Skirts and flirts (COMPLETED)

LV

''Harry, I don't think that's a good idea. he is dangerous, baby and why does he want to talk to you now? And be alone with you? I don't think that's good. Please...'' Louis said, taking Harry's hands in his.

''I just need to know why Lou. Did he put sex above our relationship? Was that his intension in the first place? Louis, I never got answers and I feel like I need to stop thinking about the whys and just fully commit to you and I. Everything will be okay and if I need anything, I'll just yell or kick him in the nuts.'' Harry smiled, his back pressed against the wall and Louis, as he looked at the field, where the rest of the players were talking and Louis and Harry's friends were glaring at Jonah.

''Please kick him in the junk whatever he does.'' he said and the younger boy chuckled at that.

''I'll try.'' Harry smiled, Louis capturing his lips with his.

''I'll be around. You'll be okay, yeah?'' Louis said, cupping Harry's face.

''Yeah.'' Harry whispered against his boyfriend's lips, kissing him again.

*

''I'll do the talking. You will answer when I tell you to, yeah?'' Harry asks, once he was alone with Jonah, after Louis squeezed his trembling hand and kissed his cheek.

''Go ahead.'' Jonah smirked, folding his arms on his chest.

''I don't understand why you did all of those things. You could have waited or told me you wanted to have sex with me, but no, you had to go and almost fucking manipulate me into sleeping with you!'' Harry said, his voice filled with upset.

All this fucking time, Jonah put him through so many shit and he never had the chance to get it out of his chest. To tell him how much he fucked him up. How he cried himself to sleep because he felt like all his worthy for was his body and being a good fuck apparently. All those years, all he was hearing around him was how everyone wanted to fuck him and God, Harry was sick and tired of hearing people actually talking about his ass or his body in front of his face. He's so goddamn tired of drunk men hitting on him, when all he wants to do is go back to his house and go to bed. He's such so damn tired of everyone seeing him as an object that his only purpose is to get fucked or whatever other people think he is. So fucking tired.

The same thing happened with Jonah, just a billion times worse, because Jonah actually made him feel like he is worthy of love or having a good non-toxic relationship for a second. Apparently, the joke was on Harry the whole time, because not only did Jonah not love him, but he also hurt him in so many ways.

Harry doubted himself, thought he was not good enough to be loved not only for his body but his spirit, mind and heart. Jonah made him want to disappear. The way he isolated himself, how he avoided his own friends, family and everyone else around him, 'cause he was so damn embarrassed that he genuinely believed someone wanted more from and with him other than sex. There were times, where Harry was standing in his living screaming at himself at how stupid he was to actually believe Jonah, to let his guard down.

And now? Fuck, all he sees now is the stupid smirk on Jonah's face, not even realizing how much he had hurt the younger boy. How he ruined so many days of his life, how he will keep poisoning every aspect of Harry's life, how he stopped trusting other people, how Jonah was proof that people will do anything to get their way with you and the thing that hurts the most is that Harry did not deserve any of this.

Fuck, he did not and he does not. He will never, ever deserve what he was put through, how everyone makes him feel. Like just a body. Like all he has is a filthy body. He never asked for it. God knows he did not. He doesn't want people to look at him the way they do. He does not want the students in his uni to look at him, like he has fucked the whole school, like he is about to steal everyone's boyfriends with his slutty ways. He does not want random men to look at him the way they do. They make want to run home and take a long shower to peel off his fucking skin.

And then he sees Louis and the guilt settles inside him, just pooling in his gut, making him want to throw up, making him feel so sick and so dirty. And Louis is just so fucking pure and nice and kind and a million other things, while Harry feels like a fucking slut even though he never does anything.

He wants to scream at Louis to stop being so fucking nice, to stop making him feel so guiltier with his kind eyes and perfect smile and a heart made of gold. The way he wanted to just yell at him and tell him that he feels so disgusting and so miserable. He feels so small. So pathetic and used. He just wants answers and then, he wants to go to Louis and his mum and feel safe again.

Seeing Jonah so close to him again, feeling the heat radiating of his body, smelling his sweat from the game, it just felt so real. All the memories from that night all those months ago, where he run to Louis and locked himself in his room, not knowing what to do with himself, too scared to come out in case Zayn was there, too anxious about Louis' reaction, too embarrassed to go to Louis, too disgusted with himself to even comfort himself.

''You really wanna know why I sacrificed everything we could be for one fuck?'' Jonah asks, his face inches apart from Harry's.

*

A/N a bit different chapter, where I ramble about life for once again. There is a gazillion things I want to write about this certain chapter, situation, relationship, etc. but I will save them until the end of the book and all I am gonna say is thank you for 10.7k.