♪ sa hindi pag-alala - munimuni ♪
CORA
HINDI mapigil ang mga mata ko sa pagbuhos ng luha. Pakiramdam ko, paulit-ulit na pinipiga ang puso ko. Questions kept running in my head.
And one of those is how can Mason just leave me like that.
Nakailang tawag ako sa kaniya pero hindi man lang siya lumingon. He stopped on his tracks. He heard me. But he didn't turn back to look at me for one last time.
Did something happen? May nangyari ba na naging dahilan para magpunta siya sa ibang bansa? Sa tingin niya ba, hindi ko maiintindihan ang dahilan niya sa pag-alis?
Questions like that keep circling in my mind.
Why did he leave me without even saying goodbye? What reasonable reason can he have to not even look me in the eye for one last time?
Is it because of me? Nagsawa na ba siya sa 'kin? May problema ba sa 'kin? May nagawa ba akong mali? Ayaw niya na ba akong kasama kaya siya umalis? May mali ba sa 'kin?
"Oh, God!" Napahagulgol na lang ako at napasabunot sa sarili. I'm losing my mind thinking of reasons why Mason left. And unluckily, I feel like I'm the reason why he did.
"Cora?" pagtawag sa 'kin ni Penny. She's driving while I was busy crying my eyes out in the passenger's seat.
I didn't bother looking at her. I'm a mess. Para akong tanga na kanina pa iyak ng iyak habang nakatingin sa bintana.
It's already night time. Penny's driving me home. But I don't want to go home. I just want to think why the fuck did Mason left me hanging.
"It's going to be okay," Penny uttered over and over again while tapping my back. I continued to cry as I pulled my hair.
Bakit ni isang lingon, hindi niya ginawa?
Bakit hindi man lang niya ako tinignan?
Bakit niya ako iniwan?
Muli akong napahagulgol. Napahawak ako sa puso kong pakiramdam ko, durog na durog na.
Why?
Mugtong-mugto na ang mga mata ko. I feel like I have no more tears left to cry. Questions keep running in my mind over and over again. Pakiramdam ko, mababaliw na ako kakaisip ng dahilan kung bakit ako iniwan sa ere ng lalaking mahal ko.
Tiningnan ko ang tanawin sa labas. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang malapit na naming madaanan ang isang lugar na naging espesyal na rin sa puso ko — the hill of Richmond Fields.
Agad kong tinapik-tapik si Penny. "Stop here. Stop!" I demanded.
Nalilitong napatingin naman sa 'kin si Penny. She's getting cautious because she's still driving.
BINABASA MO ANG
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