A Sliver of Change | S. Black

Part 2: Chapter 29

Part 2:

Chapter 29 –

February 9th, 1977

Lia shivered closer to the wall in the Astronomy tower, he fingers feeling as if they could fall off at any moment due to the cold. But she refused to allow herself the comfort of being warm in that moment. She didn't deserve it.

Her dark thoughts were drowning her day by day, sending her into a pit of self-pity that she loathed, but was too upset to drag herself out of.

Her friends tried to help her. They would drag her out of bed, force her to get up and try to live an everyday life, but Lia couldn't find the energy to do any of it, hating herself even more for putting the sad looks that she did on their faces.

Sirius had even tried to help her, putting his hurt towards her on pause and begging her to talk to him. Lia had refused, instead listening to his words towards her. He had promised that he was no long upset with her, and that he forgave her but that he was still hurt and needed some time to heal.

She had understood, acknowledged that yes, she may be dealing with issues, but he deserved to feel hurt. He deserved to take his time to think through it all, and Lia had ordered him to do just that, refusing to allow herself to dump her problems on him when she had been the one to harm him in the first place.

Sirius had taken his leave after that, telling her that he was taking a few days off school to get himself together and figure everything out. He left with his last words being that he would be there in an instant if she was to call for him.

Lia had sobbed after he disappeared, the pain soaring through her heart and tearing her insides apart. She felt as if she had pushed him away, despite his words of kindness to her. They had so many issues to work out as it was, and Lia had ruined it even more by adding on her lying to him.

She would understand if he never trusted her again.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued to sit there, torturing herself with self-hatred, and visions of the future. Her nightmares had gotten worse now over the past few days and Lia hated herself for letting them get so bad... For making the people around her worry more than they already did.

This time they added in dreams of Sirius saying he hated her. That he could never love someone as pitiful as she was. That he would choose life with his parents over life with her.

That one always broke her down and made her lose whatever kind of sanity she had conjured up that day. She would wake up sweating, screams tearing from her throat, and she would scratch at her body, begging for whatever was consuming her to break free. To just leave her alone.

Lily would wake up with her sometimes and attempt to calm her down, but Lia would just push her away and curl up on her side alone. She refused to even go to her brother anymore.

It had gotten so bad that James had sent his parents a letter, telling them about what was going on with her. Her mother had requested that she come home for a few weeks, to try and figure out what she needed to get better before returning, but Lia refused.

She was tired of them acting as if she was weak. She wasn't weak.

"Emilia?" A voice asked by the stairway of the tower, frightening Lia in her spot.

She turned quickly to see who it was, noticing Pandora Harrolds, a Ravenclaw that she had only spoken to a handful of times before. Lia always found her quite odd, but she never had an issue with the girl, always laughing each time she was around her.

Today she wasn't in the mood though.

"Pandora, I would really like to be alone right now," Lia whispered, her head turning back to look over the ledge. The full moon had only passed a few days before everything had happened, leaving it shining bright in the sky tonight.