A Diary - Calling For You

Madly.

I was going away from you, from all of you guys. My heart was pounding as it would come right out of my chest. I looked down as the ground was wet from my tears. I started to punch the ground from frustration. "I'm sorry." I cried, "I'm sorry for whatever I've done. For every time I've made you guys cry. For every time I did something dumb. For keeping unnecessary secrets from you guys. Sorry, a million times over, for whatever I've done till now to whatever is going to happen." I continued to cry on my knees while all of you were silent. The city lights were getting blurrier, the stars were fluctuating, even with my eyes opened, I could hear my heart beating. Thinking about you was like poison for me. It was making me feel like dying. You were like medicine to me. you were making me want to live, for you. "'For every time I've made you cry' you said? What are you even talking about, you have never, and will never make me cry. You are not deep enough to make me cry. You can't even sadden me." You said with a gloomy voice, breathing even louder than the raging wind.

I looked up, then at you. Your face had the blue reflection of the lights along the red of you. Your lips were shaking, nose as red as a garden rose. You were sobbing your eyes out...

I stood up, to give you support but as I was going to say something, Akira walked up to you and wiped off your tears.  I stood there, without saying a word. "Relax, live the moments with him while you can, instead of being a... 'cry-baby' was it?" He had tears in his own eyes.

"Guys, now let's do another thing for the 'memory' thing!" I exclaimed, running up my nose. All three of you stared at me, silently, like I was some madman. Maybe I even was one for that moment. "All three of you, slap me. One by one. Come on, don't be hesitant. I know you want to do it!" I laughed like some mental patient. 'Asahi, chill. You've got to handle this very carefully. Your mental state is turning fragile." Anli held a hand on my shoulder, sobbing. I grabbed her hand and started to slap myself. Again, and again.

Anli pulled away her hand, shouting "STOP IT! ASAHI YOU NEED TO RELAX. PLEASE." She howled, not touching me this time. "What do you mean? I'm all relaxed. But you need to throw out your anger on me! I don't want you to hold back anymore!" I leaned my head over to Anli. "Anyone, Akira? Mihoko? Please, guys. Please do it for me. I won't be able to live without it." I looked over to you guys, and ran towards you.

"You're gonna be okay." You cried. "You're gonna be better without all of us. At least you won't get forced to do things. You won't get to cry there because of us. You would get an excuse to call us too. You'll make better friends there. You would be able to write your diary freely, without the fear of someone stealing it. You will eventually even find the love of your life there." Oh no, I won't. I won't even try to. And the diary? I don't think so.

"We should go back, even if we start now, it will cost us 5-6 hours." Gorou senpai came back, putting his earphones back in his pocket. "Yeah, let's head back. We need to rest." Anli looked at me as she said that.

We then started to head back down. The horizon did not seem as beautiful as before. The lights became too blinding for me, though I wanted to stay right at that point, with all of you guys but it was like all of you were moving too far away, just like before. I was starting to feel left out again. The path was becoming way too wavy for me to walk. I was visualising illusions, walking in a zig-zag.

But as we walked down for 2 hours, suddenly... "ANLI! ANLI!" She fell. Akira and you ran over to her, to check what happened. "WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?" Akira gently slapped her cheeks a few times, but it did not help at all. "We have to take her on our back." You sympathetically said. "I'll do it, we don't have time." I rubbed off my nose.

And then I picked her up, picked her up onto my back. "One last walk I guess." I murmured. As I was following Akira and you, panting and sweating, seeing you two get along like nobody else, like never before. You guys were exchanging laughs, passing gossip, and holding hands...

That picture made my stomach go crazy. I dropped Anli, and held my hand on the mountain, trying to vomit.

You two ran over to me, noticing that I stopped on the side. "You okay?" You asked me, patting my back. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a mountain thing." I moaned. My health was starting to flutter. I was actually dying. "Man you need to get back to the hotel ASAP!" Akira exclaimed. "I'll carry her. You try to be fast and go down, or you can choose to get there slowly because you don't seem fine. At. All." He put Anli on her back and started to walk, "You stay with him. He'll need you." He turned back and said to you.

I took your support to walk down and vomitted at least a million times. I was just starting to feel better when... "Do you even know the reason she fainted..?" You looked into my eyes and asked me aggressively. "It was probably some mountain thing too. You see, she'd gone to any hill station for the first time, it's only normal." I tip-toed a few steps more when you gave up to provide me support. "She likes you, Asahi. Madly." This trip...was indeed one to remember...