After three to four long years of uprooting to a small town in New Zealand, Lana had decided it was the right time to move back to London to finish off her studies at her home town whilst attending the University of Birmingham going to her second ye...
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It has been three years since I last saw her but why can't I let you go?
Oh, it's been three years and I still feel it all.
They say that you can't ever truly get over your first love that same person who loves you for who you are including your slightest flaws even though you have always dreamed about the exact moment of them being yours however, the only problem is that she doesn't remember me at all, therefore, I will make sure that she was going to remember me every single day until she falls in love with me somehow I was going to bring back the lights inside of her eyes even more beautiful than when we were kids.
The harsh glimmer of the sun was shining down on her face especially when it was the last week of summer which would soon be September even though we have been through difficult times in the past few years ago, I just want her to know that she was safe with me also I was planning on keeping all of my promises to her to prove that I would move mountains or the moon for her although we were sitting on the grass in my parent's backyard looking up at the skies.
"Do you know that I'm thinking of changing my favourite colours to brown or red?"I asked her randomly with a small smirk.
She slightly shifted in her place to turn over to look at me with her innocent Brown Bambi eyes and she said cluelessly "you must have a good reason why you are changing your favourite colours."I shook my head while continuing to chuckle thinking of the time she wears a red dress at her fifteenth birthday party also I love staring into her hazel brown eyes I fell in love with.
To me, the answer was pretty obvious as to why I like her whereas she simply doesn't believe me when I say those words to describe how I feel about her so I hope me showing it to her in my actions because actions speak louder than words as we continue to learn more about each other to make it easier for her instead of just rushing her to remember my name I was going to spend our free time during and after university to show her the brightest side of life.
"Aren't you going to ask me why-?"
She interrupts me "okay, why are you changing your favourite colours then?" she sat up and peered over at me again, "and didn't tell me some cringy and cliques reason for it unless it was for a special girl?" she lightly hits my shoulder in disbelief as I don't respond to her questions, keeping quiet for a second. And yet, she didn't know that she was the special girl who was the right one for me, I was being rather subtle about it when we were gazing into each other eyes I can see the light swirl of the colour of Amber in her eyes that weren't obvious until you look very closely at it.
There's a moment between the two of us when I knew that she must have felt it too, anyhow, I hopefully wishing not for my sister to steal her away from me because every single hour that we both spent together was so perfect as well as making it worthwhile for her to enjoy a few hours in advance as she was waiting for my sister Penelope to meet us out here and that's when it has occurred to me that I should shoot a quick message to my pal Colin to distract from meeting us out in the middle of the garden.
Me: Hey, I need you to distract my sister from interrupting me and her. Can you do that for me?
Colin: No worries man, I will stop your sister from cockblocking you.
Me: you know Lana means more to me than that, right?
Colin: Right sorry man, but can I tell you something in confidence and you promise not get mad?
Me: Of course, man.
Colin: I don't take this the wrong way but your sister is much prettier than you.
Immediately after receiving these text messages, I shook my head when I realized that my sister and he had some sort of love-hate relationship between the two of them but I constantly shake off the thought of them ever getting together soon after I had gotten the thought out of my head I resumed my discussion with my sister best friend Lana as she kept making me feel nervous and I wish that she would feel nervous too.
"Someday, you will know my little dove but here's a quick clue," I thought to myself about how not to make it too obvious for her, "look in the mirror and tell me what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you see yourself" she was a beautiful girl and she has such an amazing potential to go for in life but it was a pity that she had never noticed that side of her for a while since her accident.
Our short-lived moment lasted about an hour and a half before my sister came marching outside to the garden with my pal coin following right behind her trying to get my sister back inside the house then I looked at my pal who shrugged his shoulders informing me that he had done all that he can nevertheless, I was somewhat of a confused how he only managed to distract my son sister from coming out here. "I know what you are doing with my best friend but I'm not going to let you steal her from me just so you can break her the next day" warned irritated my sister Penelope.
I don't know why everyone else thinks that I'm a heartbreaker even though I was only doing what feels right to me at the time and no matter how hard I try no girl in the world can ever replace the same hole-sized shape on my heart the way my brunette rose does. I would eventually get my sister to trust that Lana will be in good hands so doesn't my actions speak for themselves when I visited her with the spare money that I got just to travel to New Zealand to see her even a few months ago, I visited here in the hospital after her accident staying the whole night there. "I'm not the same person who I was all those years ago, and the reason why I broke up with that girl was that none of them was her,"I explained to my sister Penelope.
Quite frankly, I mean all of the words that I say to her within my whole heart as I didn't care about how much it costs money to book a plane flight to NZ because it was worth it in the end holding her before summer came in the hospital explaining how much I feel about her but it still does pain me that I wasn't there to protect her from any of it. My whole heart cracks and then drops into the bottom pits of my stomach making me feel anxious, worried, scared and miserable as it was like my world crashing down when I heard the news from my parents yet, I was being strong enough for my sister who often cried on my shoulders until I took my sister to the shopping centre to a nice dessert place that serves unlimited dessert to cheer my sister Penelope up.
"Man, I know how pure and simple your intention for my sister is because you wouldn't leave her bedside at the hospital," her brother Benjamin acknowledged before he says, "but if you ever hurt my sister or maybe even make her cry then you better believe me when I say run!" Benji threatened me.
"I would never intentionally hurt your sister because she's my future wife and I know she might not know it yet, but I know it sounds absurd to you," I said with the most absolute certainty to her brother Benjamin.
Silently taking one last glance at her whilst my heart was pounding crazily in my chest longing, wanting and needing for her to feel the same way about me until now all I can do was be there for her when she needed someone to help catches her anytime she falls then she might slowly start to fall in love with me.
Dammit, I was so in love with her and I would blindly do anything that she had asked of me.
Some people might say it was your past experience that might define you however when I'm with her, she made me realize that it doesn't matter what happens in my past and I should just keep living in the present on my way to the future because I never know what might await me for tomorrow although she should start listening to her advice especially when I can see on her face it was rough how fragile she looks that I can tell that she wasn't going to get a normal amount of time to sleep this night so I handed her my hoodie and told her to keep it as I told her that I would see her later.
