When a Man Enters the Shrinks Office...

18) Hilary is always wise.

15 dec

Eddy is sitting in the practice room, browsing on Instagram, his violin on the table because his playing has been absolutely crap today, when his telephone rings. He answers it automatically without looking who it is.
"Hello." he says absentmindedly, his thoughts somewhere else.

"Hi Eddy. It's me, Hilary."

She startles him, but he recovers quickly.
"Hey Hilary. How are you?"

"Just fine, practicing of course for my next concert. I'm calling to see how you both are doing."

"Well... I don't know actually. Can I confide in you for a bit? My head is making overtime and I don't know what to do and think anymore."

"Of course. Always. I won't tell a living soul. I'm listening." Hilary always knows what to say.

"You were right. I never thought it could be, but you were right. Brett confessed to me a few days ago that he has... romantic feelings for me. For quite some time now too. And he tells me that he is working to get over it. All this is making me feel so strange and confused. I don't know how to behave myself normally around him. He gets quite annoyed about it as a matter of fact. But I don't know what to think or feel now."

"So he confessed? Brave boy. And you? Can you return his feelings?"

"I don't think so? I'm confused. We did have some moments in the past which were really very nice. But I never thought of a real long lasting relationship like that."

"Have you ever had romantic feelings for him any moment in your time together?"

"Well... I have been thinking a lot about it since his confession." Eddy wants fully to open up about it, so Hilary might know what to do. He has been so lost, he needs her insight.
"I have thought about it very hard. I still think a lot of times when I look at Brett or think about him that he is funny, handsome, pretty, cute and huggable. And I certainly do love him in a way, I really do. I love him even more than my biological brother. For sure. But I have never associated it in my head with, you know, as possibly 'boyfriend' material. I always thought I am more straight than gay."
He sighs and proceeds.
"I always thought I would end up with a girl. A Brettina, you know? The female version of Brett has always been my goal. I thought I would marry her and have kids. My mother's dream, if you know what I mean? No doctors degree for her son, but still grandchildren she can order around."
Eddy shrugs at that thought. His mother would really like to have grandchildren.

Hilary snickers.
"So what you are saying; a Brett with breasts? You are aware that that is quite a cliché thing you are telling me. And maybe even a bit sexist when I think about it. The world is more elaborate than that you know. Love is a feeling deep down, which doesn't let itself be controlled. You need to remember that the most important part about love is what you feel deep down. What you want. If you don't see him beside you in that way, try to be friends again, and act normal with respect for his feelings. But you have to be very clear it won't work as lovers. You owe him that sincerity."
She is silent for a moment before she proceeds in her soft melodious voice.
"But maybe you can try to think for a moment of him as a real partner and see what your mind thinks about that after a while. Brettina is just Brett with different outside features you know. Are they that important?"

"I know Hilary. I know. Just let me think about this."

"I need to go sweetie, sorry. You can always call me if you need to speak out your thoughts, okay? I'll call in a few days to hear how you both are doing. And think about what I said please. Bye bye dear."

"Thanks. Bye."
Eddy slums in his chair, deep in thoughts.
Brettina is just Brett with different outside features?
That's a new way of thinking about it.