Saviour | | Fred Weasley

•Part twenty nine

"I want to tell you something." You told Fred, putting the empty crisp packet in a rubbish bin nearby.

"Go for it." Fred said, turning to look at you.

"I'm really sorry for being such a bad girlfriend lately. I haven't been in the right mindset and I've just been feeling like shit lately, it's not fair for me to take it out on you, though." You said. "I'm trying to better for you."

"Love, don't apologise. I understand, you don't have to say sorry for something like this, for something you have no control over." Fred told you and squeezed your hand in his.

"But I can control it, that's the thing, Fred." You said. "Everything I have done has been my choice, all of the coke, the cutting. Everything is my choice, nobody else's, just mine."

"Cutting? Have you been cutting again?" Fred asked you, ignoring everything else you had just said.

"Did you hear anything else I said?" You asked.

"I did, but that's not the most important thing that I'm worried about." Fred said. "Roll up your sleeves, Kendra."

"I don't have to, I'm not cutting myself anymore. I stopped after I was in the hospital wing." You told him he didn't care.

"Roll them up." He said, no emotion in his voice whatsoever, and you sat there frozen, you didn't roll your sleeves up. "If you don't do it, I'll do it for you."

You still didn't say or do anything, you just sat on his bed in complete silence. Fred sighed, knowing what he would see on your arms, and grabbed your right arm. He pulled the sleeve up and saw nothing on that arm, so he proceeded to grab your other arm, your left arm.

He rolled your sleeve up and his facial expression changed completely. The entire arm was covered in scabs and cuts, there was nearly no empty part of your skin on your arm. Fred's eyes widened before you yanked your sleeve back up to your hand, embarrassed.

"Kendra.. why?" Fred grabbed your hands and tried to look in your eyes but you kept your head down, looking at your legs. "Kendra, please look at me."

You didn't look at him, you were too embarrassed at what he just saw all over your arms.

"Why didn't you talk to me, love? You know that you can come to me with anything and I will help you through it." Fred said.

"Because how do I tell my boyfriend that I cut myself and get high as a coping mechanism?" You looked up at him. "How can I tell the love of my love that I don't feel like I am real, that I feel the need to cut myself to see if I still bleed. You try telling this shit to the person you love, it's not easy."

"You love me?" Fred asked and you laughed.

"Yes, yes. I love you. I am so in love with you that nothing and nobody else in this world matter." You said with a smile on your face.

"I love you so bloody much, Kendra Diaz." Fred said and let go of your hands, cupping your face and connecting your lips with his lips.

•••

Fred and you didn't talk about your self-harm or the drugs after you told him you loved him, the two of you just kissed and cuddled in his bed together. Nothing more.

He walked you back to your dorm because you had to pack your bags, so you couldn't sleep or stay in his dorm for much longer. He ended up staying in your dorm for a while, talking to you and your friends whilst you packed your bags.

Once you were done packing, you decided to take a shower. After you showered and turned the water off, you wrapped a towel around yourself and saw the bathroom door open slowly. Fred was standing on the other side of the door, walking in and shutting the door.

"Can we talk now, please?" Fred asked, leaning against the wall behind him. "It's important."

"Is this what I think you want to talk about, Fred?" You asked and sat down on the edge of the bath in the bathroom.

"Probably." He told you and you sighed.

"Go on." You told him.

"Why do you feel the need to get high and cut yourself as a coping mechanism?" He asked.

"Because there isn't another way, I would have found another way by now." You replied.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked.

"I first tried coke at the start of the summer holiday, but I didn't really like it. Then I wrote a letter to Lee before we came back, and he sorted me out with some bags. That is when you found me snorting lines in the changing room." You told him.

"I didn't know you too well then, but if I had known you would turn into addict-" he got cut off by your voice.

"I'm not an addict." You said. "I'm not."

"Okay. But if I knew it would get this bad, then I would have done something other than snorting lines with you." Fred said, crossing his arms.

"If I had known I would get this bad, I would have tried to stop sooner." You told him. "Did Prince tell you what happened last night?"

"No, he just said that you were in his room for the night and that you were safe." Fred answered.

"Do you want to know what happened?" You asked and he nodded hesitantly. "I was high, I'm not anymore, and Prince's best friend, Malik, found me about to overdose in the middle of the hallway."

Fred's hand slowly made its way up to his mouth, covering his dropped jaw in shock. His eyes changed from a normal look, to a sad one.

"Prince let me sleep in his bed last night and I overdosed in the middle of the night, I didn't die though." You told your boyfriend. "I had been high for almost five days straight, that's why I overdosed."

Fred said nothing, no words left his still dropped jaw. He just walked over to you and his arms wrapped around your body, his body slowly kneeling down on the floor so he was more level with you.

Tears fell down your face and onto his chest, but he didn't care. He just rubbed your back and kissed your head, making sure you were alright.

"You are so brave, Kendra." Fred whispered in your ear. "I just wish you had told me sooner."

"I wish I did too."

Word Count : 1111