower to take care of the situation at hand.
He has no choice now, does he.

Eddy, in the living room, hears Brett heading for the shower.
It makes him feel strange knowing Brett will be naked there. He doesn't know what he thinks about that. What is this feeling inside him, growing and growing.
How can I get answers? I so desperately need them! Who can tell me what I should do.
He thinks for a while.
But what if I see him naked? Will that make everything clear for me? But I can't just walk in though, can I...

A small idea rises to the surface. It's quite daring and maybe just stupid. But he needs to do something to get out of this spiral of thoughts and questions he doesn't want to have.
He makes his resolution and walks to the closet where they keep their TwoSet props and gets out a blond wig out.
I can't walk in, but Edwina can, right?