23-year-old Leon Kennedy, Umbrella's finest agent, is sent to Raccoon City in September 1998, during the night of the horrifying outbreak. He's told to secure a sample of the G-virus and to get rid of William Birkin, as well as to kill any of the re...
content warnings: very graphic descriptions of torture and gore, explicit sexual content, sickeningly wholesome relationship stuff, whole lotta dialogue and a whole lotta feelings, long final chapter shenanigans <3
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It's been a year.
A whole year since you left.
Leon has no idea how the hell he went through those four years without you. This one year has been lonelier than ever for him.
Everyone on the team could see it. After finally getting you back, he lost you again. While he didn't say it to anyone, everyone knew that he wasn't chasing anyone else solely because he still only had eyes for you and hoped that you'd eventually return to him.
He politely rejected the ladies at the agency asking him out, even with his flirty nature still being very much a part of his personality, though considerably less present whenever interacting with people outside of his close circle.
Nights began to feel longer, his difficulty sleeping increasing as he started having nightmares of you getting hurt. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop the echoes of your pained screams or the vision of you all cut up and bleeding running through his head.
After you left for Japan, he began to feel a small fraction of what you've felt over the years.
Self-doubt.
While Leon is not the type to worry about morality, he does wonder whether all of his actions have made him somewhat undeserving of happiness. Does he even deserve someone like you? Does he deserve the friends that's become his family at this point?
When he was younger, he wanted to do good. Truly. Make a difference in the world and everything.
And in a morally ambiguous way, he still wants to do that. But he wonders if he's too far gone — and that haunts him. Because he is the way he is. After everything he's done, he could never go back to the person he once was. If only his 19-year-old self would have known what he was in for when agreeing to that Umbrella deal.
Sometimes he finds himself wishing he wouldn't be able to feel any of it. He wishes he could be colder — but that's not him. Never has been.
He feels a lot. A lot of love, joy, gratitude. But his rage, loneliness, self-criticism and bitterness consumes him, as it has for a long time. Isn't that what he deserves? That's the price he has to pay, right?
It's his best friend who manages to squeeze his existential torment out of him while looking over the city lights from a high vantage point, only mere days after you left.
"You keep thinking like that — it'll drive you nuts." Lloyd tells him, adjusting the pair of glasses sitting on his nose, a small strand of blond hair covering his forehead.
Leon barely moves at all. "Someone once told me sanity is overrated. Can't help but agree."
