Love isn't Real

.12.

The weeks go by in a blur between work and painting all the time I have been really happy if I'm honest. Wow, I have never been happy before or I have and I don't remember it. Part of it has to do with Anthony. I do know what our relationship is but that day we kissed changed somethings. Sometimes he would walk up to be lift me chin then kiss me out of know where. I didn't really mind because I liked being kissed my him. It made my heart flutter and my stomach do flips.

At work today I was almost done with my shift I just had one more table to wait then I am off. Anthony said he wanted to take me somewhere today after I get done with work. A group of teen age kids sit at my table right as my other customers leave. I walk up to them taking out my notepad. "Good after noon what can I get you guys to drink" I ask looking at them. "A coke" One says. "Coffee, black" another says. I look at the blonde who is staring out the window not paying attention. "Dude? James!" One yells startling the blonde. He looks up at me eyes widen and what looks like fear in them.

"Uh-uhm...a water" He says softly. I nod my head then walk away to get there drinks. The blonde James, he sticks in my mind. I glance up at my table to see the other guys laughing and talking while James just shifts in his seat. I see a mark on his neck but he quickly covers it up and looks out the window. I frown as I pick up the tray with there drinks on it. I walk over and place the drinks down in front of them hearing part of there conversation. "My dad took my phone because I hooked up with a chick last weekend" The other snorts while James just looks out the window. "Hey James have you been getting any?" One asked. I take out my notepad looking at them.

"Ready to order?" I ask. James gets up from where he was seated. "I need fresh air" He mumbles then walks out the door quickly. The two other boys roll there eyes then tell me what they want. I give it to the kitchen then go see Harper. "What's up Declan?" She asked while cleaning a table. "May I step outside for a minute" I ask softly. I want to talk with James. I...I have a feeling I know what's happening to him. I could be wrong but I don't think I am and I want to help him. Like Anthony helps me. "Sure I'll call you back when your tables order is ready" Harper says standing up straight.

I make my way outside look around before seeing James sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette. I walk over and sit next to him. Looks at me and shifts away from me. "That stuff is bad for you" I said looking out at the road. Cars rush by making it loud out here. James stays quiet and takes another drag of his cigarette. "How old are you?" I ask glancing at him. "16" He answers. My heart drops and I frown at him. He is 16 and smoking a cigarette.

We sit for a few minutes before James turns to me, "What do you want?" He asked harshly. I flinch back, he sounded like my father. "When I was younger I lived with my dad because my mom died. At first everything was fine, I went to school, ate dinner then went to bed. But one night my door opened and my dad walked in, I wasn't sure why he walked in but he told me to lay on my stomach, put my face in my pillow and stay quiet." I gulp at memory of the first time he touched me. I take a deep breath before continuing. "He did things that I- I thought father did because I was so young but it hurt so bad and I wanted it to stop. Over time it did stop but then the beatings came, the yelling came. I hate him for treating me that way. And I know it will take time to heal all the wounds he gave me but they will" I said.

James stared at me for awhile before scoffing and looking away. "I don't care" He grumbles taking another drag of his cigarette. "James I know you don't know me but I can see it okay" I said. I watch as he quickly tugs his shirt collar over his neck. "If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here all week" I mumble before getting up and walking back into the cafe.

I grab the food the other two boys asked for putting it in front of them. I clean off the table behind them to help out a little. The bell on the door dings as James walks in taking his seat with the other two boys. He looks at me and I give him a small smile before walking into the kitchen.
-^-
After my shift end I watch as Anthony's car pulls up in front of the cafe. I get in seeing Anthony talking on the phone. I close the door quickly then buckle up as the car starts moving. I wait patiently for Anthony to get off the phone to ask him where we are going. "Please move the meeting to next week Hazel. I will talk more about it then. Alright bye" Anthony puts his phone away then turns to me with a soft smile. "How was work love?" He asked. "The same as always" I mumble. I don't want to tell him about James, it's not mine or Anthony's business until he talks to me or someone else about it. I don't want to jump to conclusions about James but I just have a feeling that he is going through something close to what I went through.

I don't want it to be true because seeing as though James is only 16 he has so much left to live for. I don't want what I went though to happen to him. "Love?" Anthony's voice pulls me out of my thoughts so I turn to him. "Sorry, lost in my thoughts" I mumble. Anthony lifts my chin so I look at him. I stare into his brown eyes my heart fluttering as he looks at me. His hand leaves my chin to cup my cheek and I lean into it. "You can talk to me you know that right?" He asked. I nod my head.

"I have made an appointment for you to talk to my therapist next week" He says changing the subject. I gulp at the thought of having to share what I went through. I know that it will be good for me to get it out there but it's also scary. I mean how do I know the person won't judge because because of what my father did or what I had to do at the restaurant. I grab Anthony's hand that was on my cheek interlocking our fingers. Know that he is next to me, that I can feel the warmth of his hand calms me. I know he won't hurt me because I trust him. I really do trust him, I've never trusted anyone before.

"Are you okay?" Anthony asked squeezing my hand. I nod my head, "just nervous about talking about what my father did" I whisper. Anthony nods in understand then brings my hand up to his lips, kissing my knuckles softly. My face flushes and my heart pounds in my chest. "I'll be in the waiting room love, just ask her to come get me and I will be there okay?" He murmured against my knuckles before setting it down.

It was quiet for the rest of the drive. When we stopped we both get out, I notice we are at the house and I look over at Anthony. "I thought we were going somewhere" I said following him towards the front door. "We are but we need to change first" He chuckles opening the door allowing me to walk in. "Well, where are we going?" I ask walking up the stairs, down the hall stopping at my bedroom door. Anthony smiles stoping in front of me to kiss my forehead. "It a surprise" Is all he says before walking into his room and shutting the door.

I pout as I walk into my room as well. I head over to my closet opening it and walking in. I don't even know what to change into because I don't know where we are going. I sigh grabbing a pair of black jeans with rips then a navy blue shirt. I take off my work uniform tossing in into the hamper that is in my closet then pull on the jeans that are kinda tight but I don't mind. I slip on the shirt and a new pair of socks then grab my white shoes to put on as well.

I step out of my room at the same time Anthony does, he is also wearing jeans and a nice button up shirt. He holds out his hand for me which I take then we go downstairs back into the car that was waiting. "Can I please know where we are going" I ask again frowning. Anthony chuckles, "Love, it's a surprise"

I fidget in my seat wanting to know where we are going. Anthony places at hand on my thigh making me stop and look over at him. "Stop it Declan" He growls. My eyes widen at the change in his tone. "Sorry" I whimper looking down. Anthony has never spoke to me like that before. It made me feel weird if I'm honest. I unbuckle my seat belt and scoot over to his side. I don't know what I'm doing but I nuzzled my face in his side. "I'm sorry if I am you mad" I mumble. Anthony wraps one of his arms around me squeezing my side gently. "Love, after we get done with what I have planned I want to show you something" Anthony said. He kisses the top of my head and I look up at him.

"Before you ask I want to tell you after" He chuckles looking down at me. I nod my head then go back to nuzzling my hand into his chest near him, I've never been this close other then the time we kissed. I blush remembering his lips on mine. I want to kiss him again but I don't know if he would like that. "What are you thinking about?" He asked pulling me out of my thoughts. "Can I...kiss you?" I ask softly. I look up at him and he looks down at me.

"Of course Love" He says. I lean up towards him pressing our lips together, his kisses me slowly working open my mouth to slip his tongue in. My heart flutters and my stomach erupts with butterflies. I pull away with a giddy smile. I like the way he makes me feel, it feels good.