♪ never not - lauv ♪
CORA
DALA ng matinding sakit, dali-dali akong nagtungo sa banyo. In the sink, I threw up over and over again, wasting all the food and medicine that I took for the day. Siniklaban pa ako ng matinding takot nang makita ang kaunting dugo na sinuka ko.
Months already passed and it felt like heaven and hell at the same time. Yes, masaya ako dahil kasama kong lumalaban ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Pero hindi ko maitatangging pagod na pagod na ako.
Habang patagal ng patagal, pahina na rin ako nang pahina. As much as I hate to say it, gustong-gusto ko nang magpahinga.
Comforting words and medicines aren't enough. Sobrang sakit na. I don't want to give up dahil marami akong masasaktan 'pag sumuko ako. Pero kung ako ang tatanungin — ayoko na. Gusto ko nang magpahinga. Gusto ko nang matapos 'tong paghihirap ko.
"You okay now?" Penny asked as she gently rubbed my back.
Tumango-tango lang ako at pilit na ngumiti, even though the pain is already eating me up inside. Pagkatapos buksan ang gripo para linisin ang sinuka ko, inalalayan ako ni Penny pabalik sa kama ko.
She always visits me from time to time. She's balancing her career as a businesswoman and being here with me everyday. To be honest, I'm starting to feel guilty because she might overwork herself, but she always insists that she's fine with it.
Hindi ko maiwasang pagmasdan siyang naglalagay ng tubig sa baso. Inabot niya ito sa 'kin nang may ngiti sa labi.
"You selfless bitch..." I remarked, earning a chuckle from her.
"This selfless bitch loves you," she defended with her chin held up high.
"Lucky me." I faked a sigh dahilan para matawa na lang siya. Then, she brought out her phone and took a picture of us.
"Naks! You look good in this one." Ipinakita niya sa 'kin ang picture na kinuha niya. Napangiwi naman ako dahil mukha akong tanga sa picture. Hindi pa kasi ako prepared nang kinuha niya ito.
I sighed and looked at her.
Even though I feel like my voice will break anytime now, I still gathered the courage to call her name.
"Penny..."
Napatingin naman siya sa 'kin.
"Pagod na ako..." I said, almost a whisper.
Hindi siya umimik at ibinalik na lang ang kaniyang tingin sa litrato naming dalawa sa phone niya.
"Then rest."
"Can I rest forever?"
Kunot-noong napatingin naman siya sa 'kin. "What the hell?!"
"I'm tired... I'm so tired..." I admitted, tears began rolling down from my eyes.
BINABASA MO ANG
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