Clarity (A SANDRO MARCOS FANFICTION)

61. I

AIRI

I invited Simon over for brunch in which he agreed without hesitating. That thing with Vinny got me confused na hanggang pag-uwi ko, si Vinny laman ng isip ko. Not that I’m in doubt with him or anything but I’m more in doubt of myself. I didn’t want to be unfair with Vinny. I don’t want to say I love him back and then realize it was just because I was trying to get back with his older brother. Though on a second thought, naka-move on naman na ako kay Sandro but why am I getting worked up with Vinny's confession all of a sudden?

“Vinny told me he loves me.” I told Simon.

Binaba niya yung baso ng kape niya at tumingin sa akin. “And? Shouldn’t you be happy?” He asked, confused.

I bit my lips. “It’s too soon. Dapat after one year niya sabihin para sure.”

Simon made a face. “Are you fucking kidding me, Airi Juarez?”

Ngumuso ako. “Ganon sa amin ni Sandro eh.”

He rolled his eyes. “Airi, iba si Vinny at iba si Sandro. Don’t compare. They’re both different people. Apelyedo lang ang magkapareho sa kanila.”

“At kapatid tapos magulang.” I inserted.

“Ang sarap mong ibalibag.”

“My point is, Simon, ang aga niya sabihin na in love na siya sa akin. We’ve only been dating for months.”

“Ayaw mo non? Sigurado na siya sa iyo.”

That statement scared me more. 

“What if I’m the one who will mess it up this time? What if sinabi ko lang na mahal ko siya pabalik just to spite Sandro for what he did? Simon natatakot ako.I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I only loved him because I wanted to show Sandro what he has lost.”

“Can you like tell me what is going on? Like from the start Airi. I’m starting to feel you’re not telling me something I should know.”

Yung titig ni Simon nakakatakot. Yung hindi ka pa aamin na-judge ka na. But I didn’t really care that moment. I sighed and told him everything that happened from the moment he left me in Baguio. From pretending to be in a relationship with Vinny to making it serious.

“Ewan ko sa iyo Airi ha, pero ikaw pala nag-suggest na seryosohin niyo. Bakit ka nababakla ngayon?” Was the first thing he said.

“He’s too good to be true Simon.”

“Airi jusko. Matanda ka na. Alam mo na dapat gagawin mo. Magte-trenta ka na.”

Ngumuso ako. Akala ko din I have life figured out in my late twenties. I was wrong. I guess I was still that kid inside who needed her parent’s guidance.

“What should I do Simon?”

He sighed. “Weigh the pros and cons. But do you really want to go back over and over again?”He asked at pinanlakihan ako ng mata. "Magtitikiman lang kayo ni Vinny tapos ganon na lang? Baka ako isunod mo!"

Nanlaki mata ko sa huling sinabi niya then I shook my head. “Hindi naman ako babalik kay Sandro eh. Yung pag-amin ni Vinny ang pinag-uusapan naten.”

“Ay yun ba. Akala ko kasi nag-aalanganin ka kasi may feelings ka pa kay Sandro.”

I made a face. 

"Tanga-tangahan lang Simon? Hindi na natuto?"

Simon rolled his eyes. "Bakit ka ba sa akin nanghihingi ng advice kung sarili mo lang din ang susundin mo."

Ngumuso ako. "I just want to hear your opinion."

"Edi narinig mo na. Iba na lang pag-usapan naten."

---

My shift finished at twelve midnight in which pagod na pagod ako. Parang hindi ako galing day off sa lagay ko na 'to. I stretched every muscle in my body as I changed into my casual clothes. I checked my messages. There was a missed call from Vinny. I have been ignoring his messages after my brunch with Simon. Parang nako-konsensya ako na sumagot. After his confession, I kissed him on the lips and said nothing after. He's a sweet guy and I'm becoming a red flag from shoving aside his confession. 

I sighed. Why did I even put myself into this situation?

My phone rang. It was Vinny. I answered the phone.

"Hey. Sorry. Kaka-out ko lang. I'm in the locker."I told him.

"I'm outside. I came to pick you up." He replied.

Napatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko which created a noise. I apologized in silence. 

"Sige wait lang. Give me five minutes."

"See yah." He said and dropped the call.

My chest pounded faster. Vinny naman eh. 

For the first time in my life, na conscious ako sa itsura ko at nag-ayos sa vanity mirror ng locker. Vinny is good looking, well, the reason he caught my attention by in London was his good looks after all. I took one last look at myself and stood up to meet him in the driveway. I didn't remove my make up. Nag-retouch ako at nagpabango ng sampung beses to the point na naubo yung katabi ko na nag-aayos. 

I felt giddy for the first time I was meeting Vinny after work. Maybe it was because of his confession or maybe it was something I am denying. 

"Hey."I greeted Vinny as soon as I saw him leaning by his car, waiting for me. It rained a bit a while ago so Manila was a bit cool that moment. He was weaing his casual plain white shirt, khaki pants and Birken slippers. He was holding a Starbucks cup in his right hand while his left hand was in his pocket. 

Vincent smiled. "Coffee?"

I so love how he responded to me right now that I kissed him on the cheeks before taking the coffee from him. 

"Thank you, Vintot." I told him and headed to the passenger's side. 

I think he got startled because it took him a while to get inside the car. I should probably get my feelings straight before he decides to dump me but he is not that kind of guy is he?

Vinny drove around metro while I was sipping the coffee he gave me. I also shared it by letting him sip from it too. It took thirty minutes for me to ask kung saan kami pupunta.

"I don't know Airi. Driving around metro with you like this is just so satisfying." He told me.

I laughed. "Why are you like that Vinny?" I asked.

"Like what exactly?" He asked, looking at me brieftly.

"You are acting as if you are fine with everything. Yung para bang kuntento ka sa kung anong meron. Hindi ka nagrereklamo. Hindi ka naghahanap ng wala. It's as if kung anong nandon, yun na yun." I told him.

He laughed. "Airi, why would I look for something that isn't there?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Malay mo may hinahanap ka sa isang relationship or may expectation ka and I might give it to you kung kaya ko."

Vinny shook his head. "It's not suppose to work that way Airi. It won't work if I look for something in you na wala naman sa'yo. It's better to be satisfied with what you have than to get hyped up with something you don't have."

"I'm kinda liking this side of you Vinny." I told him.

Tumawa siya. "I have a friend who owns a cabin in Antipolo na malapit sa treasure mountain. Do you want to go?" He asked.

"That sounds fun. Hindi ka busy sa work? I asked.

"I filed a vacation leave for at least two days." He said.

I smiled in return.

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Hello!

How are you all? I hope you are all good. Sorry for the late update. Na-busy with work then got sick and all. Took me weeks to think of what to write. Will try to update with my remaining sick leave days. Hahaha. Wavyu!