Clarity (A SANDRO MARCOS FANFICTION)

33. Know

November 2019

AIRI

Sandro was acting weird. I noticed during the past few weeks. He doesn’t communicate to me like he used to and whenever we get the chance, something interrupts our conversation.

I told Simon about this and he said he might be just really busy with work. 

I doubt that. Kapag gusto may paraan. Kapaag ayaw maraming dahilan.

With Sandro’s actions, I couldn’t focus on work. Nung isang araw nahiwa kamay ko sa knife habang nag slice ng lemon. Like fuck.

I have already submitted my resignation letter with plans to work in the Philippines. I have already applied for a job in a hotel there with the same company here. I was scheduled for interview too. 

The excitement of surprising Sandro that I would be with him became less exciting at napalitan ng kaba na parang bang alam ko na ang susunod na mangyayari. I am fucking scared with the probability of a crisis in our relationship. 

And with those fears I have realized that my life revolved around Sandro. Little by little, he became part of me that I didn’t want to lose. He became something I wanted permanent that if he breaks me, I won’t be able to survive it. 

“Airi.” Simon called my attention. 

Bumaling ako sa kanya. “Huh?”

“Anong huh. You were just saying something to me tapos bigla ka na lang matutulala.” He said, his eyebrows furrowed. 

It’s his birthday and we are celebrating it together. Tita Liza and Tito Bong have already called him and sent him his greetings. Si Vinny ay nagchat lang daw so as usual, hindi ko na naman siya nakita. As for Sandro, he said he’d call us after his meeting. 

“Sorry.” I told him and began slicing his black forest cake. 

“Is it still Sandro? Are you still bothered?” He asked. 

I nodded honestly. What’s the point of hiding it from him. We have been friends since I do not know how and he knows me. 

“Really Airi? I told you. There is nothing to worry about. If it is about Princess I’m sorry. I was just suspicious but wala naman nangyari di’ba? Princess is already engaged to her boyfriend.”

“It’s not Princess. Or any babae. It’s Sandro. He’s been acting weird all of a sudden. I have a feeling na may mangyayari if I confront him but if I do not, it will stay that way,” I told him, biting my lips. I looked at him, scared. “What Am I gonna do Simon?”

He sighed. “Calm down. That’s what you need to do. Don’t you think you are over thinking too much?”

“I know but I can’t stop.” I told him. 

Simon had a problematic look on his face then sighed. “Do you want to go see a movie? A play? To get your mind off things. Sandro will probably call late night.”

“Okay.”

I replied and sighed. Why am I over thinking ba kasi. 

---

I smiled at Sandro in front of the camera. 

“How are you, Sandwo?” I asked. 

“Same old. Tired and all that. You?” He asked. 

“Missing you.” I told him.

He smiled a bit. “What did you do today?” 

“Meetings.” Maikling sagot niya. 

“How was it?” 
“Same old.”

I pressed my lips together. It felt like he wasn’t interested in talking to me. It felt like he was limiting himself.

“Simon and I went to watch a movie while waiting for you.” I told him.

“What movie?”

“Charlie’s Angels.”

He smiled. “Mom was planning to watch that with me but I have no time.”

“Sa next day off mo,” I pouted. “It was a good movie. I’m sure both of you will enjoy it.” 

“Nah.”

Then there was silence. He was scrolling on his phone. 

“What’s wrong Sandro? You’re not your usual self lately.” I asked.

“Nothing.” He replied, looking at me for a bit then went back to his phone. 

“Please tell me.”

“Nothing is wrong Airi. I’m just really tired.”
“Then you can sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow.” I told him, smiling. 

He looked at me. There was a long silence.

“Let’s take a break.” Sandro spoke.

“What?”

“Let’s take a break. From all this.” He answered in a serious tone.

“Break like?”

“A cool off.”

“Ayoko,” I answered immediately.

“Ayoko.” Inulit ko.

“Airi-“

“No. What the hell are you saying?” 

“I want time for myself. That’s all.”

“Bakit? Kulang ba yung LDR naten para makapag-time ka sa sarili mo?” I asked. I didn’t know if I was going to cry or be angry. 

“I just feel tired here, Airi,” Ouch. Nasan yung Cinnamon. “I’m having less time to myself. The work is draining me out. Then the thought of talking to you late night became tiring too.”

My mouth parted. I did not expect he would say that. 

I bit my lips. 

“We had plans Sandro. What about our plans?” I asked calmly. 

“It’s still there. We’d just take a break. That’s all. We are not breaking up.”

“Hanggang kailan?” I asked nervously. 

“I don’t know.” 

My shoulder dropped and before I could cry in front of him, I dropped the call. I walked by my bed and curled then cried my heart out. 

It hurt. Inside. Somewhere in my heart. I cried hard and wailed until Simon entered my room to check on me. 

“He wanted to cool off Simon. Ayoko. Ayoko. Ayoko.” I kept on shouting as I cried. “We had a ten year plan. We spent so much time together. I even planned to surprise him na before next year, uuwi ako. Sabi niya, sabi niya we’ll slowly accomplish our bucket list. That we’re a team and walang break break pero bakit ganon? Can’t he compromise with me if I’m taking too much of his time for himself?”

Simon said nothing. He just embraced me in his arms. 

Ang sakit sakit. 

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Hi!