I Want What I Can't Have

How I Met Him

My name is Flaire Lockshot. Here's a few facts. I'm from district 8, textiles. I'm good at throwing sharp objects. Not many people like me. I won the 68th annual Hunger Games. And I first met the capitol sex-god Finnick Odair on my victory tour. Some of the districts were easy, especially the ones where you didn't kill anyone. It became far harder when you were staring right into the eyes of the mother of the child you killed. Usually I didn't read from the cards, the stuff that Amaryllis (my escort) wrote for me was...well let's just say it was controversial. She didn't mind though and making things up on the spot was better for me. I never really understood Finnick Odair. Whenever I'd see him on screen I'd roll my eyes as the other girls were swooning. He was a total arrogant peacock of a person and I wasn't looking forward to meeting him. Partly because of that and also I had killed both of his tributes. I was sure my water would be poisoned.

"Remember to respect Mr Odair, don't upset him, upsetting him means upsetting the capitol," Amaryllis said to me.

I nodded but really I couldn't care less about upsetting the peacock. Maybe he even deserved it. District four gave me a surprisingly warm welcome. I gave my little speech about how sorry I was and that I had to kill them to live myself. Then I was guided to a vast room with a massive sofa. The door was shut behind me.

"Hello Flaire," came a voice.

I peaked around the corner to see a lazy looking Finnick Odair sprawled across the sofa.

"Hello," I murmured.

"Sit," he said.

I nodded and sat down.

"It's nice to finally meet the victor of the 68th games, can't lie wish it were one of my tributes, but I have to admit your better than I've ever seen before," he smiled.

"Thank you," I said.

"How are you coping?" He asked.

"Why are you asking me this? Usually I get to the district, give my speech, meet the previous victor and leave. What do you want from me?" I replied.

"I'll take that as not very well," Finnick sighed.

"Of course I'm not doing well, I just killed a bunch of children and had the most traumatic time of my life," I shouted.

Finnick raised an eyebrow as I clamped my hand over my mouth,

"I want to be your friend Flaire," he said softly.

"Why?" I asked, "I'm not exactly liked. I'm a grubby girl from 8 who just murdered a bunch of people."

"Not to me," Finnick smiled, "I see a brave girl, who's very talented at knife throwing and who'd make a great friend to me."

"But why me?"

"Look Snow is going to want you to become a prostitute sooner or later. He did it to me and you are desirable so his next target," he said slowly, "I want to help you."

"How so?" I asked.

"Get through it, get out of it, whatever," he replied.

"Why?" I pressed on.

"Because I like you....now would you like a sugar cube?" He pondered, holding out several cubes of sugar.

A grin danced on my face, "I think I like you too Finnick, a sugar cube sounds nice."

***
The problem was, Finnick was right. Just over a week after my victory tour I was called to meet with President Snow in the Capitol. I was transported there on the train in the matter of days with Amaryllis and Clo (my stylist). Clo dressed me simply for the meeting. Thank the lord. Nothing too eccentric this time, it was a simple black jeans and blue top hidden under a black jacket. Neither of the two of them could come with me though. The furthest they were allowed to come was the gates, where they bid me goodbye and I was guided by Peacekeepers to Snow's office. Snow's mansion was the biggest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I could get seriously lost in here. It could probably house a district or two. His office was large and overly formal. He sat behind a desk as if he were in a film and slowly spun around as I entered.

"Miss Lockshot," he smiled, "what a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine President Snow," I smiled, trying to shake of the metallic smell of blood and heavily perfumed roses that infected my nostrils.

"Now as you know, you are a victor of the Hunger Games and a very stunning one at that. People would pay a lot for you," he smirked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I want you to sell yourself, like Odair, you'll get paid of course and-"

"No," I said firmly.

"What?" Snow asked.

"Absolutely not, I won't do that," I stated, getting fiery.

Snow smiled lightly and pressed a small button on what looked like a speaker.

"Now," he said.

A gunshot rang out loudly and piercing scream could heard. That scream was unmistakable to me. That was my mothers scream.

"NO!" I screeched at the top of my lungs, "leave them!"

"Become what I want you to then," he said.

I paused for a brief moment and opened my mouth but all sound was cut off by the second shot. It was my older sister's scream that now echoed around my head. Tears poured freely down my face.

"I'll ask you once more," Snow said.

I tried to speak, I really did, but my throat was somewhat clogged up. I don't know what happened I just couldn't make a sound, hence why the last shot rang out and a yell came from my big brother before his body hit the floor with a 'thump'.

"Get her out," Snow spat into his speaker.

In an instant peacekeepers dragged my body out.

"FUCK YOU SNOW!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to breath through the sobs.

"Mention this to anyone and worse will come," he said, before shutting the door and leaving me to be dragged back to the train.

***
We got back on the train and nobody asked a single question.

I broke the silence, "we need to stop at District 4."

"Why?" Amaryllis asked.

"It smells of fish there!" Clo exclaimed, miming being sick.

"I need to be by the sea," I lied, "I'll go for a couple of hours and be back."

"I don't see the harm," Amaryllis sighed.

"I do!" Clo huffed, "I'm going to smell of fish."

***

We arrived in four very quickly and I was straight away heading towards Victors Village. I remembered Finnick's house very well. Especially the intricate seashell art on the outside. He opened the door and wore a surprised expression, before letting me in.

"Snow," he murmured.

I nodded, "he tried," I said, "but I stupidly said no."

"What did he do Flaire?" Finnick asked, a mixture of panic and concern in his voice.

"He killed them Finnick, my family, my mum, my brother and my sister, all of them," I said breaking down into tears.

He was quick to pull me into a hug, which I was surprised about. We stayed there for a while until I'd calmed myself down.

"I'm sorry," I said, "we only just met, but I have no one else to go to."

"Come here anytime Flaire, my doors always open," he said slowly.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you," I gulped.

"What do you mean?" Finnick asked.

"About my parents," I said, "what if he comes after you?"

"He won't," Finnick said, "I'm the capitols sweetheart and earn him a lot of money. He won't be getting rid of me anytime soon, don't worry."

"Thank you Finnick," I said.

"Snow really knows how to mess people up huh?" Finnick sighed.

"I guess me does," I replied.

And from that day on, me and Finnick were great friends.

***
Hope you enjoyed the start ❤️
Thanks for reading
Rosabella xx